Time Isn't Everything

A poem based on the concept of being able to capture time. I hope you enjoy it!

Time Isn't Everything

If I could trap time in a bottle,

I promise I'd use it for good,

I'd give my mom a few more years,

and give my daughters all I could.

I'd tie the bottles in beautiful ribbon,

I'd tie them up in silky bows,

I'd give a lot of them away as gifts,

Or sell them in traveling shows.

Perhaps they'd call me Father Time,

As they came to see my face,

Maybe to get a bottle from me,

Wrapped up in pretty lace.

But all the people I had seen,

Would inevitably fall away,

As I couldn't give time to everyone,

To live another day.

Then I'd sit alone with all my time,

With nothing left but me,

And realize that time isn't everything,

But the people within it, you see.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to let me know what you think!

(Also feel free to check out my other poem "The Wind Still Needs a Chime" as it is in the same fashion as this piece and hopefully I will be able to create a series of these.)

Extra info on this poem:
1st Place in a WC contest with 62 submissions.
Runner Up in a WC contest with 97 submissions.
2nd Best Poet in a WC contest with 21 submissions.

Reviews

[pia]

this is absolutely amazing. i loved the concept and the portrayal of how time is so important and valuable but at the end of the day. its the people within the time frame who are more valuable
loved th structure and the words you used for such a powerful poem

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you very much! I always love the comments I get on this particular piece. I am glad you read it, thank you!

[Nova]

So beautiful, very sweet, and well written! Wonderful!

[Fairy Dust]

It is a great poem loved it

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you!

[WindsorWolf28]

That's amazing. This is an incredible poem.

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you!

[Silent Scribe]

Quite a thought provoking poem. So many happy images come to mind when reading this yet at the end it is not a very happy picture yet a sad one. Very well done in my mind.

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you very much!

[sinNsincerity]

I like how you used the concept of father time.
Great Job, I really enjoyed this.

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you very much! I really appreciate it!

[Honey.K]

I'm usually not a big fan of rhyming.. but I really enjoyed this poem. The flow of words is beautiful and the concept really gives us alot to think about.

[goldie uttamchandani]

so true... time is the one thing we simply cannot capture and keep with us. Instead, best to enjoy every minute, moment and second. Good concepts.. and I love Father Time

[h d e rushin]

modern poetry has two main elements. A sense of rationalism and emotion. Putting the two together
doesn't mean you've satisfied poetry's requirements, just that you understand the "math"
of poetry writing and you listen very well. "Were only as sick as our secrets"...which means,
whatever psychological concept you're trying to convey becomes the slave to the emotional
intent. And since time is everything, then why bother with the trivial details of relationships.

I love this poem. But then again, I love poetry and especially sincere poetic expressions. But this
is the glaring example why a rhyme scheme is tedium. Because as the poem progressed
you seemed to be grouping for words that rhymed with the rational response to
the idea that time is far too short to fill it with the unimaginable. That's just what I personally
think of post-modernist poetry; that the verse of poetry is so often truncated by rhyme restriction.
I am sure that others here will argue this point. And that's ok too.

Your poems are powerful, beautiful and believable. Thank you for sharing this with us and for
inviting me to review it......dana

[Ana D S M]

Beautiful poem. I love the concept and message.

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you! I really appreciate it

[Sher A. Lynn]

I really liked the crafting of this piece, it flows so gracefully and gets tied up perfectly with no loose ends. Bravo.

It also reminds me of the Eleventh Doctor from Doctor Who. He even wears a bow tie!

[Nicholas Duboe]

Thank you very much! So glad you liked it and took the time to read it!