Chapter one.

     I woke up, glanced at my clock, and sighed; six o’ clock in the morning, Time to get up for school. I rolled over and fell face first into the floor, and after a while I rose to my feet, dizzy from the intense hangover. “Damn Mondays…” I muttered to myself. I ran a brush through my dull, thinning hair, a few pieces falling out here and there. “Damn eating disorders…” I tossed my brush onto the bathroom counter with frustration, making it echo throughout the barren room. I winced at the excruciating noise. “Damn hangovers…” I turned the water on in the shower and shut the door, my head pounding at the sound of the water, making my headache worse. I stripped down and stood in front of the mirror. I looked myself over. My hair was dull and thin. My face was sunken in. My cheekbones were bulging out a bit. My eyes unwillingly drifted lower. I glared at the fat chubby body in the mirror. “Damn monster…you don’t deserve to live!” I screamed at the beast in the mirror; it looked pissed. I punched the thing as hard as I possibly could, right in the nose. The image shattered with a deafening sound. I cringed as my knuckles bled relentlessly. I growled at where the image once was, and then stepped into the shower; the water was warm, but it wasn’t enough. I needed it hotter; hotter; hotter! I cranked it up as hot as I could take it. I clenched and ground my teeth as the scalding hot water turned my tan skin red.

 

 

     I stood there for an hour, silent and unmoving as a million thoughts raced through my head at once, unable to sort them out. I exhaled a deep breath into the steamy air, and then stepped over the tub to dry myself off. I grabbed my towel from the counter and wrapped it around me as I walked out of the bathroom. I glanced at my sister’s bed; she’s at school. I looked at our bed; my mom had left. With a relieved sigh I dropped the towel, and wandered into my closet in search of something clean and decent to wear. As I pawed through the limited clothing items I began to get cold, so I just snatched some clothes. I pulled on a pair of boxers, sweatpants, and my Insane Clown Posse jersey. After that I shuffled off to the kitchen for my “breakfast”. I scanned the cupboards. “Where is it…?” I murmured to myself, and alas I found it. Hiding behind a couple bottles of gin and tequila was my vodka. I hastily grabbed the bottle of absolute vodka from the shelf and opened it, grinning at the sound of the seal breaking. I gulped down the strong liquid, and then once it was about a third gone, I set it down onto the counter. I stood there a moment as it began to kick in. All thoughts and worries were gone; I was wide awake now. I looked over at the clock; seven twenty. I had twelve minutes, and in the mean time I might as well do what I do best. I went into my room, grabbed my California Chronic, rolled a blunt, and smoked it. As I stumbled my way out of my room I made my way to the kitchen. Slowly but surely I made it there. Once I had arrived I grabbed a water bottle and filled it to the top with vodka. I capped it, and then looked at the clock once more; seven thirty. “Perfect timing.” I popped my pills, grabbed my water bottle, and then walked out of my apartment after putting my shoes on. I very slowly wobbled my way my bus stop, hitting a few parked cars in the process. Once I got there my bus was already there, so I uneasily climbed aboard and stumbled my way down the aisle to the back of the bus. I blanked out for the whole ride to school; unaware of what was happening around me.

 

 

     Throughout the school day I was zoning in and out, unable to understand what we were learning. In my very last class at the end of the day I sat there, staring at the clock, until, finally, it rang. I got up, grabbed my almost empty water bottle, and ran [as best as I could manage] to the busses. As soon as I got home I gulped down the last of my vodka from the water bottle. After I finished it, I stood as still as possible; I knew this feeling all too well. “Ah s**t...” I stumbled my way to the bathroom and dropped to my knees. My body recoiled as I hurled, my body cringing and trembling; I grew dizzy. I took slow, deep breaths as I tried my hardest not to, but the feeling enveloped my body; I couldn’t move. My mind; I couldn’t think. My soul; I blacked out…

Reviews

[Calypso]

This was intresrting. I wish there was more to read.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This is too intense. It is a sign of strength to get help. Hopefully someone will learn from your story.