Absolutely loved the descritive language when you described the waves as being horses! Brilliant and well written
Posted 11 Years Ago
To make yourself so thin, and bare, is art.... in your first stanza you speak so well of that....
Sometimes, we are so thin, and fragile, people should see the veins through our skin, to feel we are alive.
You're a sea child, that has been growing up, by the mature, (recognizable) here....
Too many thoughts, and feelings in a high sensitive brain, trying to let it land, feel it translate it to art...
And there are paradoxes, through the many paths of life, we face them, embrace them, see them, kiss them, and are aware of them.
That soundless noise is so much louder, than many can hear, I know you and me do.... "And I'm ready to rotate our exhausted dial" said it all for me.... there is the "sigh" of feeling too much... perceiving too much, and now and then need a brief vacation of the mind.... ;) we can shake hands on that part...
Dead air, is bliss sometimes.... loved this write.
ahh... the 'static sonority' sounds peaceful. When I was young and would be in a group of people I always felt like a martian because I never had the knack for small talk. At the time, I didn't understand that extroverts do much of their thinking by voicing their thoughts. To me, they all sounded like your poem, only I was always puzzled that I was left out of some inside joke, or understanding. Nice work :)
That dead air is preferable to the repetitive phrases of a stale relationship. The images in this piece are amazing, starting with that honey scraped across burnt toast - I feel like I have been there. The third stanza could stand alone in metaphor and message. Wonderful write, Sarah.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much, Rita...yes, sometimes silence truly is golden!
That was a definite maybe, then, Sarah? What part of no didn`t he understand? This is a sharp alliterative thought stream of exhasperation that makes me glad I wasn`t the object of your frustration! A fine, fluent read with great images. Well done, luv. P.
yes .. "Dead Air"
well said you rebel you!
seems i read in the Bible once or twice that there is nothing new under the sun ... we do get stuck in cycles it seems ...
even syfy has repeated themes ...
I also really enjoy the imagery in this piece
"that if I stood naked before your paper lantern
you could see straight through my skin"
is superb ...gets even better as one reads on...
nice job says i
E.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Cycles...always cycles...thank you so much, my friend!
What a beautiful style to complement your beautiful thoughts... Your poem carries a message to the reader, it moves our souls with both its pain and passion. Great work.
"She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire." - Charles Bukowski
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