Contradiction

A challenge poem I wrote on contradictions. Go on and try to write one yourself!

Contradiction

I swam across a field to meet a stranger that I knew,

all to tell a lie that I had known to be true.

I looked at her with eyes shut tight, yelling in a whisper,

Screaming softly, "I hate you!" and that is when I kissed her.

Author's Note

Let me know what you think! This is a poem challenge, go ahead and try to write your own contradiction poem!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

You use many contradictions in your poem (clever), not just the main untruth “I hate you!” Swam across a field . . . stranger I knew . . . lie that’s true . . look with eyes shut . . . yelling in a whisper . . . & more. I get the feeling you scribbled this poem quickly, so I won’t go too hard on details. There’s one picky thing I’d like to bring up, which you could do well to consider in future writings. In line 2, there are only 2 words that impart anything meaningful (“lie” and “true”). All the other words are “filler” used to maintain your well-crafted rhythmic style. I suggest you use fewer “filler” words & use more vivid popping dynamic imagery instead. Line 2 could be: “a stickery lie prickles my mind all because it’s true” . . . There’s also a spot that feels repetitious: “yelling in a whisper, screaming softly”— these are two phrases that say the same thing. Your writing instincts are strong & I hope you’ll be open to suggestions since you asked me to review you (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you very much. You're right in that this was something I just jotted down on paper one day. I very much value your honest feedback and appreciate your time.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

love all the contradictory words
very clever
thanks for entry into my 5 lines and under comp good luck
from me

[Scerina Elizabeth]

Another beautifully written piece of poetry. You are truly a talented poet - short, sweet, and to the point...

Always beautifully written and I can feel what your feeling through your own words...

Well done :)

[Nicholas Duboe]

Much appreciated! Your comments are always great!

[Scerina Elizabeth]

Anytime :)

[B]

This world is never the perfection we draw within
and within each contradiction lies an element of pain and beauty

I love this philosophical piece

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you so much! Im glad you liked it