Normal

What does that word even mean?
I'm not sure
I don't even fit
The description anymore
I've done a lot of awful things
Of which I never meant to do
And quite frankly it scares me sometimes
To look back on the things that I've done
I wonder why I even did them
It totally shocks me
That I would do something so horrible
Because that is so not my personality at all
Generally I am a sweet, loving and caring young man
But I have come across something
Something on a whole new level
Of which I do not understand
Normal is something that I strive to be
Which is something I do not possess in reality
Maybe just maybe I'll accomplish this mission
And hopeful receive some recognition
For my faith and dedication
And for all the medication
That I have taken
But only to satisfy those that surround me
Because I just want to make them happy
So that I can take a little weight off my shoulders
Because the pressure is building
And I am willing
To do anything to put an end to it
Because I don't know how much longer that I can go through it
Normal is something that I strive to achieve
Now you tell me is that so hard to believe?