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Oh there are so many lines, that are so brilliant in this one Sarah, great metaphorical insight, and creativity. This write tells me, it's about love, and love that is too late, or not worth it to hang as beautiful in this gallery, but maybe better, because, all that hangs there, isn't private... and sometimes, a silence between two, can make things much better... again a write that makes you think, and ponder, loved reading it.
- Elisa
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Elisa, you are always such a kind and consistent reviewer. I appreciate you so much :)
11 Years Ago
You're ever so welcome, I appreciate you too my dear friend, keep on writing to us, and yourself, we.. read moreYou're ever so welcome, I appreciate you too my dear friend, keep on writing to us, and yourself, we need you here. :) xx it was a beautiful piece.
The third stanza is my favorite. I love where you take the reader in terms of how a so-called reality can ruin what's truly good about an individual's view on what love really means to them. Great work Girl Friday. This is a treasured write & read. :)
Personally I felt the last two stanza became too cerebral, and it felt as if you were trying to tie up everything too neatly.
I would end the poem on "because too much sunlight / would ruin this romance". It's a beautiful image and perhaps it's just more of the romantic in me talking?
I had to read this several times just to let it sink in, loved how it began almost as an outside perspective and then spiraled into something personal and then heartbreaking- and it is, it is incredibly sad to have something brilliant and shining in your arms, to think that it's silver and precious but it's really only a gum wrapper... sorry, got off track, but I love this piece! Great write. C:
Sarah, you have a way of putting words to feelings we've all experienced, but have the inability to express ourselves. Your final line, "and maybe our art just isn't gallery quality", moved me. You know how to bare the nerves of the soul. Your art IS gallery quality.
It's uncanny how well this poem fits to my life right now and there's no greater feeling than knowing that someone else not only knows how this feels, but is also able to describe it so beautifully and with such amazing imagery, in a way that makes more sense of it than I ever could. And not only that, but the love you're describing here is one that's seldom written and not the cliche fairytale that everyone yearns for, but the honest reality that everyone tries to ignore. It's really a beautiful piece of work and I would pay to read that any day :)
You write very well and this is one of your best piece, Sarah. I WILL stay sentimental to the end, and warmly embrace happy ever afters, while others enjoy droning on about their grey walls of (supposed) reality. You deftly take your own track here with an individual voice; I do see it's closer to the grey-waller end of the spectrum than my dreamscometrue end, but so be it, I'm undaunted! Good write, well done.
"She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire." - Charles Bukowski
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