Forever More

I sort of dark love poem. I hope you like it! (By the way I got married March 7th so, yay for me!)

Forever More

The dawn had broke as it had broken before,

While I sat still against the door,

My eyes to the window, I watched birds soar

And I sat still forever more.

The dusk had fell as it had fallen before,

While I sat still against the door,

My eyes to the window, I watched rain pour,

And I sat still forever more.

I sat still against the door as I had sat in days before,

My eyes to the window, I watched, what for?

For you my dear, forever more.

Author's Note

Feel free to let me know what you think!

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

thanks for entry into my poetry romantic competition still going through entries
loved the way you used forever more in your poem.
beautiful love poem sad

[micky]

Wow this is truly beautiful in a heartbreaking painful way but I love this piece

[NoelHC]

Well done, you kept the meter constant through the three verses, and I see you corrected the one little error mentioned in an earlier review. I appreciate that when the author fixes suggestions.
OK, one more suggestion. Instead of sitting still against the door all day long, get up, clean the house, make a nice dinner, open a bottle of wine and set a nice table for your dear. They would probably appreciate that more than someone that "sat still forever more." : )

[Riley Justine]

This is an amazing poem, I absolutely loved it!

In verse 1 of stanza 3 you have written "I sat still against the door as I has sat in days before". I believe this should be "I sat still against the door as I [had] sat in days before".

Otherwise an impeccable piece

~Ri

[Jennie Baron]

A deserving contest winner! You've captured so artfully that sense of longing and made the reader feel it. This has a songlike feel to it.

[stars are far]

that was very beautiful work, i loved the feeling of longing and waiting for that someone.
well done :)

[Mila]

Congratulations on winning the Need Reviews? V contest!

A very beautiful poem, a thoroughly enjoyed it! Well done :)

-Mila

[Hizza Saeed]

This is really beautiful ♡

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you very much!

[ANTO]

Happy belated Wedding Anniversary G.
This reminded me of the story of Hatciko - a powerfully moving story of devotion.
Just like this.

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you!!

[goldie uttamchandani]

This is so beautiful.. waiting for someone from dusk till dawn. :)

[Nicholas Duboe]

So glad you liked it!