Signs

this dull ache bears a misplaced name

scratched out in midnight moon-paint

upon a wall I used to brush with lover’s eyes

as you breathed unholy hymns upon my neck

soft as the whispers of winter’s wilting leaves

regret melting gradually from black-ink branches

 

like a child, I cannot force the letters to commit

they will not become something they never were

no matter how many ways I rearrange them

 

they are the pale bones of an obsolete history

decomposing slowly in the backwoods of my mind

where stacks of caution signs rust red

beneath thorny vines dusted with virgin snow

Reviews

[Horizon K.]

I feel you are striking into new territory... A new panel of metaphors and design... A change of seasons in this onset of winter and his aftermath...

Anyway, I felt frigid, standing in the skeletal remains of a forest built from sad memories that can't be changed, even in dreams... he, is gone... and what remains of she, is broken, yet embryonic... My visions from this portrait of loss that you have so vividly drawn...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Horizon.

jacob

[Shane William]

Brilliant. Again. That line:
"as you breathed unholy hymns upon my neck"
That's just...yeah. It might sound creepy, dracula-esque but I think a woman's neck one of her most attractive features. Oh and that Bukowski quote you added to your bio is my favorite. An almost made up poem is forever brilliant.

[Ken Simm.]

Some writes just hit. This is one. I see writers trying to hard. I see long words misused or misunderstood in place of creativity. I see ersatz heartbreak. I see, 'oh woe is me'. All in the name of romance, love, call it what you will. Rarely do I find true passion for the skill. Here it stands.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you, my friend. I do try...

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

i LIKE it .. deliciously gloomy, desolate and despondent --- makes me want to imagine myself as some once-admired-and-now-forgotten piece of decomposing Fall Splendor. "..thorny vines dusted with virgin snow" .. gives me the thought to prick my finger and suck the life blood from myself to see if sustenance can be forced into a circular relationship. The writing is just awful good too. :)

100 black, shiny, Poe(etic) Raven Feathers

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Deliciously despondent...I do that well at least :) Thank you my friend!

[kublakhan27]

You were away for a while, but your words and images are as striking and poignant as ever. The first couple of lines reflect very much how I've been feeling lately. There haven't been a whole lot of words being passed down from my brain to my hand these days. On days like this, I struggle with identity, hence the significance of the "misplaced name." When I do write, virtually all of my best stuff comes at midnight and after...again I was able to take something from the moon-paint image. When I'm writing, there is life in the night and the moon is bright, even behind clouds. When I'm not writing, the night feels artificial, like another layer of dark paint on a void. I know what it's like to miss those unholy hymns, but that's a whole other story. On the bright side, this is my most creative season and hopefully I'll be able to squeeze some of that black ink from the leafless branches. The third stanza feels like an appeal for uniqueness. You've probably caught on to the fact that I have a handful, maybe half a dozen motifs that make up the vast majority of my work. I wish I could diversify my imaginative capacity, but I've come to accept this small group of themes as my trademark, for as much as we writers want to be unique, I think we all like to have personal trademarks or signatures to fall back on, things that people can identify with us. There are very few writers that consistently appeal to my own state of mind under any set of circumstances, and you are obviously one. You might be on the top of the list really. Great work as always my friend.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You always touch me with your reviews...thank you so much, my friend.

[Rafia ~ Yellow Girl]

Mysterious, I cannot guess the story in this one.
The sadness is running through the words to such an extent that all other emotions are hiding behind each other and so the picture is foggy... But I like the way you overlapped events.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you, my friend.

[Cody Williams]

A beautiful poem Sarah! Thanks for sharing!

-CW

[KAin]

The truth of finding what we need to find leaps out at me in this poem - the hunger born in us to find the answers, the reasons for why we're here. There are hints of fear and love in this poem, and how similarly they may inspire us to find the truth, whatsoever that might be.
Thank you, Girl Friday. Vivid work...

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much!

[K. Louis]

I have to agree with what many of the others have said here...your imagery is great and the words are strung together so effortlessly.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Means a lot coming from you, my friend.

[Rita L. Sev]

Foolish not to heed those caution signs, obscured by the cold distance of time... Great images here, Sarah!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Foolish indeed!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I'm reminded of the ever-striving perfection of a poet ... that desire to write that perfect poem that captures precisely what your soul is trying to say. "They will not become something they never were no matter how many ways you rearrange them." Life is the same, our experiences, and memories. Sadly, it never is as we'd desire it to be.

Lovely!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you, Linda :)