A Promise

A love poem with the concept of pleading, praying and doing anything to get someone back or to love you. Enjoy!

A Promise

If God lets her knock on my door today,

I promise I'll kneel down in prayer,

just to have another touch,

of my fingers through her hair.

I'll go to church every single day,

I'll worship in front of his shrine,

I promise I'll kneel down in prayer,

if he would just make her mine.

I'll sacrifice all of my vices,

I'll bathe myself clean of sin,

I promise I'll kneel down in prayer,

if I could just hold her again.

So please let her knock on my door today,

Lord, I swear all of this is true,

I promise I'll kneel down in prayer,

if you'd make her love me too.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to let me know what you think!

Reviews

[MrsDBeukes]

So full of emotion, I can feel the pain

[Nicholas Duboe]

I appreciate it. Thanks for reading!

[alice]

This is a lovely poem really enjoyed it has a great flow to it

[ANTO]

Deals with deities have occurred in literature down through the ages. Your writing here Gothika goes beyond a plea for hearts to be joined - it speaks about the nature of humans relationship with God and how it has remained basically the same for millennia.
Like the old saying though 'eaten bread is soon forgotten' and the promises that are made are usually quickly broken when life improves and memories fade.
This is fascinating writing G.

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you very much!

[Hizza Saeed]

This is a really nice poem. And real touchy. I loved it! Nice work :)

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you!

[Geca]

The starkly religious themes in this mixed with the romantic tones of the poem make it an interesting read. All I noticed were some capitalization slip-ups and 'let's' instead of 'lets' in the first line, but that was quickly overshadowed by the pull of the piece. Overall, a good poem!

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thanks for pointing that out! Glad you liked it!

[Taylor]

Nice, tight poem. Easy to identify with the supplicant.

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thanks for reading!

[Brad Ganier]

Very sensational! Capitalization needs a bit of work, but other than that, good job!

[Nicholas Duboe]

Hopefully I fixed my errors. Thank you

[Kaitlyn Casper]

Hey there! I like your poem concept! Just make sure that you continue writing in the same tense through out the poem. The last line, "If you just made her love me too" is written in past-tense where as the rest of the poem is seemingly present-tense. Also be aware of your capitalization, if you're writing a poem that's grammatically correct (i.e. punctuation and capitalization) there's no need to capitalize the beginning of every line, just the word after every period. However if it's a personal preference there's no harm in it really, just thought I'd let you know. Great work!

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you very much! I hope I fixed the errors and yeah I mostly do the capital stuff as just a preference.