All about last night.

Last night I had a dream this poem is all about that..

Last night it was all about me and you,
In the dim light of the candles,
With curtains blue..
Last night it was all about me and you,
With all your favourite stuffs,
That I knew..
The way you were perfumed,
Drove me crazy,
Further,
I bent on my knees holding your hand,
Our eyes met and our smile renew,
Last night it was all about me and you.
You said nothing but I must had to,
If it's a dream then let me sleep for the rest of my life,
Because it's miserable without you,
Last night it was all about me and you...

Author's Note

Just started writing..so go easy guys and suggest me so I can improve it.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a well-done word picture describing a night dream or a daydream about someone special, using a scattering of rhymes here & there. I have a couple ideas, as far as how your interesting poem could be pumped up a bit. This line: "with all your favorite stuffs" -- this would be more dynamic & relatable if you were specific about what these things are. We don't know if you're talking about bread and wine or if you're talking about silk stockings and lacy bra. When you write in generalities, it's never as relatable as when you use specific details. Another line: "the way you were perfumed" -- this is a place where specific details could help the reader visualize the situation you're describing . . . are you talking about scents like the natural perfume of pheromones on someone's skin, or is it a flowery-scented cologne that she's sprayed on her neck? Any time you can add a few details, this will make your writing more memorable. These are just ideas for improving as you continue to write (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Govind singh]

Thnk u for all Ur kind words and for the time u have given to review my poem...I will surely work on the suggestion u have suggested..:)

[Amy]

Good job! It's a very sweet poem, and the flow is really nice.

[Govind singh]

Thank you..means a lot..