The Crowd And ME

Often I get asked the same question why do you do it? This is my sort of twisted reply

Often I question it.

From the stage it's easy to ask these things of yourself what the f**k ever drove me here?

Was it some lack of attention a stupid fucked up flaw in me that yerns for acceptance or some twisted

reason that makes me belive I dont care at all.

 

Faces never show clear they just seem a sea of people more lost than myself sometimes I share

but seldom do they ever get a glimpse of that person I struggle to understand myself.

Self distruction is a common flaw I choose to embrace.

 

Its a strange thing being at the front always feeling your mentally stuck somewhere

far in the back at some darkend forgotten table where your drinks are brought slow and your thirst is never

met with a welcome reply.

 

A insecure demon who does understand's its a moment soon forgotten as my existance

hopefully like a fools moment ive left you a laughed about scar.

We can only hope to connect in these seconds between exceptance and failure.

 

The lights dim to signal.

 

Between thoose who could give a f**k less and the few who listen my only thought

is to just keep going.

Other times i just fuel the fire sometimes it's more fun to piss them off and see them squirm.

Unlike a preacher who tells you how to be I challenge you to test what you will except

and like a child and hot stove i always have to play with the burn.

 

Cause if your not pushing it to that edge then what the f**k are you even doing up there

besides taking up space?

 

I never yerned to be mainstream for I like the  outside fringe.

And the moment you find what your doing safe your totally fucked.

Anyone can be plain as white bread safe and family friendly.

 

I dont tell f*****g jokes i exploit the flaws i take that window and pull back the curtain to show

the truth  and curruption of good old mom and pop.

Two people who dream the other would stop breathing so they could go f**k who they wanted

and never even look back once. 

 

I speak of the young kids who understand pain is life and how fucked up they truely are inside

getting the s**t kicked outta them from all sides.

Watching the evening news as some pushed to the limit nut job decides to play show and tell with

his Dads AK 47 yeah its fr hunting btw cause those deer are some bad m***********s .

 

Bodies being drug through the front door  meanwhile folks let's take a commercial brake and sell you some more of that family dream vacation hey Tommy you just got shot more times than fifty cent you wanna go to disney land?

Screw you dude I wanna go the hospital.

Meanwhile his sister takes a brake from hacking on herself and putting her finger down her throat to wonder

if he'll get any good pain pills so she can feel even more numb.

 

Yes her mother worries her daughter is becoming a little to friendly with the boys.

When if only she had worried a little more were daddy was when he wasnt in bed when she was

two bottels and a few pills away from slipping into a coma.

 

Take off the blinders and realize this world is fucked  folks!

Blame it on TV blame it on Blame it on everything but what's under your own nose.

Im not a preacher telling you what to do and how to live.

Im a realist who masks his true thoughts in the bullshit of a joke and drowns his thought process

in booze cause honestly if I had to face this fucked up asylum we call life sober

id take a fast bullet on the first rainy night I had.

 

 

Im a preasure cooker and the stage my only place to let off steam.

A bomb that is always on the verge yet seems to always avoid a evening news story.

Screw the headlines live without fear cause that s**t is more fucked up than we'll ever be.

 

I unleash apon the crowd some laugh others seem to just sit in shock after seeing a car wreck.

Some get pissed most dont dare say s**t to my face.

Hey wanna a drink?

You can fill in the blank                 

 

 

Cheers.    

Reviews

[Nobody.]

Nice.
Again, there's typos,
but, dude this is beautifully human;
the thoughts colliding in the habitual performer's head
as he peers out at the wolves from his mountaintop stage.
The confusion of longing to puke up porphecy
while people watch you dissolve. I know it well.

Loved this.

RG

[Lily Mae]

Jesus..Gonzo..you are on fire.. Say it like it is..you do..:) And it's the harsh reality's thrown into the faces that lie while they laugh.. hmmm you are intense and powerful my friend..xo