Out With The Old

Basically this is meant for you to think about society and it ending, do you think there will be a big Thing to end it or do yout think that we will just die off?

 

I hear the tears of a mother, they are deep and mournful almost like the song of a swan. The only difference is her tears reminded me of a person choking on a spoon full of truth watered down with well placed lies. I can't identify this woman. She is like a shadow behind a screen featureless and morbid I want to shut her up and tell her that everything will be alright, but I can't, I can't lie to her anymore. Everything in life has a time and season. It was only time the fat lady sang the last resounding note that echoed through the halls of life and our season ended. It wasn't an all of the sudden ending. It was a gradual ending that ate away at the structure of life and revealed the bones of people. I sit in a dark room filled with hundreds if not thousands even millions of people on a dirt floor waiting for him. You need not know his name but He will be the last person you meet. He will be the last person to hold my worn out hands and push me off the cliff I'd been looking over for days. The air stinks of a rancid smell. That smells sort of like s**t and decaying bodies. The Mother I hear crying is not the only Mother, or person that has cried and mourned bitterly. I cried too, although my tears were insignificant to them. I beat on the smooth earthen walls too. Alas all it did was bloody my fists and I broke my thumb. My clothes hang off my body like drapes, I know its not much longer till he comes. I cannot barely open my eyes. The last time I saw my parents I was angry, angry they wouldn’t let me have some materialistic item that I now realized I did not need. I would give anything for my Mom to hold me as I waited for him to come. To help me be brave as He took me off, I would give anything to hold her hand and have her tell me she loved me and that I would not be just another Sue who died. After I died the cannibals would eat me. They ate almost everyone who died except the sick ones, they threw them in a corner. We didn't matter anymore, we the people trapped in the box with earthen walls hundreds of feet deep. They threw us into the box, them ,The People. We The Oldies had to go, we were too filled with old ideas, anger and beliefs that would destroy their new community. We were to flawed and imperfect so they got rid of us they trapped a lot of us in boxes like this all over the world. Waiting till each person died, monsters. The people we watched on telivision, the ones who smiled at us promised to protect us and swore nothing bad would happen to us did this, they lied. My heart flutters erratically like a little humming bird. My hair is in tangles and face has dirt in every crevice. It's hard to believe I was ever beautiful. No doubt they will make sure new compliant life lives out there. Shells of the human spirit. Yes Mans that ensure the wealth and power stay where they want it, in their pockets. The People will be beautiful and glamourous, they will not think for themselves. They will never get sick and will never fight. It will be like a world of walls ruled by three men and Drones. One day maybe someone will hear my voice and understand what I'm saying... maybe one day, my eyes swell with tears, maybe one day The People will start to think for themselves again and bring us The oldies back to life... I think I see him, He is so beautiful.... I see them my Mother... They call for me, I will not hesitate to step over the cliff I stand on when I look over the cliff instead of seeing a perilous tragic ending, I see all I have ever loved and wanted waiting for me, Good bye to you beautiful creature live on.

“The recording stopped!” A small girl said impatiently tapping the old CD player.

“I know, but this means we are it, we are the last of The Oldies,”

Author's Note

ERRRR... lol just kidding I wrote this on my laptop which is ALL messed up. I am now used to writng stuff ( mostly slash) on my ipod which is just typing! But i kinda want to get back on this so please ignotr the spacing problem my enter and indent key are broken :( i will have to fix this later :(

Reviews

[Euphemius]

I think this is good so far! :D Even though I was a little confused, ahha...perhaps you could try organizing your thoughts so that your sentences don't go all over the place and talk about all sorts of different things, because sometimes they didn't quite click together and didn't produce that obvious of a flow.
I liked how you used metaphors to produce imagery in the reader's mind, though I think maybe you could watch some of them, because a few are a bit wordy. Maybe you could split up what you have so far into paragraphs to make it a little easier on the eyes for your audience to read?
Anyway, good job!

[Kenzie Morg]

This is really good! Kudos, Ariel. When the time is right for you, message me about a collab.