Block

Its like a car without a engine on a perfect summer afternoon a empty highway

nothing more beautiful do i know.

Your a great writer the bullshit comments are given to help sugar coat the truth.

 

Like  being told you have cancer in the same breath the doctor ses have a good day

and hands you a overpriced bill.

I see it so i dont have to hear it from other's to know.

 

Its dead in the water like a ship out at sea yerning for a wind to grace the sails .

She's a twisted lover who'll never be true to any one person.

Who could f*****g blame her anyways.

 

A half empty bottel and a blank page they go togather for me as misery and love.

Smother the creative fire and you'll just stink up the party.

Sorry i cant stand to be around.

 

Telling jokes bullshit goes better with some funny lies.

Lets dance befor the closing time call breaks the illusion my dear.

I'll hold you close as once befor and pretend instead of know.

What was can never again be.

 

 

Bitter like shots from a seven year old bottle captured rage isnt as free as new found vice.

We were lovers now were more like slaves.

junkies desperate for that fix .

 

You cant make what isnt there.

I sit at the desk and try to imagine it the way it once so easily flowed.

Sweetheart can I view that picture a solider so far from everything we once knew.

 

Two worlds exist and im not all that in to sugar coated lies.

The chair is empty now as the page.

 

Reviews

[The Winter Poet]

Hail Mary, full of grace. Our Lord is with thee.Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God,pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.Amen.

[WhiteWillow]

I've read your stuff before, and I can't help but believe that your typos are intentional. Reads like a drunken rant...makes sense grammatically (when spoken aloud), but gives the reader a feeling of incoherent-ness. Yet, there is total cohesion in your thoughts and feelings. I may be way off, but enjoyed the piece regardless.

[Purplerose]

Well...see you are a man that doesn't waste words. Good vent. :)

[David Scott]

The best line and i feel the only thing that saves this poem for me is, "We were lovers now were more like slaves. junkies deperate for that fix." Even with the errors like, "were more like slaves" needing to be we're and needing a "," after lovers. I really enjoyed this line very much!
A few other spelling errors but that can be fixed...
This write has promise, but the feel from the biginning stanza is agner over others not getting the s**t kicked out of them for poor writing when your own sriting has plenty to kick around or plaenty to praise. I think you would like encouragement in a the good you are writing and that would help clean things up as well and maybe reading and encouraging other writers would help release your pens constipation... or "block".
I hope you write and I hope you get the anger out and keep trying even when it is not perfect. I will always give you my honest feedback and give you the sugar is i mean it or the kick in the a*s if I feel my leg twitching.

[Frieda P]

Our experiences in life create, you have created some deep, dark poetry here, jam packed with many emotions.

We were lovers now were more like slaves.
junkies desperate for that fix .

Poetry is a fix...or more like fix me. Love it.

[John Patrick Robbins AKA Gonzo]

Thanks so much my friend seems this write has a life of its own at least here that is.
And that line seems to be what people like most about it.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this cheers
Gonzo

[Frieda P]

Pleasure was all mine

[MandaBear]

really beautiful poem. =]

[Joel M Frye]

Well, look, Gonzo...it's Mr. Noread showing up at your party! LOL

As usual, your parting shot (and we do know how you love your shots!) is totally worth the cover for Poetry Night at The Pub. Keep swingin' for the fences, m'man...you connect more often than you think you do.

[Crystal Marie Dreier]

This is really good, and shows a lot of detail which is always a plus in writing. Great write hun :)

[luviva]

wow..
i love the bitterness and anger you expressed here.
you know sometimes we really need to come out hard on our selves rather than sugar coat everything.
this is a factual poem, all you got there is so sadly true!
you know a doctor presenting you a huge bill gift after biopsying you, even when he has done nothing much!!
GOD SAVE OUR WORLD!
nice read!

[Healing Star]

One correction, we must save our world, if you have not got the message yet we must be present. We must rise up and tell Mother we are here, we are here. We are here for you we know you have the power, you have cried too long, too long. We are raising ourselves up consciously and energetically to support you. Yes Mother you can now rise up we are here and you can re-create yourself back to your original beautiful garden, back to the creation you once were before it was all stolen from you by your children and their greed.