I Will Kill Him!

I Will Kill Him!

A Story by Gleek4ever21
"

I was bored.

"
I stared horrified at my father. He lay in my arms, face pale, chest barely moving. He couldn't breath. There was nothing I could do but watch. He was dying. I knew this day was coming, we all did. But no one was ready. I was definitely NOT ready. I felt myself shutting down. My whole world was ending, my Daddy is going to fall asleep, but this time he was not going to wake up. I watched my half dead father, minute by minute he would grow colder. Second by second I would grow closer to tears. Don't cry, I told myself. 
"I love you." My Dad whispered. Well that just about did it. Hot, sticky tears ran down my face. There was a large clump in my throat. I tried to swallow it down but it was like trying to swallow a handful of clay. I started making that awful choking sound I always make when I cry.
"I love you too." I sobbed almost inaudibly. I looked at my Dad. He had grown ice cold in my arms, his chest seemed to have stopped moving, but his eyes were still open. I carefully put my ear to his chest and listened for a heartbeat, all I could hear was silence. I stifled back another wave of sobs and ever so gently closed his eyes. I started crying again when I realized I had just closed his eyes for the last time. They were never to open again. 
I promise, I thought to myself, I promise you father, I will avenge your death. I carefully set my father on the floor and kissed his forehead. 
"I promise you father," I said in a shaky voice, "I will kill John Katherum, if it's the last thing I do." Then I got up and walked out the front door. I will not return home till he is dead, I vowed. Not till his eyes close for the last time! 

© 2011 Gleek4ever21


Author's Note

Gleek4ever21
Should I write more?

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Featured Review

Yes, write more! So far it is very gripping!

I hate saying something should be like this or that because I personally think every piece of art is a master piece but if I was to add anything it would be to take more time explaining what is going on in this scene; this person must be feeling a world of different emotion or maybe just a pure tug of a single one.
This is just personal preference, but don't make it so polished; bring the rough, gritty attributes of reality to life. The funny thing about drawing a picture with a pencil is that it is the shadows, which are being drawn which bring it to life; that is to say, the unpleasant parts of the world are the things that make the good ones so special and if you can bring both of these forces together, will have one hell of a story!
But as in all things if you feel differently, go with your gut and ignore what I have said.
PS, I'm a terrible writer myself!


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is really interesting,I really like it. You should write more< I really feel bad for this child though.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Yes, write more! So far it is very gripping!

I hate saying something should be like this or that because I personally think every piece of art is a master piece but if I was to add anything it would be to take more time explaining what is going on in this scene; this person must be feeling a world of different emotion or maybe just a pure tug of a single one.
This is just personal preference, but don't make it so polished; bring the rough, gritty attributes of reality to life. The funny thing about drawing a picture with a pencil is that it is the shadows, which are being drawn which bring it to life; that is to say, the unpleasant parts of the world are the things that make the good ones so special and if you can bring both of these forces together, will have one hell of a story!
But as in all things if you feel differently, go with your gut and ignore what I have said.
PS, I'm a terrible writer myself!


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

thanks!

Posted 13 Years Ago


nice one read mine too "QUEST OF LIFE".

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on July 28, 2011
Last Updated on October 16, 2011

Author

Gleek4ever21
Gleek4ever21

piss off! Like i would tell you!, didn't you just read what I put above?, Bosnia and Herzegovina



About
Hi! I'm 13! I'm a gleek!!! Watch it you freak! See, hahahaha, I got the rhyme in me! Which is why you should read my poems and stories! more..

Writing