The Frozen Girl of Canada Eh

This is a story about this girl who was posing for a picture, but then she got frozen to the road.

Jessica Satire was about 17 years old.  She was a photography student in Mr. Supert's class.  Mr. Supert told the students that they had to do a photo of them in a street of their choice, but has to appeal to winter in the city. 

Jessica thought it would gain some extra browny points if she went back to her own home town of Toronto, Canada to shoot a picture in the oldest street.  She took her friend, Ashly Perkins and drove a few miles west to Toronto.  Now, this is just when the snow was falling.  There were small pockets of snow on the ground, but the worst has not hit the city yet.  They drove around for hours, but could not find a street that appealed to Jessica, until she found Mounties Boulevard. 

Mounties Boulevard is one of the oldest streets of Toronto Canada, but before the renaming of it, it was called King James Road.

This road has a lot of history.  There was a battle on this road.  The British from the south and the French from the east came and fought for this small city.  Toronto was rich with what they thought was gold, however, it all turned out to be fools gold, Iron Pyrite.

So, the two armies fought, nearly whiping each other out, until, according to legend, an old man came into the town and dug up a nugget.  He brought both commanders from each army and showed them that the gold was just fools gold.

The French commander, Henry Dejounaire was furious, and he threatened to kill the old coot.  However, the British commander wanted to kill him first, so they ordered what was left of each army to fight to see who would kill the old man.  Somehow, the old man escaped, and both armies whiped each other out any ways.

Of course the story is just a legend, nobody knows if it is true, however Jessica wants to get some browny points for taking a picture on the street of the famed, Fools Gold Battle of 1783.  So, the two girls stopped on the reported sight where the two armies brutally destroyed each other.  Jessica made a pose like she was picking up some gold, and Ashley flashed the picture.

"Got it!" Ashley said happily.

Jessica started to get up, however, her right hand was stuck in the snow. 

"What the heck?" asked Jessica in disbelief as she tried to pull her hand out of the ice and snow.  "I cannot get my hand free!"

"Are you kidding me?" asked Ashley thinking that this is some stupid joke.  "You can get up, come on time is wasting.  We have to get back to our homes, or our parents are going to kill us!"

"Ashley," exclaimed Jessica, "I cannot get my hand out!  It is really stuck!!"

Ashley came over and pulled on Jessica's hand, but truth behold, it was frozen to the ground.  Jessica started to cry.

"Help!" yelled Ashey to some crossing walkers.

The two came over and tried to help her, but it was no use.  So the two walkers called the Canadian 911.  Soon, an ambulance came and poured some warm water onto the girl's hand, but to no avail, Jessica still could not remove her hand, and the water quickly turned to ice.  They tried again, but still it got the same results. 

Nothing could be done to help Jessica.  Her parents came and were stunned.

"We might have to cut out the road around her hand," said one of the paramedics to Jessica's parents.

Jessica's parents weren't exactly optomistic about having the road around her hand cut out, however, what choice did they have?  So, the road crews were called and they jack hammered around Jessica's hand.  However, through all the jack hammering, there was nothing that could have been done.  Her hand was still miraculously stuck.  The road crews were stunned and as equally stunned as everyone else.

"Well," said the road crewman, "there is nothing else we can do to help, without her losing her hand."

"How about we close off the street and make a little shelter around her?" asked one of the paramedics.

"The would do it, and wait for Spring for it to thaw," replied the road crewman.

So, they made a makeshift shelter around Jessica.  It was just a tent, and they closed off the road.

The months went by, but Ashley, Jessica's friend was able to turn in her work.  Mr. Supert gave Jessica an A, and the school sent homework to Jessica.  She could only write with one hand, but luckily, Jessica was left handed. 

Now, by the time of January, more than a month when the incident occured, Jessica was getting internation attention.  News people as far east as Japan came and interview Jessica and got pictures of the famed, "Girl with Hand Stuck in Road."  She even got a visit from the president of the United States, Canada, Britian and many other countries.

However, March came and the snows melted away and the street was once again a black top.  However, Jessica still could not get her hand free.  Then, one old man came up, examined her hand and found that Jessica's middle finger was stuck in a small hole that consisted of gold.  So, the paramedics came by, buttered her finger up, and pulled it out.    The road workers found out that the street was built on a long patch of gold, and somehow a small ring shaped part came up and that is how she was stuck. 

Toronto awareded Jessica with a big nugget, with the ring shape she was stuck in.  However, a year later, the same old man that helped Jessica out said that the gold was actually a long patch of fools gold.  And Lord behold, it was the same gold that the British and French fought over.

 

THE END.

Author's Note

The moral of this story is, do not fight for what you want, because it could just be a big waste of time. BECAUSE OLD PEOPLE ARE NOTORIOUS FOR MAKING WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS A GOOD THING INTO A WORTHLESS THING!! DARN OLD PEOPLE GO BACK TO THE NURSING HOME!!!!
Just kidding. HONOR YOUR ELDERS OR GOD WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN WITH A NUGGET OF FOOLS GOLD!! BRUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!