Zeus of Olympus

Zeus and the other Olympians are betrayed by Hades and defeated by the Titans.

Two shadowy figures hover within an eerie smoke across an earthen bridge. They stop at a ledge and cast their eyes down into the bottomless abyss below them. "Are you sure this is such a good idea Lord Hades? I mean the Titans re..." Hades with a puff of smoke disappears then materializes behind the one who spoke. "Calm yourself minion. Zeus is a tyrant. He sits atop mount Olympus spitting dictates to mankind and treats his fellow Olympians no fairer a treatment. See how unjustly he punished Prometheus and how he drove his demi god son Hercules mad. Think of his endless infidelity mortal woman and goddesses alike. Do you want such a tyrant on the throne of Olympus?" The minion said nothing but gulped as he reexamined the abyss below.

Queer green rays of light pierced the emerging mist as it rose out of the pit. The minion could here the faint sounds of the tormented as they descended and it made him uneasy. He admitted to himself he hated Zeus buy he feared the Titans more. He wasnt alive then when the Olympians fought against the Titans. They were devourers of gods. Eating them and sustain their life force within them. Using it for their own ends. The war lasted for centuries but the Olympians finally emerged victorious but at great cost. He had heard the spoken word passed down by the story tellers. "The woe of the god eaters and may they never again rise" he recalled.

He wanted to stop Hades' plan but there was no changing his mind. Once set the course not even the Kraken could stop him. He had only wished it was another and not he that was choosen to be privy to this plot but if he didn't he most likely would have been killed or worse. His master was not the forgiving type and with that in mind he kept his tongue behind his teeth.

Down they went, descending a spiral staircase that seemed without end. Shadows from the green light played in the mist playing at the minions fears but Hades hovered on without fear and a iron cold determination. He had made it this far and with all his meticulous planning he would not stop now. This was justice, his brother was a tyrant but he knew he couldn't defeat Zeus alone he was simply too powerful. Now his years long labor would come to fruition. The staircase began to be engulfed by the mist. Hades formed a fireball from his hand and left it suspended in front of them as they walked. The shrill of shrieking voices was ringing in their ears now and the minion was nearly losing his nerve.

The closer they came to the Titans prision the more intense the fog and screams became. It was a warning for all to turn back this place was forbidden. But that didn't stop the lord of the Underworld. The fire ball spat little sparks as they came closer to their quarry. What seemed an infinitum of time they finally reached the bottom of the perilous chasm.

A large circle surrounded by the endless staircase and the veil of mist housed a large rusty dust covered box that stood on a large pedestal. Massive chains wrapped over it and fastened tightly to the ground. Gears and sprockets lined the boxes walls. It was a curious mechanism created by Hephaestus and commissioned by Zeus
Inside were the dreaded god eaters. But the King of the Gods wouldn't have made it so easy for the box to be opened. It required several keys which Hades himself had acquired over the years. Tempting demi gods and mythical creatures to do so. His plan was now culminating to this final defining moment. Hades approached the box and he could feel a force repeling him away from it. It would have a killed a mortal.

Using his god-powers he resisted the sightless field and finally broke through. The voices became louder now as if to make their presence known. But Hades showed no fear. Raising his hand he summoned the keys from his kingdom in shadow realm. The keys materialized over the god's head and their presence caused the box to stir. The dust and rust broke free from the box and crumbled away. All the voices were silent now and the sound of beating hearts resounded in the chasm.

Carefully with the flick of his right hand he moved the first key made of earth in the lock made of the same element and then followed all the others in their perspective locks. Before turning them all at once he reveled in the moment of his victory. Finally retribution would be his. Howls are deep roars rumbled from the box as if it were alive in anticipation of the events to come.


Hades with his god-powers turns the keys simultaneously. The gears turned slowly at first but then gained speed faster and faster they turned as the box vibrated violently on the pedestal. The chains were shaking as if the box was attempting to break free of its bonds. One chain snapped and then the other until all were broken and strewn upon the ground like dead snakes. A thunderclap resounded in the chasm heralding the coming of the Olympian Zeus. "HADES!!! What have you done?!"

The Lord of the Underworld turned and gave a spiteful look. "Your too late brother! Behold the Titans are unleashed." The boxes lid then flung open and all the primordial mist formed a violent tornado into the box. When the chasm was cleared of the eerie mist the box belched out the first of the Titans. Hyperion navigator of the heavenly spheres and the wisest of the twelve he emerged as a brilliant light that blinded all others his presence was eternal and terrifying. Even Hades trembled before the awesome might of the primordial god. The upper body of man was beggining form and it filled the entire cavity of the chasm. Another light emerged from the prision box and the Titaness Theia, consort of Hyperion began to form. The hollow mount that housed the box could not hold the two and so the peak of the Mount was torn asunder and it explodes as a volcano would its top.

Debris filled the sky then came plummeting back down to the earth."Return from whence you came Titans! No longer our fathers and mothers are you, cast down you were and cast down again you shall be." Zeus roared as he launched a full spread of lightning bolts at the resurrected Gods. But as they struck they had no effect. Though weak from their imprisonment together they were more than a match for Zeus. Other Olympians arrived armed and ready for the ensuing battle to come. The other elder Gods had yet to emerge from the box. The topless mount shook as the earth began to quake. The Olympians stood poised. Zeus launched several more bolts but again no effect. A third Titan was beggining to emerge from the box and then another until all twelve of the elder Gods upper bodies spewed forth from out of the mountains top like a mushroom cloud. The Olympians upon their chariots circled the primordial divines.

Zeua unleashes a barrage of lightning bolts with the support of Artemis who shot a full spread of ethereal arrows. Their combined impact only angered the Titans. Hyperion with a powerful swoop plucked Artemis right out from the shy from her chariot then devoured her. His chest glowed with divine light her godly essence was now his. A war cry sounded from the foot of the hollowed mount. Ares with his ghost army swarmed the elder Gods. But Hyperion shrugged them off with ease. The spectral army was thrown into and they dissapeared with a eerie puff of smoke as they hit the earth. Oceanus one of the Titans with watery arms threw his arms upon the ground as white crests formed and crashed into Ares engulfing. Oceanus scooped him up and ate him. A red energy rippled through the Titan as he belched up red fog.

Zeus seeing his fellow Olympians being devoured summoned a heard of thunder clouds that soon swirled around the Elder Gods. Lightning bolts came crashing down upon them but Hyperion with single breath dispersed the storm as the clouds dissipated into a clear night sky. One by one the Olympians fell until only Zeus the King of the Gods himself and his daughter Athena remained. Hyperion had Zeus within his grasp but before the elder God could devour him Athena seeing that battle was lost rolled Zeus' essence from his physical vessel and threw him into the Ethereal Realm. Following him she quickly devised a plan knowing all to well the Titans would be not far behind them. With the efforts of the Fates she distributed Zeus' essence amongst the mortal threads hoping that one day he would incarnate into a mortal coil and defeat the Titans as they failed to do so now.

Hyperion seeing that the last of the Olympians had retreated yelled a might roar tearing the fabric inbetween the realms. Through the tare he grasped Athena pulled her though and devoured her. Hades realizing what Athena had done summoned his chariot fashioned from souls of the dead, ascended from the hollow mount with a trail of ash and burning embers in his wake.

Reviews

[Barbara Tennyson]

Verb tense conflict: 'Hades with a puff of smoke disappears ...'(Present tense) & The minion said nothing ...(Past tense.) Either all present or all past, but mixing them is just plain confusing. Here, it's very confusuing: Zeua unleashes a barrage of lightning bolts with the support of Artemis who shot ....(Also spelling.)

Omitted words: What seemed an infinitum of time they finally reached the bottom of the perilous chasm. This seems to need 'after' as the beginning word. Also use a dictionary to check if 'infinitum' means what you want in this sentence.
'...roared a might roar...' --missing letter: might_Y_ roar.

Hyperion had Zeus within his grasp but before the elder God could devour him Athena seeing that battle was lost rolled Zeus' essence from his physical vessel and threw him into the Ethereal Realm. Following him she quickly devised a plan knowing all to well the Titans would be not far behind them. With the efforts of the Fates she distributed Zeus' essence amongst the mortal threads hoping that one day he would incarnate into a mortal coil and defeat the Titans as they failed to do so now. -*-Well, when the characters ARE gods, the _deus ex machina_ (defined as: an unexpected power or event saving a seemingly hopeless situation, especially as a contrived plot device in a play or novel), AKA 'the rabbit out of a hat trick', must be acceptable. It still sticks out like a sore thumb.

[Mati]

This review was semi helpful. Thanks anyway.

[Barbara Tennyson]

So what would you consider helpful?

[Mati]

All the grammitcal and tense corrections were helpful. Thank you.