Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning wanting to stay in bed and never wake up. 

It was June 5 my fourteenth birthday and the one year anniversary of my mom’s death. The joy that usually came with birthdays was not going to be here. 

Knowing that my father was always hungover and still sleeping every morning, I snuck downstairs and threw two double chocolate waffles into the toaster. Once they were made, I grabbed a paper towel and wrapped them up. I poured some chocolate milk into a to-go cup and left the house. 

Every morning, just like my dad slept in, I made my breakfast and headed to the local park. There was a bench underneath this very old and huge oak tree that I would always sit on. There were normally a few kids running around and playing, their parents sitting on benches and talking while they played. I enjoyed watching the kids run and be free, although I hoped that no one thought I was creepy. I didn’t think they did though. I mean I was still only thirteen, well, fourteen now. 

It took me about five minutes to get there, but I enjoyed the walk, listening to the birds chirp. Reaching the park I saw two little girls running around. Their parents sat on a bench talking and watching their children. An older gentleman was walking along the path with a dalmatian. On the far side of the park, I spotted a couple jogging together. 

I made my way over to my bench and sat down. It was almost more peaceful than normal. Lucky for me, my waffles were still warm. I finished my breakfast rather quickly and decided to go for a walk. My friend told me that I needed to go to her house around noon. I still had an hour to kill. So, I walked around town and enjoyed the peaceful stroll. I wasted about half an hour before turning around and heading to her house. 

I made it there at exactly 12:05. I knocked on the door and it opened revealing a smiling and very excited Alex. She was wearing a pair of dark skinny jeans and a white shirt with pink roses. It was her favorite shirt. 

Before I could even say hi, she grabbed my hand and dragged me into her house and into the dining room. My eyes widened at the sight. It was decorated with all kinds of stuff. There was a happy birthday banner hanging in the middle of the ceiling. Yellow streamers, my favorite color, were hung all around the ceiling and there were balloons of every color scattered around. There was a yellow tablecloth on the table and there was even birthday confetti scattered around on it. The things that captured my attention though, were the things on the table. At one end, there were a couple of beautifully wrapped gifts. On the other end were places set up for lunch with my favorite food sitting in the middle. Pizza. Typical, I know, but I loved it so who cares. 

Alex’s parents both came into the room and wished me a happy birthday, but I could see the sadness in their eyes as well. They were good friends with my mom. They missed her too. 

Alex pushed me down into a seat and placed a slice of mushroom pizza on my plate. She then filled my glass with Mountain Dew, my favorite soda. Once I had been served, everyone else got their own stuff. They were treating me like a princess today. We chatted about anything and everything while we ate. I ended up eating half of the mushroom pizza! 

Afterward, we just sat there and talked a bit more while we let the food settle in our stomachs. They even had a moment of silence and spoke about my mother honoring the life she had. 

About ten minutes later Alex jumped up and declared that it was time for presents. Walking over to the other end of the table she grabbed all three presents, handing two to her parents and keeping one for herself. They had all gotten me something. 

Alex’s father handed me his first. It was the smallest one but it was wrapped in a very pretty yellow paper that was really shiny. I slowly unwrapped it, not wanting the moment to pass too quickly. When the paper was gone, it revealed a small box for jewelry. I opened the box and inside was a beautiful necklace. This family all knew about my insecurities and always tried to cheer me up about it. The necklace was a medium length silver chain. In the middle, there was a small silver bar. On it, it said “I am enough” in curly writing. It was so beautiful. I put it on immediately and fell in love. It was perfect. I got up and gave him a hug. 

Next, her mother handed me her gift. It was a little bit bigger than the one I had just gotten. This one was wrapped in a beautiful gold paper. I unwrapped this one equally as slowly to discover a book. It was the Last Sacrifice by Richelle Mead, the final in a series of six called Vampire Academy. It was my favorite series. My mom had gotten me the first five before she had died. Now, I had the last one. My eyes began to water in happiness but I kept it contained and gave her a tight hug. 

Lastly, Alex handed me her gift. Her’s was in a bag instead of wrapped. The bag was a shiny yellow just like the paper on my first gift and there was yellow tissue paper on top. I pulled it out and noticed that there were multiple things there. I pulled out the first thing I felt. It was a small stuffed bear. It almost resembled a Valentine’s bear because on it’s stomach it said, “I love you beary much.” The only difference was that it was yellow instead of red, pink, or white. I set it aside and pulled out the next thing. It was a very big Hershey’s Milk Chocolate bar, the biggest I had ever seen. She must have ordered it online because we didn’t sell that size anywhere near here. I set it next to the bear and reached in the bag for the last item. 

My already large smile grew ten times bigger. It was a set of all the current seasons of Arrow. I wasn’t actually a fan of Arrow. Alex, however, was a huge fan. Every once in a while when I came over she would be watching it so I had seen a couple of them. The ones that I had seen I did like though. I mentioned that I would like to watch it from the beginning. I can’t believe she remembered! Setting the DVDs down as well I gave Alex a huge hug and said thank you to everyone. 

Suddenly the lights flicked off and we were covered in darkness. I groaned, knowing what came next. Alex’s mom came out from the kitchen holding a cake with candles lit in her hands. Alex was next to her holding tubs of ice cream. All three of them started singing and I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. I always hated when people would sing happy birthday to me. It was so embarrassing. Finally, they made their way over to me and the song ended. 

“Blow out the candles and make a wish!” Alex said. I closed my eyes and leaned forward. I thought for a second before making my wish and blowing out the candles. They cheered and the light came back on. Setting the cake and ice cream on the table Alex turned to me. 

“What did you wish for?” she whispered in my ear. Smiling, I shook my head no. This was going to drive her crazy. 

“If I tell you my wish won’t come true,” I whispered back into her ear. She frowned at me and I burst into laughter. 

Finally looking back onto the cake I noticed immediately that it was whipped icing, my favorite, and I guessed that it was probably chocolate cake. The cake's icing was white and there was a border piped around the bottom. There were red roses made of icing in all of the corners. In the middle was “Happy Birthday, Sera” written in curly letters and yellow icing. They had gotten Moose Tracks, Mint Chocolate Chip, and Cookies and Cream ice cream. All three of my favorites. 

Alex's dad came over with plates and silverware and set them in front of her mom. She immediately grabbed the plates and set them next to her. Grabbing the knife she cut into the cake, making sure to get a flower and set it on a plate before handing it to me. I opened all three tubs of ice cream and got one scoop of all three. 

Sitting back down in my spot I looked at the three of them, thinking about how lucky I was that people like them were in my life. However, it brought my wish back into my head. A frown took over my smile and I sighed. My wish was never going to come true. 

Alex plopped down beside me in her chair and I plastered a smile onto my face. I didn’t want her to worry. Not even she knew what my dad did to me. Sure, they knew that I had insecurities, they just didn’t know why and I wanted to keep it that way. If they tried to interfere they would get hurt as well. I couldn’t have that. 

We spent another half an hour eating and talking. The cake was chocolate as I had guessed. 

Once everyone was finished we all helped clean up and when we were done it was time for me to leave. My dad would be waking up soon and if I wasn’t home it wouldn’t be pretty. So, gathering up my presents and giving everyone hugs and thank yous, I started heading home.

Reviews

[Carola]

it was an easy read, nothing really outstanding, but a lot better than chapter 1.
from what i've read so far it's really a book about teenagers, so your market is really teenagers.
i repeat what i wrote earlier, it's not a story i would choose to read.
i won't review any other chapters, i doubt that you would return the favour.
cheerio carola

[alanwgraham]

What a contrast with chapter 1 which is full of drama and leaves many questions. This chapter 2 is perhaps for me just too mundane with too much detail about the time in the park and describing the room and the presents. Will all that detail hold the readers attention and take the story forward? What I want to know is why her Dad blames her for her mothers death but I guess that is to come. The main thing is to read over the chapter several times and try to pick out as many problems as you can. In general try to cut as much as you can - repetition, anything that is just padding etc. I did notice that you mentioned a couple of presents first and then there were three! It always makes a big difference if you can get a friend to proof read it for you. Hope this helps a bit. I think this story has a lot of potential but I would focus on the psychology of the situation.
Good luck.
Alan

[John the Baptist]

Quite nicely done. You've gotten the reader's attention with the graphic violence of chapter 1, creating a sympathetic central character in the process. The pacing is good and the theme stays unified, with no wandering. My only suggestion is to proofread it, looking for places that need commas.