You are a great writer and this is clearly evident in these wonderful epic masterpieces you so beautifully pen. Given the time to read from start to finish allows the reader to gain a clearer understanding of the mindset of this mindful poet that you are. Your words are skillfully written in segments to break down the monotony and flow as you lead us from one wonderful write to another.
I enjoyed the play on words and the humour in this stanze... a great eclectic mix of metaphors all rapped up nicely (no pun intended) into this witty verse...
I pledge allegiance to the flag?
Snag that does not look like the one I know.
Show me again there are way too many stars.
Bizarre what happen to the Sun in the middle?
Diddle let’s try this again with an edge.
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.
I plague a leg to the jet lag of the unique stats of Jamaica.
Americana rhymes better next question.
Annotation, do you know who the president is?
President is Bo rack O Gamma.
No, his name is Barack Obama.
You’re in the general ballpark.
Spark out of this, what do 50 stars stand for, take a guess?
Yes, 50 Cents.
Relent, he’s a rapper.
Answer is 50 states.
Looking forward to reading more of you Glen... superb work my friend...
Yellow Butterfly - thanks for your time and review of this work...I had to read again myself...I hav.. read moreYellow Butterfly - thanks for your time and review of this work...I had to read again myself...I have this in about 7 or 8 or 9 versions...and just kept plugging away at this and making the words more concrete...I do my internal rhyme scheme in the lyrical verses...give more to the reader and the verse without them being obvious...I do not mind rhyme - but I want to hide them in the write and have the focus more on the depth of the words and meaning behind the write itself...makes you work harder to give the intent...and ultimately the satisfaction to improve as a writer...
Really great stuff, Glen...I enjoyed your idioms and phrases...it reminded of stuff I wrote way back when...the style is spoken words...I also like the ending poem showing the softer side of you...not much to say that the others spoke greatly about other than it is a good read.
I thought you already commented on this one... E... well... you've read the entire Series... if anyo.. read moreI thought you already commented on this one... E... well... you've read the entire Series... if anyone would like it... you definitely took the time... Thanks again...
Lavonne - thanks for the review... Filipino American Dream Series... is my alter ego... a different .. read moreLavonne - thanks for the review... Filipino American Dream Series... is my alter ego... a different edge from the norm... I wanted to challenge my writing style... not that I do not like being Glen Yumang Manese... but aka FAD.. is just more fun at times... gives me an escape... a way to see beyond what I can do... and how far I've come in the progression...
Is is partially, at all, based on your own story? this is just the first FAD one I picked on, but I .. read moreIs is partially, at all, based on your own story? this is just the first FAD one I picked on, but I will definitely be reading more, and you most definitely stepped up to the plate in challenging your style. Everyone needs an escape- I call my poems my "creative journal".
11 Years Ago
In any personal narrative there is parts of me and parts of fiction in the whole mess of things... a.. read moreIn any personal narrative there is parts of me and parts of fiction in the whole mess of things... as I went about the Series... Unscripted deals with me for the most part... learning English... my battles with my mother with Leukemia and my older sister with bipolar... and the times and struggles of just life growing up... and the demons we all have inside wanting to be let out in the open...
11 Years Ago
Poetry is good for letting the demons out into the open. Kudos to you for finding a creative outlet .. read morePoetry is good for letting the demons out into the open. Kudos to you for finding a creative outlet to overcome and express your struggles!
You are quite prolific. The first poem had some interesting observations but I got lost in the repeated line about 'us citizens' was that meant to be a play on words or was it a matter of english being a second language? Your command of english seems good, so I am not sure.
Mark _ consider English my first language... and my native - my second now... I went to school here .. read moreMark _ consider English my first language... and my native - my second now... I went to school here in the USA... Filipino American Dream was the transformation... and the line us citizens... is those who came here as an immigrant and now part of the melting pot of being American... Of course, I used that as the chorus... in the first verse... of the Series... I happen to see you were online and randomly pick a writer and read their work... with many to pick from on the list... Some I've found are just made up for advertisement... I'll have to look more into your writings and offer my reviews... I miss my old site Editred and came here afterwards... I use to have another account here and could not maintain reviews on both sites... just too much for one person... Thanks for stopping by...
"I thank you,
All for being me.
I am nothing,
Without belief in you.
You give me:
Rhyme or reason.
You gave me my audience.
I will give you a lasting performance." Freedom of speech I love the sarcasm used in this piece ,this is why I love this Art so much! Thank you for sharing this inner cry with us and yes I'll have to agree with one of your reviewer I think it could be used as a meaningful song. An Awesome write!
Thanks for stopping by... I had a long battle with this Series... If I could go back and reveal the .. read moreThanks for stopping by... I had a long battle with this Series... If I could go back and reveal the changes and now... this would be a very different write altogether... I wanted to finish with this one you mentioned to give back to the artist... and the struggles of just being a face without a name... so to speak... if one day this becomes more... I will have succeed... if I have not agreed with this final product... as a contribution of the art...
Very clever and a kick-a*s series of poem - the Filipino American Dream is a dream of many... who wouldn't come to get a greener pasture but all comes with a price to pay...
I find the rhyming suited for a song - perhaps a rap song...
I find this poem very long, but its understanble because its a series of poems put together in one very long piece... i would suggest to put it into a series of break down poems and then compile them into a book because each part is a story of its own... but then its was intended to be read as one whole thing...
You have tackled many issues here that i find very amusing maybe because some of it i felt the reality check of each situation...
Over all I enjoyed the cleverness of this piece...
and the rhyming makes it fun to read...
Great work Sir Glen!
Pax - again thank you... there's are a few that did not make the cutting room table... and still res.. read morePax - again thank you... there's are a few that did not make the cutting room table... and still reside there on the floor... I have not abandoned them, completely... I want to move on with other materials and finish what I started... with the Collections and now the novel, "De Novo"... and this is not quite over... even after 3 Series... I have a lot more in the oven... just need to put all effort into the body of my prize... "De Novo"... this has taken even a longer journey... to complete... I hope to complete sooner... if not later... a novel is only finished when the pen no longer merits... but a "The End"... Good Day!!!
I loved the Filipino American Dream so much! I was feeding on the sarcasm and you're good at it. You're a brave soul. Not sure if you have come across my "The United Taste of a Miracle" but I recommend you check it out when you have enough time. I feel the need to read Paris Hilton:) I know it's gonna be fun.
I will check out... time for bed here in the US of A... Happy reading and thanks for stopping... by... read moreI will check out... time for bed here in the US of A... Happy reading and thanks for stopping... by...
Follow me at Twitter tag: @GlenManese, St. Petersburg/Pittsburgh/Makati, Philippines
About
Me in a nutshell:
I am currently, done with my first book of verses: The Onyx - Vena Amoris. Friesen Press finished in December and is out for release before the holidays at the end of the year 20.. more..