Chapter 3 - Escape From The World

The dinner table was silent besides the occasional clang of fork meeting plate. The silence almost had a body to it as if you could feel it watching you in the corner waiting for you to break it's hold. I sat slumped over my meal on one side, my Mom quietly proper on the other. She had soft blue eyes and faded blond hair, her scrubs were pink with little white flowers on them. She looked drained from work and her wrinkles seemed slightly deeper than usual. It seemed as if we lived in separate worlds connected by one light brown wooden table. An equally wooden chair still sat near in the middle from where my Dad used to sit. Sometimes I feel like I'll look up from my plate to see him looking at me confusingly like he did before he left. Its not that we got along or anything like that but I enjoyed life much more when my Mom was happy. Now we sit in this silence and pretend our family isn't what it is. I guess it all seems better that way, her hiding liquor in her drawer, me turning up my music. We both found ways to escape from the world.

My Dad left when I was twelve, an awkward stage in life to leave, but he did. I remember waking up one morning rubbing my eyes as I walked out of my room to find my Mom with her head buried in her hands while she sobbed on the couch in the living room. My eyes widened and I sat next to her while putting my arm around her shoulder.

"Whats the matter?" I said concerned.

She only lifted her head to look at me for a moment. Tears fell from her cheeks like diamonds.

"Mom…" I squeezed her shoulder tightly.

She picked up her head once more to look at the refrigerator in the kitchen. A note hung by a magnet with my Dad's handwriting on it. I walked toward it slowly, the words coming more and more into focus with each step.

It read, "Dear Diane,

 

I've felt a certain way for awhile now and the day has come that I can't take it any longer. Things are not like they used to be around here. I live in a family that makes me feel alone inside and every smile I've put on in the past year has either been forced or faked. I hate for it to be this way but I've found someone else and I am leaving to be with her. Please look after Jed for me. I'm sorry. Goodbye.

Sincerely-

David"

Early that morning my Father had gathered his things, wallet, cell phone, suit case, weeks worth of clothes and then left without a word. My Mother woke to find an empty space in her queen sized bed and his wedding ring on the dresser. She had rolled over to kiss him good morning but only felt the emptiness that was my Father's sobering absence. Getting out of bed, she rubbed her eyes just as I did as she walked out her room toward the kitchen expecting to find a man she'd known for years. A man cooking breakfast or leaning into the fridge for a half empty gallon of milk. She awoke that morning expecting a normal day in a normal life but all she found, all she could see, was the empty hole my Father left as he walked through the door leaving us behind. Then she looked at the fridge and a cold reality set in. 

I backed away from the scribbled note then ran into my room as my Mom reburied her head. My blood boiled inside me like lava and my heart beat like pounding fists on my ribcage. I screamed, loud, furious, bursting screams. Repeatedly, I punched the walls of our small apartment ignoring the intense, swelling pain to focused on the overwhelming red anger inside of me. A back stabbing heartless betrayal flooded my thoughts. He left me a b*****d child, a fatherless son, a confused kid in an ever confusing world. He left me to rot from within. He left me to drown. He left me to die. He left me.

My Mom didn't talk for days. She even took off work and lived silently on the couch occasionally getting up every few hours for necessity reasons. So I cooked dinner every night, I cleaned up around the house, I gave her a pillow and blanket to sleep with, I turned on her favorite shows, I told her we were going to be okay, I told myself we were going to be okay and I learned that it only took one morning to change a boy into a man and a woman into a mess.

I dropped my fork to my plate with a crash as the chair flew out from behind me. My Mom jumped in surprise as I slammed the door to my room. Falling to my bed, I screamed as loud as I could into my pillow just like the day he left. I smacked my radio making music blare loudly through the room. Tears smeared my eyeliner into the pillow while my Mom went to dig through the drawer in her room. See, we both found ways to escape from the world but the world had a pretty funny way of finding us.

"You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today."

Abraham Lincoln