It was still early (not that this would matter). This place was what everyone expected it to be: cold and desolate, yet the slightest sense of hope that it somehow brings you back….every damn day.
This place is St. Valentine’s High School of Latter Day Saints, in truth the name seemed to be the only thing kosher about the place. I was never one to start a scandal and I won’t begin now; it would be too easy.
His name is Joshua Rufious Cyrus Shepherd.
I want you all to understand something about people like dearest Joshua: his is conflicted. Oh yes, a caricature with no characteristic other than unbiasily being held by people. Joshua’s out of lessons quest to understand the world and the forces that dwell within it seem interminable. It would really be quite fascinating if we could watch him grow…
It was a zen thing; getting to St. Valentines early. He compared it to the smoothness of whiskey; the more of it you have, the easier it is to handle it. It was that or end up hallucinating in your bathroom hysterically laughing MAD magazine and sobbing at your grandmother’s picture...
He had found you can adapt your chi to your surroundings even in the most conflicted environments and move on (One may be surprised how far Hindu philosophy would go in a Catholic school)…
Joshua was happy in moments like these.
Students wore uniforms at St. Valentines; nothing Josh hadn’t gotten over already. The school was the only place that sold the school uniforms but none of it seemed to fit Josh correctly: the shirt sleeves always seemed unusually long and the pants always much too big for any average teenager. The key to it all was a decent tie and a good belt. Josh had a perfect black tie (which he argued was a sign of eloquence) and a brand new belt...which unfortunately was too big
Josh was desperately trying to fix his belt and was taken off guard by Aden.
“Its going to be a great day, I can tell” said the almost nauseating voice of Aden. “I was at practice this morning and I broke the record for the 100 meter dash. Coach was still checking his watch after I crossed the line.”
Out of embarrassment and impulse Josh responded “Or…maybe you just dug yourself a hole that you won’t be able to get out of…”
Josh didn’t mean to be negative of course; he just thought his comment reasonable. But Aden’s optimism seemed unwavering. “No man. I can feel it; it’s going to be a great day.”
Josh was never one to bring down a person when he seemed to be basking in hisown personal warmth; and Aden was so innocent at that moment, it seemed Un-American to interrupt it.
“Hey man, seize the day” Josh decided this would be the best thing to say in that moment while still trying to pull up his pants: not too depressing/ not too sarcastic. But those five words seemed to usher in the rest of the students at St. Valentines.
The doors to the hallway opened and the first bus arrived. Everyone spilled into the hall way. Josh loved the morning conversations (that is if he had to choose among the ones that took place throughout the rest of the day). People seemed so desperate to seek the remnants of the day.
“Dude, I saw you on that show last night” said Mark.
Josh instantly raised his eyebrow. “Where did you see me?”
“Dude, you know! That game show! That contestant? You answer the….the….the questions and get the money!” Mark almost seemed to stutter in his excitement.
“Ummm no. That wasn’t me.”
“You sure dude? That guy looked and talked just like you!”
“Sorry Markie. But I would remember if I had gone on a game show.” Josh tried to break the news in the nicest way possible; he tried to convey his thought in the tone so his voice would say ‘let me think….no…’
“Oh dude….” Mark said. He seemed crushed by news that Josh wasn’t on the game show and walked away with his head staring at the floor.
Josh wanted to say something to humor Mark as he gloomily walked away but it wasn’t worth it (mostly because Josh realized that he would have to keep his hands in his pockets to keep his pants up for the rest of the day from falling). Josh was willing to let Mark sulk if he didn’t have to move.
Several moments afterward Josh was congratulating himself for not comforting Mark. Josh thought of the incident as making him stronger in some way, or at least a preemptive strike before the rest of life got to him.
The first period of the day was Health and though the droning of the teacher’s lesson Josh heard:
This is John.
John is a foreman at a construction site and is getting stressed.
John’s heart is beating (blood cells rushing in and out like a hyperactive hurricane).
John is experiencing a heart attack.
It was moments just like this Josh wished he had written a will…at 17. John seemed like a nice enough guy; probably had a loving wife, delightful kids, a white-knuckled father, and a lovely mother. If something like this happens to a nice fellow like John, karma must be in off-balanced. If so, half of New York (and a quarter of Jersey) is experiencing Cardiac arrest at that very moment.
John can barely breathe.
He has just passed out on a hospital table.
John is getting a shock of 30,000 watts sent through his body.
He may just make it.
“See how do we at this age not have heart attacks?” asked Matt in a half interested voice. “I don’t understand.”
“We’re younger. Our hearts are stronger” Kristen abruptly interjected.
It was basically what Josh was about to say, but he decide to disagree with this completely reasonable answer for the sole reason of the student offering the answer: Kristen.
“No, no, no. We have bigger arteries; more blood can get through” Josh countered.
Kristen rolled her eyes “That’s basically what I just said.”
“No. My answer seems to make more sense” argued Josh.
It wasn’t that Josh thought his answer was right. In fact, he knew it was probably wrong. But Kristen and Josh had formed an adversarial relationship. It was an instinctive loathing for each other; each needed to out due the other which led to small scuffles like this one. Josh would go out of his way to try and dispute the girl’s point; even if it meant his argument made no sense…at all.
Josh found himself in his next period, Biology.
Biology seemed too simplistic for its study. The understanding of life should involve more than viruses and bacteria. As Josh so soundly put it “Life Science is about the study of form & function and is too much work; than I suppose love & hate is just for fun?”
Needless to say, his biology teacher wasn’t too fond of him.
Period 3
Religion was too touchy a subject for most. People did grossly detestable things in the name of their god; People died for their religion, people killed for their religion, so Josh thought it appropriate that he would take the subject of religion lightly.
Period 4
English was a tool that Josh loved to use. Dedicating forty-five minutes of his day to study the English language was amazing to him.
Mister Samuel Langhorne Clemens better known as Mark Twain, the epitome of the American spirit, was the author gracing the board of the classroom that day.
“Now what was the Mississippi River suppose to represent in Huck Finn?” asked Mrs. Dickinson.
Half way through the class and it became apparent that out of the twenty kids, only six had read the book. And out of those six only two were willing to answer questions: Josh and Kristen.
And Josh was more than ready to answer anything. “Well on the River, Huck came face-to-face with his own fears. He faced his loneliness and he came to admit to himself he needed a father figure; on the river was the first time his conscience came into play. These feelings things existed already in Huck but he faces them for the first time on the river.” Josh smiled at his own point of view.
Mrs. Dickinson nodded his head “Well done Joshua. Any other ideas?”
Kirsten shot her hand up, and answered before anyone realized she was there “The River was more of a limbo for Huck. He broke away from society there, and learned to live on his own.”
Josh shook his head in disagreement “Live his own Life? He was there with a slave! It wasn’t like he was facing adulthood. Jim acted as a father not a damn Vigil.”
Josh had just realized what he had done. This has happened before: Kristen and him would get into a fair debate, but the moment he started winning she would raise her voice and act as though the big bad Josh was picking on the poor little Kristen.
Even Josh had to admit Kristen was brilliant in her devious nature.
“No, But he learned to live outside southern society and…” shouted the voice of Kristen, now becoming loud and slipping into awful scream.
“Yes, he did but not on the River.”
“I didn’t finish my point!” This time it was more of a bulking cry for help than a statement.
“Mr. Shepherd, watch your tone right now or detention” Mrs. Dickinson intervened. To which Josh could only whisper to himself “Like clockwork.”
“Okay then. Tomorrow we shall be looking into Poe. Hopefully we can remain civil.” The teacher eyed Josh as though she had full intensions of jumping him (the other students couldn’t help but laugh at the whole thing).
“Oh Poe! I love the Raven!” exclaimed the voice of Kristen.
“Oh please. The Raven is overrated” Josh immediately countered, forgetting what the teacher had just demanded.
But the Teacher seemed more excited than angered with dearest Josh. “Well than, what do you prefer Mr. Shepherd?”
Josh was completely taken by surprise by the question but refused to become a deer in the headlights. He thought for a moment, but quickly responded “The Fall of the House of Usher or maybe the Conqueror Worm.”
Mrs. Dickinson raised her eyebrows in what seemed like either pure delight or the beginning of a furious serenade.
But Kirsten refused to be out done. She took stance and responded “Well I like his works on Annabel Lee and Sleepy Hallow.”
Josh was amazed this had just happened. His mind raced, thinking over everything she had just said; yes, it had just happened. Kristen had just made a clear-cut mistake in front of himself, their teacher, and the whole class. Josh had to expose her, he had to have revenge!
But as this thought was aroused in his mind, so was another: have mercy. She is human, she makes mistakes. Maybe you can show respect for her by not saying anything and letting the statement pass. Then you are the bigger person. She’s only human.
But then as this thought became to play, yet another thought popped into his mind: this girl is not human! She is a talking beast from the blackness! Take your chance, it maybe the only one you have!.
All this judging and distortion only took a matter of seconds in Josh’s mind. It become quite clear what he was going to do.
“Ha!” He shouted from his desk, making sure everyone heard his suddenly powerful and almost hateful voice.
In one swooping motion, he whipped the books off his desk and stood up, staring at Kristen. He pointed at his rival, standing tall, finger pointing, and in a booming voice stated “Sleepy Hallow is by Washington Irving!”
Kristen was frozen; shocked by accusation.
But with Josh still standing, the adrenaline wore off. He slowly looked around and realized the room had become dead silent, staring at him in horror; even Mrs. Dickinson looked amazed.
He was sure that Sleepy Hallow was by Washington Irving, no question. He was sure of himself, until he looked down. The pants and belt he had been struggling with all day had finally decided to give in to gravity.
The mighty swoop he used to stand up seemed too much force for the loose fitting strap, and it had let its grip off.
Josh stood there, finger pointing, with his pants half down his femur.
No one said anything. They just all stared at his grey boxers.
Josh found it impossible to move; his legs refused to sit down and his arm couldn’t stop pointing at Kristen.
Luckily, the bell rang. The whole room, teacher included, left in a matter of seconds; leaving Josh, alone, standing there, finger pointing at an empty desk, and pants…still around his femur.
“Oh goddamnit.” His head drooped, stared at the ground.
Josh pulled up his pants and packed away his books.
One would assume it was pure embarrassment running through the veins of young Josh at this point, but in truth, it wasn’t.
He had just won in mortal combat with his archrival. He was proud more than embarrassed; which seemed to radiate off of him.
An orange glow shined off of Josh. It brought light to the lockers surrounding him and turned everything into a glistening view of amazement. Where most humans would decide they could never show their face again, Josh was illuminate.
He decided that was why people were staring at him when he entered his next class. It was because he was so damned happy. That was the only evident reason.
He sat down and stared forward as his history teacher prepared the class for the day.
“So today we are looking into ‘the Corrupt Bargain’.” Said the voice of his history teacher, Mr. Johnson.
“And because that’s as easy to cut through as it can get, we shall also be watching a video on Andrew Jackson.”
Josh cheered in silence when he heard the name of Andrew Jackson being mentioned. He threw his fist out and pulled back, while whispering “Yes!” to himself.
But much to his dismay, Mr. Johnson’s skills of observation were underestimated by Josh. The teacher stared at Josh in utter bewilderment.
“Yes Mr. Shepherd? Is there anything you want to share with us?”
Josh was getting Déjà Vu. But no! He was dragon slayer. He must remain calm and retort correctly.
“Nothing, it’s just that Andrew Jackson is the most badass president of all time.”
He hadn’t realized what he had said until after it made its way from his mouth.
“What?” Mr. Johnson asked, almost in disgust.
Josh was unable to think or move again and the only thing he seemed to be able to say was exactly what he just heard. “What?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
Josh honestly could no longer function and Mr. Johnson seemed delightfully annoyed.
“What did you just say about Andrew Jackson?”
Damn it! They caught him. But how was he to talk his way out? He could have to sacrifice what was left of his dignity to get out it.
“I said Andrew Jackson is the awesomest president ever.”
The class erupted in laughter.
“Awesome-est?”
“Yes sir.”
“Okay then.” Mr. Johnson remarked while turning around and writing on the board.
The rest of the class was taken by his fear of saying anything else. But the video seemed good enough; in fact, it was even funny. The greatest line was “Andrew Jackson received a small inheritance from one of his grandfather from Ireland. He then continued to spend all the money over the next two days on Whiskey, gambling, horses, and even some girls…..Now that would stop most fifteen-year-olds…”
Josh, along with a small handful of other male students, laughed till they cried.
It had been a long day. Things seemed to only get worse as the day went on, yet no one mentioned the whole lose of pants affair. For whatever reason, no one seemed to care.
“Oh my” Josh said as he reflect on the day in the closed presence of his room. “Well I suppose that was…odd.”
Things happened everyday to him; he was a stranger in a strange land. Each person spoke to him, and each person reacted differently.
Josh sat down on his bed, in his casual clothes, staring at the wall.
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