Inferiority Complex

open for interpretation.

So much sleep but I am tired
Not enough rest and I feel expired
Take a nap and become more deprived
Close my eyes and in the back of my mind

Don't fall asleep awake from this dream
And whisper to me a lullaby
Don't fall asleep awake from this dream
comatose had fried your little mind
Don't fall asleep don't fall asleep
These dreams will only make us blind

Take a chill while blowing steam
I have a shiver but sweating it seems
Rub my shoulders and give me some relief
Call her speechless but she cannot stand the heat
Take a chill and blow off some steam

Author's Note

Tell me what you see when you read this.

Reviews

[Just Charles]

This challenges the thought that people aren't really getting enough rest. Is it a matter of mind over matter, or is it actually a matter of not getting enough rest and feeling tired the next day. Me personally, I feel replenished every morning. As for the structure of the poem, I thought it was too short. But the beauty of poems that are short is that they are small bags that hold powerful punches in them. This poem needs a little work. But overall, there is potential.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is indeed a very complex piece of writing, but surely something with which I can relate myself with.
I liked it :)

[Charles D. Moorer]

One of the problems with relying on exact rhyme or sight rhyme is the it often forces the poet to rely on standard convention which locks him/her into boxes. There is conflict and confusion between reality and what the writer would like to be. Do I or don't I?

[Ebb and Flow]

I can relate to this piece. I sleep but I honestly feel no rest. This is a great write. It's full of anxiety as Craig Froman said, but nonetheless beautiful.

Krys

[Mandi]

There's a lot of anxiety, i understand how that feels.
Very well written.

[MattWheatus]

The contrasting statements and paradoxes the subject exists in are really well constructed. "Not enough rest and I feel expired
Take a nap and become more deprived"; great lines. This has a feel of delerium and sleep deprivation about it - the intended effect I assume! Great work.

[Michael X]

i cant or don't want to relate the title to the poem because i read it before i looked at the title, i like this alot, seemed bland here and there where it shouldve reflected its peaks, i would rewrite this poem and focus on the essense of each paragraph and drop off alot of the unnessisary wording that does nothing more than fog the mirror finish youe poem could have, what i liked, the opposite balances, like so much sleep- not enough rest, nap - deprived, you could lose the second stanza all togther imo, id give this a 100/100 for a great foundation to build an amazing piece.

[An owl on the moon]

There is a strong feeling of anxiety... the sleep but no rest... life overwhelming... never refreshing... a desire for relief... Beautifully expressed through your words... What did I see? I saw me when I was younger... Vivid work filled with emotion.