Chapter 32

Finally, the daily torture was over. The last day of school was three days ago and it was officially my fifteenth birthday. That also meant that it was the second anniversary of my mom’s death. 

I woke up feeling sad, but not as sad as I was last year. I had more or less come to terms with what had happened, thanks to James, Tessa, and the others. But she was my mom and I still missed her. It still hurt. That’s why when James asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday, my only answer was to see my mom. 

So today, after breakfast, the three of us got dressed, in black of course, hopped in the car, and headed to the cemetery. It was located about an hour away, in the town where I used to live. 

As we drove I couldn’t help but think about all of the memories I had with my mom. When I ran out of memories, I couldn’t help but think of what it would’ve been like if I hadn’t lost her. It made me really sad but at the same time… If all of that hadn’t happened? I probably never would’ve met James and Tessa, Michael and Steve, Mason, and so many others. So in a way, I was almost grateful. 

As we drove through the streets, I was hit with feelings of nostalgia. Sure, most of my time here wasn’t the greatest, but I did have plenty of good memories. We passed the park, Alex’s house, and even Dimitri and Tonya’s house. But then, we passed my old place. It still looked exactly the same and my brain flooded with painful memory after painful memory. Tears stung my eyes. For the entire drive, I had been absentmindedly humming along to the radio but stopped after seeing it. James and Tessa must’ve noticed because I could feel both of them look at me. 

“Is everything alright, sweetie?” Tessa asked gently. The house had already passed by then and I was now looking down at the floor. 

“We just passed my old house…” I looked up to see both looking at me with concern, but nothing more was said. A few minutes later we pulled into the grocery store parking lot to get some flowers. We picked out pure white oriental lilies and red roses. Her two favorite flowers. James paid for a dozen of each and we headed back out to the car. 

It only took another two minutes to reach the cemetery. Once we did, I hopped out of the car and headed straight to where she was buried. I didn’t even wait for James and Tessa. 

The three-minute walk to her grave took me one with how fast I was walking. The second I reached her grave I threw myself down onto the ground and tears burst from my eyes. I stayed on my hands and knees, gripping the grass with all my strength, for two minutes before my sobbing decreased to silent tears. I sat down crossed legged, staring at her name on the stone. 

Roseanne Brooks

Wife, Mother, Friend

I don’t know how long I sat there, tears running down my cheeks before I heard footsteps behind me. I wiped my puffy eyes and forced myself to stop crying even though I could have all day. An arm wrapped around my shoulders and I looked to my right to see James. He was squatting next to me with the flowers in his hand. He handed them over to me and rubbed my head before standing back up. He walked over to Tessa’s side and grabbed her hand. I leaned forward and gently laid the flowers right in front of the stone. I kissed my index and middle fingers and placed them on the stone. 

“I love you, mom.” 

I stood up and took one last look at the grave before turning around and heading back to the car without another word. Once I reached the car, I sat back in my seat and stared out the window until James and Tessa returned five minutes later. Without a word, James started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. 

We made the hour trip home and once we got there I headed to my room for a little time to myself. We would’ve stopped to visit Dimitri and Tonya but they were away on vacation. In my room, I laid in bed with the covers tucked under my neck and turned on the tv to watch some Arrow. 

For the first time today, I checked my phone and discovered messages from Mason, Isiah, and Kevin all wishing me a happy birthday. Lunch came and passed, but I wasn’t hungry so I stayed in my room.