Longing

Who can be the mistress of the allusive dream master.

 A/N: Well haha dang my first story in a while I built this off of some recent dreams and my wishese to escape into  my fantasies and how close but so far away my fears desires and realities are. This is an overall allusion to my life... not that I'm an adult that sits in a loft smoking marlboros. That is far off, but sometimes I feel like one, ENJOY

Cigarette smoke curls from the end of crumbling paper dissipating into the darkness of my apartment. I sit on a bar stool. The cold metal presses against my thighs reminding me of how damn alive I am, how much pain I'm in right now.

It's invigorating; pain, in an uncouth, uncut sort of way. It slices into your chest and attaches strings to your heart, then plays it. It reminds you that time must go on. That you are not the only entity selfishly hogging your dream to yourself. Selfishly trying to create what you couldn't have.

I take another puff sharply inhaling this time making sure my eyes sting and my lungs burn. I let the lone tear slip down my skin, it's hot and wet.

"My mother told me it's in our nature to want what we can't have,"

There is a silence in the room broken by the rustling of sheets.

"I, ugh, I always have been a dreamer though. Forging bridges, wishing, casting my lots,"

The rustling of clothes and the clearing of a throat grace my ears.

"Only a fool thinks they can have the world, a gift from the Gods should never be harnessed by wants,"

I wistfully stare out the window avoiding eyes. I feel the knot building up in my throat and it takes everything I have not to cry.

Red lipstick stains the top of the filter, contrasting the starched paper. The city lights amalgamate together and my vision blurs.

"You said you wouldn't cry,"

I tuck a leg underneath me enjoying the extra pressure that grounds me.

“I’m not crying," I lie, because the tears rolling down my face are mine.

"You are," he responds nonchalantly.

"Maybe I am," The words come out fast and sharp.

"I warned you this would happen," I nod curtly.

“I just wanted to be close to someone who could help me escape reality, for a while," the last part comes out quiet.

"Sorry but bliss is short lived,"

He laughed and then was gone.

He had dissipated like my cigarette smoke, leaving me to the hard realization of reality; hoping he would one day crawl into my bed again.

Author's Note

PLease review if you read thx

Reviews

[The Valerian Legion]

This leaves me a bitter taste in my mouth. There is a hopelessness there that echoes in your words of the story. I find it difficult to read perhaps I am projecting my memories of how I use to view the world with a sense of hopelessness and empty longing. The spirit of this seems haunting and tortured. It reminds me of how my close friend talked about her first and last one night stand...and how it tortured her heart. If there is anything I can say you might want space between the sentences its easier to read that way.

[Bexfinch]

Haha thank you I am at a hopless stage in my life where Im tired always and I just feel like I want to be happy but. The happiness eludes me

[M.K. JOSEPH]

long time i have not been to the site, and when i return this is what i find? Wow! thank you very much for reminding me what i have been missing. beautiful, creative, well written. Keep it up

[Satan's Daughter]

I love the imagery at the beginning and I agree with FrantzoU, you should consider making it longer. The pain is almost palpable and your words made me feel as if it where my own. The picture fits to a tee. Nicely written and please keep it up.

[Bexfinch]

Thank you , I started on a new chapter about a business lady losing her job. and having to learn to make her own happiness.

[Frantzuu]

I love the descriptions at the beginning. They are very poetic. This story has potential, make it longer!!