It's energetic, spontaneous, like youth should be. It conveys this unwillingness to acknowledge ugliness.
Is the silly rhymes there to distract or to confess? I don't know. Besides all that it is funny. I liked the last two lines
Good job
first thing first, i like the way you have presented this piece, the last line absolutely goes with the background. nice theme.thats what special about having a kid's mind, always remember the happy ecstatic moment.
This is a topic that I myself have explored and thought wouldn't it be nice to go back to being ignorant of things that make us unhappy, but for me, this isn't the answer for nothing would then ever get changed and things would stay the same. Thought provoking write though Glitch.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
thank you astro!
i guess...
11 Years Ago
Glitch, you will come to understand that when I review someones work I am honest in my personal opin.. read moreGlitch, you will come to understand that when I review someones work I am honest in my personal opinions toward it. This may be flattering for some and disparaging for others, but my intentions are always objective going in. I would hope that an artist would be open to criticism and take from it and become stronger, or discount it and move on. I have no doubt that you have something valusble to share but writing is an art and all art must be practiced before being mastered. I too practice it everyday and will not pretend to be better than anyone else, but instead, I am happy when someone feels my work is noteworthy.
11 Years Ago
you are right...
i do practice everyday....
even i baind paper by my own had to make a.. read moreyou are right...
i do practice everyday....
even i baind paper by my own had to make a little notebooks...
i will show you my practice writing...
maybe you can help...
11 Years Ago
im happy to know you...
i always get the best of people...
11 Years Ago
Well feel free to send me your work anytime, I will do my best to help when I can.
11 Years Ago
thank i know..
you got a big heart like the astro in the movie...
wish you dont have t.. read morethank i know..
you got a big heart like the astro in the movie...
wish you dont have that kind of jet packs too.....lol
Well if my Japanese isn't too rusty, I was saying thank you very much and you are a friend. I thoug.. read moreWell if my Japanese isn't too rusty, I was saying thank you very much and you are a friend. I thought if you were a fan of Astroboy, that you might be Japanese. My bad if you are not. :o
11 Years Ago
im indian..
11 Years Ago
Well I can't speak Punjabi or Hindu so I'll stick to just saying Thank you. ;)
11 Years Ago
even i cant speak punjabi...
but my dad can...
you got so much knowledge about langua.. read moreeven i cant speak punjabi...
but my dad can...
you got so much knowledge about language... why?
11 Years Ago
I've always been interested in communication, and the best way is to learn different ways to express.. read moreI've always been interested in communication, and the best way is to learn different ways to express yourself, that includes learning other languages. I also live in a very multicultural part of the world.
11 Years Ago
where?!.....
11 Years Ago
Vancouver British Columbia Canada
11 Years Ago
oooh...
i get it why this punjabi and all that...
how about indian food?
11 Years Ago
I like it, especially butter chicken and rice. Mmmm
11 Years Ago
my whole family love that dish...
i live with my mum and dad and a big bro....
you?
My thoughts are that this is an awesome poem. I know exactly what this is about and I can appreciate it. It is simple and short and sweet, but so deep. Keep writing, glitch.
I always enjoy your work! It sucks as we grow up that we lose our innocence through our different experiences. But good message and keep writing.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
thank you norman!!!
is this your real name?
if it is than i like it!
there is a.. read morethank you norman!!!
is this your real name?
if it is than i like it!
there is a movie paranorman...
ever seen?
YUP! You are right, we lose innocence as we grow up. Love your short (Zen-ish) poem. But Glitch, you have got a nice surprise in store for you, When you get to my age, your baby brain comes back!
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
so how old are you?
11 Years Ago
Old enough to be your Aunt, I suspect! Keep writing
Cute. This simply reveals that a baby mind is an innocent one while the mature mind is a corrupted one. LOL. No offense for the others. What I mean is having an innocent mind makes you free from more sins...while having a mature mind makes you more capable of doing mistakes. The more intelligent you are, the more capable you are of making sins and get out of it. Anyway, in every rule there is an exemption. So I hope, I won't offend anybody here. I just explain what the poem means.
I like your concept.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
thats enough for me...
but you get what i am tring to tell
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