Resemblance

After midnight, creeping

Like a little child's nightmare

And occupies all dreams,

that were given to me in the vein

It strangles and suffocates me

Like someone's hands just gently tickling the back of my neck

And I fall into a sleep so deep

when the nightmares are about to feast

Only I'm no longer a child and I have no dowry

I'm not an adult and I have no dreams,

'Cause somebody once told me that dreams are for children

But how could they ever belong to me when they robbed me of them?

The nightmares

And they had my own form,

the image of my mother and the image of her mother

From whence I could only come,

if I resemble such hideous shadows?

And where do those shadows lead,

if not to thee?

And to me?

To our bed,

where they lick my feet

Velvety as butterfly wings

And reminds me of dreams

The nightmares 

And the aftertaste of it,

of what I might once have been if I had not been the offspring of a nightmare

But not having dreams is like not being a child

And maybe I never was

Couldn't have been

I didn't have time

'cause the nightmares crept into my sleep

Blacker than the night and took the form of my mother

They took my innocence and showed

depravity

As if I could ever be a child,

if they whispered in my ears at night?

And they crept under the duvet

And broke into my head

And put words in my mouth

And played with me like a cat 

with a mouse

I was just a little kid

Those were just dreams

Reality was my nightmare just like the wish

she would not be my nightmare,

but just a dream that would go away after I woke up 

The dream that doesn't take the form of my mother when I wake up

And I won't become her as she feared

to become that mother of hers

Author's Note

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