a dead shadow

I wrote this as my college essay, I don't think it went over so well.

I am sitting at a distance on the edge of a couch. There is a long silence. I am as far away from my girlfriend as two people can be on a couch. She has just broken up with me. As tears streak down her face and mine, my leg suddenly jumps to life with the vibrations of my phone. I answer. It is my mother and our dog is sick. Very sick. The dog is at my brother’s house, had been for a while, since my brother claimed ownership when he moved out. It was fine, we had enough animals. But she calls, and I have to go to my brother’s because he let someone borrow his truck and my family was far off at home in Indiana. I am to pick the dog up because the dog can hardly move, his stomach is bloated and he is practically screaming with pain. I try to tell my now ex-girlfriend the situation and she says she is sorry. My mother calls again and tells me that she is going to pick up the dog, but we all need to meet her at the vet.

I get in my car without saying goodbye and speed over to the veterinarian. When I get there, my mother, brother and the dog are still not there. However, my father and sister have arrived and were there waiting. When your entire family is at the veterinarian to see a sick dog, the outlook is not what you want.

I look to my sister for some kind of help. She says, “Mom says he’s real bad. Do you think he’ll make it?” 

It was as if she was asking me if I would make it, if I would be able to handle his death. I don’t have anything to say, so I just stare at the ground and try to act like I’m okay.  The rest of the crew shows up. A girl runs outside and looks at the dog. She has on scrubs and her face contorts slightly and she says, “We need a stretcher.”

After rushing back inside, the nurse and another girl come out with a stretcher and after quite some time of struggle, take the dog inside. We are now all in a room. A doctor comes in to tell us that the dog’s stomach has twisted and that he is in very bad shape because of it. The doctor informs us that the dog will need surgery. The surgery will cost around six thousand to ten thousand dollars. We just can’t afford it and the dog is already quite old and nearly stiff with rheumatism. So, the decision is made that the dog be put to sleep. I am going to lose a dog. 

They bring him in and lay him down. He is heavily sedated so he doesn’t know we are there. They put a needle in him. The doctor begins to put fluids into his body through the IV in his leg. She comforts us with, “He can’t feel a thing.” 

I go to him and kneel down, grabbing his paw. He opens his eye for a split second that could be a thousand years for all I know. What could he think when he saw all of us standing around and that IV in his arm? Did he have enough time to catch a glimpse of the people who loved him before the light went out? I hope to myself that he did. As I sit with his hand in mine, slowly the breath leaves him and his stomach stops moving up and down. The tears fall down my face.