Chapter 1 - Introduction

This is the first debut chapter for this concept. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Maniacs

Chapter 1 - Introduction

Entry #1 (Approximately 300 miles to destination)

The dust kicked up from the bombs has left the sky looking dark and orange. We are stuck in the aftermath, the world after the world. I think it's been a few months since it all began but things have escalated very quickly. From my calculations based on human findings it seems that one to three percent of the population is resistant to the radiation, forty to fifty percent have mutated into what news stations dubbed Maniacs and anybody else is dead.

It seems that during the war a new technology was born. A terrorist group created a nuclear bomb capable of leveling cities but that wasn't even the worst of it. In fact, you were considered lucky if the bomb killed you. The fallout afterward is where the real nightmare began.

Most of this information I have compiled from the CDC and through various studies but it seems that somehow, the nuclear compounds incited rapid mutations both physically and mentally. The victims flesh morphed into terrifying shapes, faces warped into unrecognizable clusters and the person they once were was forever lost. Accompanying the deformity came hypermania, an intense irreversible manic state that caused an extremely violent excitement that fixated its rage on those that didn't share their deformity.

In addition, Maniacs lost the natural ability to sleep and in turn, the constant mind stimulation wreaked havoc on their memory. Maniacs are no longer able to remember who they once were or identify the people that they had known. They can’t remember anything of their pasts and only live within present moments. This prolonged deprivation of sleep has also left them severely disoriented and plagued with vivid and horrific hallucinations which usually intensify their rage.

Maniacs have been known to hunt in both packs and on their own. Some seem to want to be in the presence of others that shared their fate while others strayed from large groups to roam endlessly alone. I have also confirmed that upon mutation they become entirely carnivorous and cannibalistic. I hypothesize due to the brain losing almost the entirety of its cognitive ability that they are able to eat less frequently than those unaffected.

Now that you are up to speed, my name is Kade Waltz and my sister Mikael and I have been holed up in a gas station for a little over a day now. We are located a few miles outside of Ennis Texas and Galveston, which is approximately three hundred miles away, is our current target destination. Our parents are dead and we will make it to the coast. We have no other option.

I have decided I would write about our journey in this composition book I picked up from an abandoned drugstore a few miles back. Hell, maybe if things ever calm down my observations and studies can help pave the future of education on surviving the new world. When I was growing up I always wanted to be a teacher. Maybe when all of this is over I will be.

To my understanding the port in Galveston and the areas surrounding are suppose to be home to a plethora of ships and water vessels that could get us out of here. I’m sure most of them are already gone but I am holding out hope that somewhere down there, there is a boat waiting for us. Experience has only taught me that there is no place on land where we can be safe. Not a single corner in this hell in which I can have a moment of peace or a sigh of relief. Such trivial luxuries have been lost to us.

It should be noted that other than Mikael, I haven’t seen a single person in nearly two months. I couldn’t tell you how many Maniacs I’ve seen and same goes for the number that I’ve killed. In this current world, in the aftermath, it’s a duty that I have taken on. I swore to myself I would protect her.

We have consumed what nutritional value was left in the station and by that I mean gas station junk food. HoHos, Twinkies, Slim Jims you know, all the crap you’d beg your parents for. Anyways, I’ve decided tomorrow morning we will begin moving again. Be back soon.

-

Kade placed the tattered composition book back into his backpack. He had shaggy brown hair and time had given his well-shaped jawline quite the stubble. Stress had seemed to change his once bright blue eyes dull and sunken. Dirt and grime lived on his skin and under his nails.

He stared at Mikael sleeping soundly using her bag as a pillow along with her jacket and some old newspapers as blankets. Kade took comfort in knowing that she could rest with the belief that her big brother would protect her and protect her he would, even if it would cost him his life.

Kade rose slowly to his feet and walked carefully toward the front of the station, he crouched below the windows and looked out into the night.

“Nothing.” He whispered to himself, “So far so good.”

He then checked the makeshift barricade he and Mikael had built by using a broom, a mop and a bike chain placed through the handles of the doors then placing product shelves against the glass. As long as they stayed low and kept quiet Kade knew everything would be alright.

He crept back over to Mikael and slid his bag next to hers. As he laid beside her his eyes never strayed from focusing on the door. He eventually drifted away as his eyelids fluttered to a shut.

-

Kade awoke the next morning to the sound of crashes, rattling chains and the screaming whispers of his sister Mikael. The banging on the glass made his ears ring and he could hear the muffled grunts and growls from outside. A maniac stood pounding and shaking the glass doors to the station.

The maniac stood at about six, two and looked to be about two hundred pounds. His arms were cocked out place at the elbows and one of his ears seemed to be shifting down his face. An eye socket had been taken over by a mound of flesh and his whole being was covered in lumps. As he repeatedly headbutt the door Kade could see his mouth was contorted into a wicked and warped grin filled with jagged teeth overlapping one another.

“Kade! Please, Kade! He knows were in here!” Mikael's whispers were strained. “Get up! C’mon! Get up!”

Kade stroked his five o’clock shadow, stretched his arms out and rubbed his eyes. Then as quickly as he woke, he was up and charging out the back door. As he rounded the corner of the station he reached down into his boot and pulled out his father’s hunting knife, a black stainless steel blade with a fine dark mahogany handle. Then Kade let out a whistle.

“Well good morning big fella!” He smiled, “It’s a little too early for this don’t-cha think?” Kade then shifted his head to the left and popped his neck.

Immediately the maniac turned to Kade and began to stumble rapidly toward him. Easily the maniac had about five inches and forty pounds against Kade. His knees buckled and his ankles wobbled, the mutation had nearly ruined his ability to walk. Kade began to jog toward him and then his jog turned into a run. Then that run turned into a full sprint.

Mikael watched from inside the station as Kade met the maniac with a high kick catching him right in the jaw. As the maniac fell as did Kade landing with his blade directly into his chest. Kade could feel his blade slip in between the ribs and pierce his heart. After a loud screech and a few muscle spasms the maniac was dead.

Pulling the knife from the maniac’s heart, Kade jumped to his feet. His eyes scanned the surrounding area waiting for the next one. After a few quiet uninterrupted moments he wiped off the blood on his blade using his pants then placed the knife back into his boot. He then whispered softly to himself,

“Now…” He closed his eyes, “Coffee.”

Author's Note

Thank you so much for reading. Let me know your thoughts! (NOTE: I did not really do any grammar checks so if you spot any, point em out!)

Reviews

[Bluesbrothers626]

Nice diary entry, you should continue it that way. It's pretty interesting.

[George Peck]

very imaginative, fun for me to read yes have errors but the idea is sound and very inventive even using a well-used topic end of the world. When you can get me interested in something I've read a lot about that's awesome. Thank you. You could expand a little more on some of the story this is such a great start. Thank you again.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"Chapter 1"
Nichals duboe,
I skimmed your introduction and will say that it is pretty informative as far as what is happening in a destructive event and its effect. I do not read nor write anything that is very dark or horrific but I wish you every enjoyment and success with your dream. Great start.
Kathy

[quarintine_deathangel]

You e-mailed me about Maniacs. A li'l bit of background, I love darkness, gothic and horror as well as my writing and do quite a bit of writing on deep, scary and thoughtful subjects. Just reading this, I feel like I'm watching a bad syfy movie. NOT because your work is Bad. It needs some in depth organization. You're trying to write something scary without grabbing attention and then spewing details onto a poor and confused reader who will quickly close the book and gain quite a disinterest in a beginning headache. But, with my experience, I understand this so well. You have this vivid idea playing in your head...and it's coming out in a muddled puddle. If you've ever read Warm Bodies, WWZ or even some Steven King, every detail has a direction. The little mishaps are Important. You have not an introduction, but a painstakingly rough draft. I HATE to say it like that, but I have ten sitting on my shelf >> So, my advice is consult some experts. Who do you know that likes scary stuff? What's the science and psychology behind horror, research it!
Now, for the syfy stuff... There's a tumblr artist called Momolady, mothershadow and themacabreprince. The beauty in these guys is that they create their own creatures. And it's HARD to create a NEW creature. I mean, the games and media now, photoshop is common and the artists out there are international, so where do you even begin to ID YOUR idea?! Welp, I'm learning too, and I found an Amazing book by the guy who draws for Magic the Gathering cards, like whose a better expert, yknow? And as any Dnd expert would, he rolls dice. I've also had many experts in art and carving explain that anatomy makes a drawing REAL. So, in unveiling these 'Maniac' characters, you need to suggest to the blank reader what exactly these guys look like. Momolady tends to use pic snips and collages, instead of having a drawn out figure, which gives everyone their own direction on how these dudes may look, but everyone is in the right direction with a couple of descriptors. You need to break down a timeline of what has to happen first, how much of the puzzle you want to reveal to the reader as you go. Throwing ALL of your creative and interesting thoughts at these people on first thought from just excitement will ruin the story, and readers will go. But if you keep that bit till the end to tell, it's all elementary. If you'd like to collab on some simple rps or stories, let me know, I absolutely love doing them, and am working on a composition as such myself! Raggedy Ann's Dollhouse. Anyway, you need to step back and think on this. A really good reference may be Robert Bloch's story. Because he takes realistic events and classically breaks them down.
Now, I really want to point out your strongest trait you've nearly voided, to bring out zambies, which many are a bit desensitized to atm after the walking dead, Warm bodies, WWZ and Supernatural have hit shelves and screens on a pretty large fandom. You are a very sympathetic, humanistic and intrinsically valued person from what I can tell (I'f you're making zambies in the basement, I honestly don't see it in your lovely writing and intro.) You have traits like Neil Gaiman. You can manipulate sympathy and care in a horror writing or just a strange world to either make a beautiful picture, a moment of hesitation and held breath, or the saddest loss of a story. That's an ability to practice and harness well for you. So work on bringing in a good background to start, that delineates from your natural ability, but leaves a flame of hope for it to start. I think you've started by introducing the bro and sis, but, imo, of course you don't have to, instead of a narrated intro, I'd do a moment generally basing their area, make it decrepit, hopeless, inhumane, starving, struggling, harsh, cold. But explain the sacrifice of the brother in the smallest sense, maybe he's thinner and scragglier and she's stronger, then wrestles with him proving her strength, and keep it human, and simple. You can bring out the big guns later. I'd suggest an in depth and third person expression of a decrepit and abandoned, post apocalyptic gas station. Use some of those same descriptions to introduce the 'Maniacs' ~the black tar and dust of an old road stuck with pot holes crossing their dead skin in black bruises and textured old cuts from a beaten victim as the wind whistled through worn out lungs~ scientifically ppl tend to pick up things from their environment. In a face-off way of seeing things, make a character that blends and grows from the environment. You need to take the time to turn each of these sentences into a chapter, and that's how you end up with a novel. I like short stories because they're the non-long winded versions xD I'll edit pieces if it helps too, just e-mail me or im me on fb. You have a good start, it needs adjustment and time is all. Also, Maniacs might be a little too strong of a reference, maybe calm it down. Give people a curiosity, not a direct monster. Give them something to pity and sympathize. That's where I think you might have a simpler and more natural approach. Just remember this is my viewpoint, and I could be wrong. It's my best guess on your work, but it's your art and your right to do as you wish ^^

[quarintine_deathangel]

Just a note, I had only seen the intro, and hadn't checked out the visuals and extras yet when writing this. But directly from the writing your characters seem vague instead of thought through in depth by explanation only. I'll check out the extras before reading more

[Chai Tea]

:) There are quite a few grammar errors and missing punctuation marks, but it's interesting and I like where you're going with this. I hope to learn more as you go!

[Nicholas Duboe]

Yeah I am not great on back checking. Please feel free to point the errors out so I can correct them. Thanks!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good opening chapter. Good characters and I liked the story line. The story had great possibilities. Thank you for sharing the amazing chapter.
Coyote

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you very much! It means a lot, I appreciate you reading it.

[Coyote Poetry]

Please send read request and you are welcome.

[Maria20]

Am already waiting for the Next Chapter, Its catching for me. I love it!