Gemini

Your initials are somewhere on my wall

lonely with time’s layers

I’ve coated you like a pearl

to lessen the hurt with each silky swirl.

I’m shut out from your thoughts

I’m shut up

I’m shunned

and I’m sorry but I doubt it was me.

It was never me that took you to your knees,

and sickly sometimes I wish it was

because

 

I can try to justify that you were the taste of the rain

of wet clothes, sticky skin, open fire griddle sizzle kisses

of wishes

 

Your image is tucked away in my old journal

filled with childish love and the last of my innocence

I’ve pushed as far as I can beneath my bed but instead

your lovely words linger in my head

serrated words you never said

to me, at least… if I’d die for your cause

and sickly sometimes I wish it was

because

 

I can try to justify that you were my Jesus,

that you’d somehow save us,

I’d fill you with my underwhelming trust,

my Gemini but I�"I know better

I know my stormy weather

 

If I held your sad frame, and whispered your name

a lullaby refrain, again and again you’d still never answer

and this, perhaps the curse of the Cancer,

is why we were so easily divided by the sea…

you weren’t for me

you weren’t for me