Resentment

1-28-09

Resentment

 

Stuck in my whirlpool of a brain, thoughts

 Swirling around, flashing through my

Intellect I cannot concentrate

I am stuck

 

I cannot stop the useless nomadic thoughts

They will not shift to give way to the all

 Knowing knowledge I

Knowingly seek

I am stuck

 

It won’t stop gyrating, I cannot get past

The black hole, the black hole that is

Engulfing my brain and taking no

 Hostages, soon it will all end.

I am stuck

 

The process cannot be inverted, it will

Not go away with a magic word

It is wedged within my head

There is no way to get it out

I am stuck

 

This is what becomes of those ensnared in

The trap of resentment, where there is no

Escape from the unvarying nagging that

Continuously pelts your mind and gives

You no rest from the anger and hurt

You are stuck

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad, but it seems a little too descriptive and not poetic enough, in my opinion. I feel like you could have done a much better job turning this into a short story, as I think that would suit your writing style better. As it stands it's not bad, but I just feel like there's a great deal of potential here that you're missing out on.

[Jeremia]

I will have to look into that. See if I am able to turn this into something more. Thank you.