Every step

9-22-12

Every step you take is one step closer

To those bars you try so hard to escape

Those bars that even now hold you locked

Keeping you from doing what you should

 

The man whom you are capable of being

Fading into nothing but a dream

A wish being blown away with the clouds

Caught in the whirlwind of life and withering away

 

Each step shredding your heart

Grieving your very soul

Depression gripping you tight

Squeezing the life out of you

 

You find it hard to press on

Every step you take gets heavier

Wondering what good there could possibly be

What grand plan could be found in this

Reviews

[Westminster Abbey]

I think this is the first time I've ever actually seen the word "depression" in a poem. Although many refer to it, they never actually say it. They beat around the bush, filling their poems to the brim with figurative languange. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but they need to learn where to stop. Your poem was simple, to the point, and still managed to use some figurative language. As Whitney said, it's raw, but it's also illustrative. This piece is different, and it's freshness delighted me.

I normally try to avoid reading dark pieces, but this one I enjoyed. 100/100

[Jeremia]

Thank you very much. I value your thoughts more than you know. :)

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

I love the the raw description of a struggling life and depression. It's a darker piece and I enjoyed reading it.

[Jeremia]

Thank you Whitney for taking the time to read through my writing and taking the time to comment on top of that. I appreciate it very much.

[B-poet]

Illustrating why it's hard to live with being yourself is every man's challenge. Good write. You've touched on a lot of points to why each step in life has its pros and cons. Nice job. :)

[Jeremia]

Thank you. :D

[That1Nerd23]

This is beyond incredible! I love it! ((:

[Jeremia]

You say that about every one of my poems. Perhaps a bit biased? lol jk. Thanks Jessa. Hopefully I'll talk with you soon.

[That1Nerd23]

Hahah! No! Yes! Maybe! Okay, fine, I do say that about every one of your poems, but that's only b/c I don't want to lie to you. :P Me too!