August first:
Today I went to the doctors to check out the gender of my baby. Guess what? I’m having a girl! I’m super duper excited. I can’t wait till I have her. I love her so much. I may not know who she is or what she looks like, but I know she will be the best daughter anyone could ever want. I hope things go smoothly for us. I wonder if my Mama will help support me. Will I have to drop out of school to take care of her? Will I be able to pick out a name for her? What if I can’t think of a good enough name? What if she doesn’t like me? What if she runs away? What if she resents me? Oh, Dios, y si ella no me quiere, que debo hacer? Y si ella resulta, como su Padre? Oh, Dios, estoy muy nervioso. Calmate, Jamie, las cosas saldran muy bien. Just take a deep breath and you’ll be fine. Everything will work out. I’m going to go take a shower. Talk to you later journal. Adios!
August first (9:49 a.m.):
I forgot that today was Saturday. That means that I can’t eat till Monday. I really don’t like waiting that long to eat. I get really dizzy. I wish my Mama would buy some food for once. Even when she does she doesn’t let me eat. (Hence my eating disorders.) Bleh. I still have ten more minutes to waist. Hmm. What to do. What to do. I think I’m going to go outside in a little bit. Maybe sit in a tree. Draw a picture. Write a poem or two. We’ll just see what happens, but till it is ten I am stuck inside for some reason. I don’t even know why I’m in here till ten. Well, then why not go out right now? I don’t want to. I’m comfort table where I am. Well, why are you complaining? I always have to complain over something. I get from my sister. Even though she is older than me she acts like she’s eight. She doesn’t go outside anymore. She just sits on the couch, eating her life away, which is why I don’t get how she’s not fat. Blah, blah, blah. I guess I’m going to head outside to write and draw a few things seems I don’t have a computer, bye.
August first (3:17 p.m.):
Today was so fun. After I went outside I got to go to the store with my friend. We got each other gifts. It was funny, I got her a whip and she got me a collar. It was hilarious. We laughed so hard that our stomachs started to hurt. Man, I haven’t laughed that hard in so long. Sad part is I might not get to see her in a few months or so. I’m going to miss her. I really hope she doesn’t move. If she does I will cry so hard. But, when we got home her and I were still laughing and so we laid in her bed once we stopped, and we just stared at the ceiling, pondering the future and talking about the past and sharing everything we have ever been through. I swear, she is the only person who knows everything about me, and has helped me through what I have been through. Well, we’re going to go out to get some food. Later!