Getting Used to it

Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, two years. Its been two whole years since hes be gone. 2 Years since I last felt his strong arms around me. 2 years of misery and despair. 2 years of my mother telling me I told you so. "Blair get up and go downstairs right now" I fall flat on my stomach "No" I get up and slam my door. This is where I live, not in this house per se but in this room up here all alone in the dark most of the times, in the silence all of the times, in the sadness every single day. "Genesis Blair Collet get down her right now." I heard my mothers heels and the end of the stairs "I said no" I roll my eyes at my mothers lack of listening skills. "Genesis this is the last time I am asking, you are going to be late and I know you have been skipping but that is not happening today" I stood up angry as a bull and swung open the door "Read my lips and listen to my words closely. I. Said. No." I replay moments in my head, moments of Tyler and I laughing, moments on that boat, moments at the funeral, moments with his father and sisters. Tears sprang to my eyes just as fast as the thoughts overtook my mind. One tear, two tear, three tear, waterfall. My door creeks open and my mother walks in. "sweetheart tell me this is not happening again." I pull the covers over my face and turn away from her I was not in the mood for this right now. "I told you honey being with him would only cause you pain" she puts her hand on the small of my back and I snap. " Don't you dare, don't you dare say you told me so, Tyler never caused me pain Tyler was the best thing to ever happen to me whether you want to believe it or not. I am so sick and tired of you doing this I am so sick and tired of you acting like this. Its not as easy as it looks Kim its not easy at all, so don't you dare come here and tell me what I should and should not be doing you have no right" Shock, complete shock was plastered all over my mothers face. I grabbed my duffel bag and threw a few clothes in there and threw it over my shoulder. "I'm going to the Garrets don't wait up because i'm not coming back tonight. Or ever." This happens quite often, we get in a fight over my dead boyfriend and It always ends with me going right back to his house. I walk up the steps like i have done a million times before and walk right in. "Blair? tell me not again honey" I drop by bag beside Chloe on the couch and walk to the freezer and grab their big tub of ice cream. "You already know Chloe" she gives me and understanding look and rushes over to my side and grabs two spoons, she hands me one. "I cant believe her sometimes Chlo" She patted me on the back and whipped the tears forming just beneath my eyes. "You know your strong right?" she looks away and drops her head. He was her little brother, her little brother lost at sea. They did everything together, they were as thick a thieves, we all were. It was my turn, i placed my hand on her back and rubbed it ever so soothingly. "I never told you this Chole but, do you want to know the last words he said to me." Her head jerked up. "Yes please" Tears stung my eyes ever so vigorously as I chocked on the words that were to come out next. "He said...Take care of my family......I love you. And that is what im doing" Sobs. Sobbing. We sat there for hours once again crying for a lost love, a brother, an entertainer, a friend. Crying for Tyler.   

Author's Note

Second Chapter.