Shadow Raider

 

"Welcome, Lieutenant Goodykoontz." A man at a desk turned around and looked at the man in front of him, Lieutenant Steven Goodykoontz. Goodykoontz is a tall man, about 6’ 5’’, he is medium muscular, but have strong upper and lower body strength. His family consists of only one child. The child is in Boston and was placed into foster care, because he was made to go into the war.

"Mr. Goodykoontz? Are you okay?" again said the man behind the desk. His face was a face of worry, but yet his face still, even though aged, was still macho-man like features.

"Yes? Sorry, I was just thinking. Thanks for having me here, sir."

"You’re quite welcome. Do you know why you are here?"

"Yes I do sir," replied Lieutenant Goodykoontz. His face changed to a more, inquisitive kind of face. His left eyebrow rose up and he had a little smirk on his face.

"I see that you are quite the fighter, Lieutenant. I do like your resume`," said the man. "Your superior, General Pennington, advised me of your talents and your skills. I do enjoy reading all of your mission reports, and I must say that I have never seen such marksmanship, stealth, and cunningness from any warrior, and even any commander I ever evaluated or encountered."

Lieutenant Goodykoontz had a very prideful stance. He lightly puffed out his chest and stood a little more erect.

"I would be honored if you work for us. Would you like to, Lieutenant?"

Lieutenant Goodykoontz relaxed himself and let out a sigh. He did not know what to do, because he has a little bit of a paranoid feeling. Later though, he overcame this fear and he looked at the man at the desk, straight in the face, eye to eye and said, "Sir, I would be honored to work for you, but what is it in it for me?"

"Lieutenant, you will be rewarded handsomely for this service of yours. You will be paid $100,000 for each mission that you complete, and $50,000 for danger pay, and you will be paid on leave. This is a great deal, and I believe that you will go right to the top easily with your talents and skills."

"Sir, I agree with your terms," said Lieutenant Goodykoontz. He lifted his hand to his chin and he rubbed his chin. He came upon the inquisitive look again.

"So, when do I start?"

A man walked in. He was wearing a black suit and tie. He had the features of an Asian man, but he was American Asian. He wore the tag on his right breast spelling out his name, Major Gerald Shangri.

"Lieutenant Goodykoontz, this is Major Gerald Shangri," said the man as he arose and drifted his hand toward the Major. Steven Goodykoontz shook the Major’s hand. The Major looked at Goodykoontz with very macho looking face, and very robust look, kind of like a look that a man standing at attention would act, however, his handshake was kind of weak.

"How do you do, Major?" asked the inquisitive Lieutenant Goodykoontz.

"I am fine, sir. If you follow me this way, I can show you to your commander." The Major pointed a way through a narrow corridor that was lightly lit, but had enough light to see where you were going. At the end of the corridor was a single door, a little rust diseased it, though.

The two men walked down the corridor, not looking at each other, but once Lieutenant Goodykoontz looked over to the Major and tried to give him a little smile, but the Major, how macho he was, never looked back, instead he just walked forward.

The Major opened the corridor and guided the Lieutenant in. Inside, was a nicely lit room, in fact, it was luxurious. Beautiful white walls, pedestals around the fireplace on the left magnified the room, making it look like an ancient Roman theme. There were chairs sitting around a desk with a man at it.

Lieutenant Goodykoontz walked in, but the Major left him and shut the corridor behind him. Lieutenant Goodykoontz walked up to the desk slowly, with wonder and awe at the beauty of the room.

"Ah, Lieutenant Steven Goodykoontz," said the man sitting up in his desk, but with a little laid back arch in his back. The man had a coffee cup on the side of his desk and the sign on his desk had the name in scripted in it spelling Paul George, ADOC Coordinator.

"Please have a seat Lieutenant."

Lieutenant Goodykoontz sat at the man’s desk, still looking around.

"Coffee?" asked Paul George

"Thanks."

Paul George poured him a cup of black coffee into a cup.

"Welcome to the American Department Of Covert Operations or as we call it, ADOC. I have heard some good things about you."

"Yes," said the awed Lieutenant. "The man in the other room already told me that."

"What man?" asked Paul George with a fake worrisome look in his face.

"The man out there, you know, he had an assistant with him, the Major!"

"Go ahead and look," replied Paul George, "there is nothing out there, except a waiting room in the lobby."

Lieutenant Goodykoontz got up and went to the door and opened it. He was stunned with shock when he saw that it really was a door to a lobby.

"Nifty, huh?" asked Paul.

"Yes, very. How did you do that? Interactive hologram?"

"Precisely. Our weapon analyst, Roy Randolph is the one who put this all together." said Paul, right now; he was looking a little peachy. "We do that trick to all of our new recruits."

Steven Goodykoontz looked back at him, closing the door and had a relieved look on his face.

"Well, my compliments to you and your weapon analyst, sir." said Steven Goodykoontz

"You are very welcome," said a man, seemingly out of nowhere popped his head out of a door on the sidewall. Paul expected this, because it happens a lot, but to Steven Goodykoontz, it seemed a little too complicated.

"Ah, may I introduce to you our very own weapon analyst, Roy Randolph, but we all call him Roy," said Paul.

Steven Goodykoontz shook Roy’s hand and smiled.

"I was kind of startled to see you in such a surprising manner. Plus, for an old timer, ‘70 style clothing, and a haircut looking like a rat, really make you seem like a superman," said Steven Goodykoontz, jokingly. He usually does this to new people.

"Thanks, but you are only as old as you feel. I only feel about 45 when I am 65. Neat what some pills can do for you," he replied.

"Is this the new rookie?" asked a man. Steven looked over his shoulder to a fairly average man. He was about 5’ 11’’, 230 pounds. He was wearing a blue button up and a pair of blue jeans.

"Why yes this is, Agent Todd," replied Paul. "Steven, this is Agent Todd Dalton, but we call him ‘T’ All of the agents here have letters. Right here, Steven is my finest Agent. He has been with ADOC for about four years now, and he has yet to lose a step."

Steven shook his hand. "Pleased to meet you, ‘T’," said Steven.

"I am also pleased to meet you, as well. I have heard some very good things about you when you were in the Army, Lieutenant," replied ‘T’.

Seven more men walked in. They all wore not very standing out kind of clothing, but clothing that made them look like a regular civilian.

"Ah, all of the agents are here," said Paul. Paul pointed to a man to the far left. "May I introduce ‘T’s brother, Nathan Dalton, or ‘N’. He pointed to a man next to ‘N’. "This is Agent Dustin Kellogg, we call him, ‘D’." He then turned his attention to a man to the right of ‘D’. "This man is Gilbert Bazan, but we call him ‘G’.

Chad Wilson, ‘C’ was pointed out next, then Mike Henson, or ‘M’, and Bob Elson, or ‘B’. Andy Davis, or ‘A’ was next. Then last was Gary Dalton or ‘GD’.

"Your letter," said Paul, "is ‘S’.

"Welcome to ADOC," said Todd. "Today, you will be working with me in the field."

"Where are we going?"

"We are going to Chad."

"Yes, Chad" said Paul.

The agents left the room, except for ‘T’ and ‘S’.

"Agents, the Chad government has informed the president that they are unable to contain an uranium smuggling tycoon from making nuclear weapon upon their soil," said Paul.

"Why don’t the president send our special troops over there to stop them?" asked ‘S’.

"Because Chad is afraid of being blamed for a nuclear missile hitting the USA," replied ’T’. "The two leaders have agreed that no military action will take place, until the tycoon Aaron Smelser is killed and that all of his henchmen are eliminated."

"That is correct," said Paul. Paul pressed a button that let down a screen at the left wall of the room with the Chad map on it the room lights dimmed. A red dot appeared.

"That red dot, is where your drop off point is. Our C-47’s will fly over your drop off point, where you will have to trek with a dune buggy to this point." Paul pointed to a green dot that was on and around Lake Chad. "This point is where the tycoon Aaron Smelser is hiding out and carrying out his work. What you gentlemen will do, is neutralize the nuclear reactors and then destroy the base and all of its leader workers and Aaron Smelser. But, you will not have any civilian casualties, unless they attack you first. We do not want Chad to accuse us of murder."

"Now, what is on the perimeter of the facility?" asked ‘T’

"The perimeter is heavily guarded by Smelser’s personal sentries, and troops. Our satellites have seemed to pick up an opening in the defense," said Paul. A satellite image of the facility came upon the screen. Paul pointed to the opening. It was about twenty feet in area.

"Now, this opening is a ventilation shaft. What you agents will do is drive your dune buggy to about a mile away from the intended target," said Paul as he pointed out the way with a yardstick. "You guys will then have to trek to the opening and use guard disguises. Roy will present the disguises to you. Now, we believe that the ventilation shaft may take you to some area in the facility. One of our insider operatives, which was killed in line of duty when gathering this information, mapped out this photo of the insides of the facility."

The screen changed to a drawing. The drawing showed a line where the vent was going into the facility into a large room at the end. There were bars at the front and the end of the vent. At the end of the vent was a floor that overlooked the twenty nuclear reactor cores and missiles. Above the missiles was an office.

"This is a detailed map of the facility," said Paul. "What you will do is go through this vent and end up at the end on this landing over looking the missiles and reactor cores. Above the missiles is the office of Aaron Smelser."

"Sir," asked ‘S’, "who will pull the trigger?"

"‘T’ will. He will use a Dragunov to kill him," replied Paul. "Agents, you two will report to Roy for suit up and equipment assignment. Have any questions?" Paul looked at the men, first looking at ‘S’, then looking at ‘T’. "Well then, you two are dismissed. Now you will report to Roy."

***

"Welcome Agent Todd, Agent Steven," said Roy behind one of his weapon shelves. The room that Roy possessed was a room full of equipment. Some of the equipment was from when he first started, rejects, and most were ones that he creates. "I have some equipment for you." Roy went over to one of his weapon shelves and got a Dragunov.
"Her, Agent Todd, this gun will assure you a kill," said Roy as he handed him the gun. "Plus, a silencer. Now, agents, depending on the conditions of the Sahara Desert, and the facility drawing, it seems you will need a repel gadget and I have such an object for you two." Roy went over to a shelf and picked up two repel guns. The repel guns looked like any ordinary guns, but at the end it had a hook-like device at the end.

"This gun can only handle one person. Anymore may break it," said Roy.

Roy picked his pocket and got two more guns out.

"You are full of surprises aren’t you Roy?" asked ‘T’ jokingly.

"Why yes, Todd, I always carry an AK-47 in my pocket," Roy replied. "Here are your sleeping dart guns. This will knock out your enemies for a few hours, but you must us it sparingly and it has a short range of shot." He handed both agents the guns. "Now, you may pick out one weapon from this shelve, but do please be careful, I have seen many agents get hurt when they decided to play cops and robbers. Especially you Todd!"

The agents smiled, especially Todd, because he has a history of being that kind of person. The two agents went over to the shelve and got each one gun. ‘T’ picked up a MP35 with sixty clips and ‘S’ picked up a Spas 12 with 3 shell straps that contained about twenty in each loop.

"You two have gotten your equipment," said Roy, "now you will have to get your stealth suits on. Come this way please."

The three men walked through a corridor that was just a few feet in front of the weapon shelves. Roy showed them in and shut the door behind them.

"Agents, may I introduce you to the state-of-the-art stealth suits," said Roy. "These suits can fit anyone, fat, skinny, small, tall, or whatever. These suits have many pockets that you can put weapons, knives, which the knives are already in the suit, and a gun holster with a gun in it. Next to these suits are thermal vision goggles, and see in the dark goggles built in. These suits have a back holsters for your main weapons, just reach over and get them. They also have boots, which are comfortable, steel toed, and yet silent enough so you will not be detected. Last, but not least, your gloves. They are braided with friction causing material that will not let you lose your grip on your gun, and you will leave no evidence. Now, suit up guys in the dressing rooms."

The two agents went to the rooms. "How many missions have you been on, ‘T’? asked ‘S’ while they were dressing.

"Why, buddy?"

"Because I just want to know if you really are experienced."

"I have been on about 300 missions."

"Any close calls?"

"Many."

"Tell me about one."

"On one, I was in Mongolia, defeating an onyx tycoon, which wanted to use those precious gems to sell. He sold them with detonators, and sold them to many companies, mostly around Europe, like Germany, Denmark, and Russia. There were only a few US bombings of the sort. Well, when I infiltrated the barracks, a sniper spotted me and I almost got shot."

"That is one heck of a close call, ‘T’," replied ‘S’ stunned and amazed.

"Look, buddy, you do not have to call me by my letter name, just call me Todd, all right?" suggested Todd.

"Sure, Todd, whatever you want you are the boss," replied Steven.

For the rest of the time they got dressed, they did not speak to each other. The two men both realized that the mission has some dangers in it, but only Steven had doubts about this one. He was not use to this kind of work. He never has been outnumbered by this way. He was use to being outnumbered just a little bit.

On the other hand, Todd was use to this. He had been outnumbered by 100, and never got shot. Todd was use to this, and had a lot of experience in the field. Todd could speak in twenty different languages, and he knew very well all the customs from each country. He could easily blend in, and infiltrate Smelser’s facility easily.

"You done buddy?" asked Todd.

"Yes, Todd," replied Steven.
The two agents walked out into Roy’s lab.

"You boys look like a regular spy," complimented Roy.

"Thanks, Roy; you don’t look too bad yourself," joked Steven.

"Quite," replied Roy. "You boys will need this."

Roy handed them a silencer. "This is very important when you are trying to be stealthy."

"Where are we reporting to, Roy?" asked Steven.

"You boys will be reporting to Grissom Air Force Base in Indiana," Roy replied. "You will meet our contact Andy Davis."

"Where do we report to now?"

"Grissom, a helicopter is right outside ready to pick you up."

***

A whirling wind sound filled the air as the two agents walked out of the ADOC building. A black hawk, helicopter laid on the helipad. The wind flapped the wind, almost blowing the two men away.

"WELCOME, AGENT TODD, AGENT STEVEN!" said a man.

"HEY ANDY! HOW’S IT GOING?" yelled Todd.

"NOTHING, JUST COME ON ABOARD."

The two agents got on the helicopter and it took off with a squeal.

"How are you boys doing?" asked Andy.

"Fine, sir," they both said.

"Looks like we have a rookie on our hands," said Andy with a smile.

"Yah, but he has the best resume` that I have ever seen," replied Todd.

"How long does it take to get to Grissom?" asked Steven.

"About a three hours. Since we are in Missouri, and we are going against the earth’s rotation, it will take a little while to get to Grissom. It will take even longer to Chad," replied Todd.

On the helicopter, there is a computer monitor with a series of servers. The monitor flashed on and Paul came on.

"Agents, I have some news for you," said Paul as the monitor buzzed into life. The Mauritania, Mali, and Niger have opened up their airspace for us. So you can rest assured that you will not be shot down at 25,000 feet. That is all. I will come in contact with you when you are over the Atlantic. Any questions?"

The two men shook their heads and the monitor buzzed off.

A few hours later, the helicopter landed at Grissom.

"We are here," said Todd as he awoke Steven. As Steven awoke, he made out one last snore. The two men walked off the black hawk and met up with Andy.

"Boys, here is your C-47. Grab a parachute and get on," said Andy.

Andy, Steven, and Todd hopped on the plane as the plane started. The two men sat on a seat on the side. When five minutes elapsed, the C-47 took off into the sky.

It was about three hours to get over the Atlantic. When they were over it, a computer monitor buzzed and came a familiar face of Paul.

"Good evening Agents. I will go over your objectives," said Paul as the agents were glued to the screen. "Now, you men will be dropped off about 25,000 feet along with your dune buggy. You will have to keep your dune buggy in sight. After that, you will have to use your night vision goggles to locate the facility. You two must use the utmost stealth to infiltrate the facility. Plus, you will have to wear a cloak and a turbine in order to get in. When you both are inside of the tube, you must strip and you must only be in your stealth suit. Remember, kill Smelser and neutralize the uranium cartridges and get them out. Kill all of his henchmen and only kill the workers if they attack you. And agents make sure you blow up the missiles. The missiles are not armed, so it will be easy to get out of there without being killed. Understand?"

Both of the men nodded their heads.

"Good," said Paul. "Any questions?"

Both men shook their heads.

"Good, be safe gentlemen."

The monitor buzzed off.

***

"Five minutes until drop off!" yelled the pilot.

"Okay agents," said Andy to the Arabian dressed agents, "you will drop off soon. Make sure you keep your dune buggy in sight."

"Yes, sir," said Todd.

"Yes, sir," said Steven.

"Are you ready, buddy?" asked Todd to the anxiety crazed Steven.

"Yes."

"We are almost ready to drop off! Ever do this before?"

"Yes, three times!"

"Be careful!"

"Thirty seconds!" yelled the pilot. "Open the hatch!"

Andy pushed a green button and a sliding noise sounded. The back door opened. Air wisped in and almost blew Steven over. Steven looked over the edge and saw only blackness.

"Ten seconds!" yelled the pilot.

"Okay, agents! Be careful! Go, go, go!" yelled Andy.

The agents jumped out after the dune buggy. The dune buggy’s parachute opened and it slowly came down. Steven and Todd opened their parachute and put on their night vision goggles, keeping their eye on the dune buggy.

After the slide down the sky, the agents and the dune buggy safely landed. The agents took their parachutes off and took the one off of the dune buggy.

"Let’s get in, buddy," demanded Todd.

The two agents got in and Todd started the engine and sped off. The air wisped past their turbines and the sand made the ride really bumpy. A monitor on the dune buggy buzzed on.

"Agents," said Paul, "after your mission is complete, proceed to Mali; there you will be picked up to go back to Grissom."

"Affirmative," said Todd.

The monitor buzzed off. It was about five minutes until they saw the lights of the facility shining in the night sky. Todd stopped. The two agents got out and walked to the facility. When they got there, two Chad guards met them. Todd could speak perfect Chad, so it was easy for him to speak to them.

"Who are you?" asked one of the guards.

"We are scouts that were ordered to go and search for intruders," replied Todd.

"Tell us your report and we will report it to Smelser," demanded the guard.

"No, we have specific orders to report to him immediately," he replied.

"I will have to check it with my superior."

The agents were scared. They broke the guards’ necks and ran to the vent. Nobody had seen them run into the vent. The vent was 10x10. They easily fit through the opening. Todd went first and slid down until he came to a shop in front of a landing. Steven came next and stopped next to Todd.

"I see the missiles," whispered Todd.

"I do, too," replied Steven.

There was a ladder going down to the missile silo. The cartridges with the uranium were on a table next to them. Three scientists in white coats were putting them together. There were only three guards present. The guards were not paying attention when Todd shot them all with a silenced bullet.

"Got them," said Todd.

Todd took off his cloak and turbine and showed his stealth suit. Steven did the same.

"Okay, Steven you go and take out those scientists and I will take care of Smelser," said Todd.

"Yes, sir," Steven repeated.

Steven stealthily walked down the ladder. Steven took out his sleeper dart gun and shot one of the scientists, but then a guard came in and noticed Todd. Steven saw this.

"Todd, get down!" he yelled.

The scientists looked at Steven and the fallen scientist and ran out of the room. Smelser in his room heard the commotion and ran out of his door with his henchmen.

"Todd! Get down!" Steven yelled again.

Todd looked at Steven as he got shot in the arm right in the shoulder, then in his leg hitting in his femur, and then he got shot in the side, hitting one of his ribs, barely missing his heart. Todd fell backwards in pain as Steven shot the guard in the head.

"Todd! Todd!" yelled Steven.

"Steven, finish your mission!" yelled Todd.

Steven followed his orders and gathered the uranium cartridges and put it into his pouch.

Suddenly, Steven saw a man going up the ladder towards Todd. This man had a muzzle, and was a big strong man. Steven tried shooting him with his Spas 12, but he missed him. Steven ran towards the ladder, but soon broke off when someone shot at him. They missed him, but Steven knew that he could not do anything unless the man is dead. The man shooting at him was a short man with a scar down his face and was using a SIG 552. Steven shot back, but missed because the man ducked behind one of the missiles.

As the big man came up toward Todd, Todd tried to go for his MP35. He tried shooting the man, but the man had a flack jacket on and the bullets could not pierce his armor. He tried shooting him in the face, but his mask was also metal. Todd, in a lot of pain, scooted back towards the vent, but was caught. The man lifted Todd up almost over the bars on the landing. Steven saw this and shot. Steven shot the man in the hand and he dropped Todd on his wound. Todd gave out a terrible scream. Then, the scare-faced man shot at Steven, but missed again.

The big man came down the ladder and was targeting Steven. Steven saw this and did not know what to do. Todd seemed like he could not do anything. So, Steven put things into his own hand. He took out his repel gun and pointed it to the window where Smelser was at. He shot and he was swiftly swung through the window and crashing into a desk.

"Steven, kill Smelser!" yelled Todd. Todd got out his side arm and shot the scare-faced man in the arm, and then the head. The man fell with a scream. The big man saw this and came up the ladder again towards Todd.

Steven searched for Smelser. He went slowly into a corridor and had his Spas 12 pointed in front of him.

As Todd was fighting off pain, he was also fighting the big man. The man was coming closer to Todd and he shot as much as he could. He kept trying to shoot him in the eye, but he was too much in pain to focus that much. Todd tried to shoot again, but his side arm was out of ammunition. He scooted back as far as he could, until he body was all the way inside of the vent. He felt around for a while. Out of desperation, he found his repel gun. As he put it out of his pocket, the big man picked him up, and hurled him over the bar, but before Todd could fall to his death, he shot his repel gun into the big man’s face. The hook smashed through the face armor and smashed his skull. The man fell backwards, thrusting Todd up. Todd pulled himself up to the rafter. Pain shot through his body. When he got to the top, he laid backwards and had a sigh of pain.

Steven still was looking for Smelser. He looked in every corridor. Quietly searching every room. He opened every door with stealth. Darkness fell upon the corridor, and all the while, Steven used his night vision goggles.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a man jumped out at him and grabbed Steven and tried to slit his throat. Steven was trying to fight off the blade, as he was trying to fight off the man. Steven had to do something, so he took his Spas 12 and hit the man with it in the head, knocking the man to the floor. Steven turned around and saw that the man was Aaron Smelser. Smelser did not hesitate to run. He ran down another corridor to the right. So Steven gave chase.

Steven could hear generators running as he came closer to where he thought Smelser ran. He went into the room. The room had a drop off where the generators were. The sound made it hard to concentrate. Suddenly, Smelser attacked Steven and Steven retaliated with a blow to the head with his fist. Smelser fell over. Steven pointed his weapon towards Smelser, but he kicked it away and Smelser picked it up and pointed it right at Steven. Smelser got to his feat and pointed the gun at Steven at point blank range. Steven though about what he could do, he looked around for something to use, but he could find none.

"You are mine spy!" yelled Smelser.

"Not today!!" yelled Steven with anger.

Steven had the best idea. He slowly took out one of the cartridges of uranium and he threw it in Smelser’s face. Smelser fell backwards and dropped the Spas 12. Steven jumped forward, scooping up the gun and shot Smelser in the chest. Smelser fell over the bar, but without Steven giving him a present. Steven put the cartridge into Smelser’s mouth and ran out of the room. He could hear Smelser scream as he got crushed by the giant cogs. Then, the cartridge got destroyed and exploded. Steven ran back into the room, back into the corridor to Smelser’s office. Steven repelled to the other side where, the pain struck Todd was. Steven unhooked his hook and scooped picked up Todd and ran into the vent. He could not get up the incline in the vent, so he shot his repel gun and repelled both him and Todd. He felt the strain on the wire as he sped toward the top. When they reached the top, Steven threw Todd out and made him hit his hurt arm. Steven jumped out as a big cloud of fire came out of the vent, almost hitting him.

Steven helped Todd walk towards a parked half track. He hot wired the vehicle and sped off. He looked behind him and saw the base implode. As he was driving towards Mali, Todd opened him mouth and asked, "Buddy, did we succeed?"

"Yes," replied Steven, "I got him."

Todd then passed out.

***

"How is he?" asked a voice.

"He is doing fine, we have bandaged him up," said a woman voice.

A man’s figure walked toward Todd and sat right next to him on the bed. The man was wearing blue jeans and a navy blue t-shirt.

"Steven," said Todd.

"Yes?" asked Steven.

"Thanks for helping me," Todd replied.

"Don’t mention it."

Todd sat up in his bed with pain and said, "Steven; I really appreciate you as my friend."

Steven looked back and smiled.

"Sit back down big boy," said the nurse, Angel Lippins. "Doctor, get me some water."

"Yes ma’am" said a Puerto Rican doctor named Tina Maldonado.

Steven then walked out.

"Good Job, ‘S’," said Paul

"Thanks," he replied.

"Where are the cartridges?" asked Roy.

"Here you go," Steven replied while handing the cartridges to him.

"Hey, where is the last one?" asked Paul.

"Well, you told me to destroy the base," Steven replied with a little smirk.

"Oh, I see, Smelser could not keep his hand off of you, huh?" asked Paul.

Steven walked out, but once turned around and said, "He was blown to nothing."

Steven walked out to his office. Dustin met him.

"We are working together next time aren’t we?" asked Dustin.

"I hope so, but lets just rest for a while," Steven replied.

Steven then walked off into his office and shut the door behind him.

The End

Reviews

[El Suplexo]

I have to say, this one was kinnda hard to read. I think I understand where you were trying to go, and that wasn't bad, but there were some things that kept me from getting there. With longer stories, you always need to start strong, so you can hook the reader and keep them all the way through, but your first paragraph didn't do that great of a job. Three of the four sentences were all unneeded discription. We don't need to know right of the bat that Lieutenant Steven Goodykoontz has strong upper and lower body strength. Or about his child in Boston, or about the date he was placed in foster care. Sure, this stuff might be important at some point in the story, but not right now. It does nothing for the scene except take away and distract the reader. When you are writing, always look back and ask yourself "Is this important to what is going on right now? Does this make sense for the reader?" and cut out anything and everything that doesn't work. Also, Lieutenant Steven Goodykoontz is quite an . . . interesting name. And maybe it's not a bad one, but I started to dislike it because every . . . single . . . time . . . you had to refer to him by his complete name, something you really don't have to do. The reader isn't stupid. After a couple of times you can call Steven (or even Steve), and the reader will know who you are talking about.