60 Minutes From Sunrise

in metaphor you are perfection -

careless eyes cast down a narrow nose,

the hipsters would call you cool, but

I cannot seem to call you at all     anymore

 

some days I wonder if you are a delusion,

a hybrid creation of cross pollination

inside the mossy moorlands of my psychosis

 

but I am quite sure that one day you existed,

somewhere outside of me, because

I remember fragments of top-down drives,

lost scarves along the Pacific Coast Highway,

and moonlight     entire beaches glowing

with madness the color of hand-dipped starlight

 

you wear my words well     these days,

lines like tailored sport coats and jeans,

syllables giving texture to a phantom’s voice,

     this-is-forever, you said,

until it wasn’t, but I can still draw your smile

60 minutes from sunrise, between Castor and Pollux,

and that has to be enough     for now

Reviews

[Chandradhish Ghosh]

Hey nice work..."In metaphor you are perfection"...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"a hybrid creation of cross pollination"

super line...


metaphorically, this is beautifully created....such a sad end...but then i know this poem...i have been told forever...three times...and it was not a charm.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You too with the "three times" thing, huh? :) Thank you, Jacob!

[J. J. Nightingale]

I can still draw your smile

60 minutes from sunrise... I don't understand this line ...

Some very beautiful metaphors here .. I know about those forever feelings..
Story tellers with magic in their eyes.. making us believe the lies..


Favorite line; entire beaches glowing with madness the color of hand-dipped starlight...

Wow... You rock !! ..................Jazz

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I can still draw your smile,
60 minutes from sunrise, between Castor and Pollux, -- it's an astrological reference

I'm glad you found something to grasp onto in this one, my friend. Thank you!

[Colt Gallagher Kumm]

Superbly compelling and ultimately cogent; a truly modish writing!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

"modish"...haven't heard that one before, but I like it :) Thank you.

[asdarkeyesclose]

'I remember fragments of top-down drives,
lost scarves along the Pacific Coast Highway,'

sophisticated, full of impact, the poetry not difficult to find but full of heart-ache. lots of reading between the lines here and each stanza a bold statement adding to the picture
'this-is-forever, you said,
until it wasn’t,'
how poignant, how real life. i loved 'mossy moorlands of my psychosis', as well. i love how you layer the poetry always stretching limits. fantastic.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, my friend...I'm so glad you liked this one!

[Lydia Shutter]

Sarah, the images are so vivid in this write! I could picture a convertible driving at a high speed with a scarf blowing in the wind. Two lovers driving to a beach where "hand dipped starlight" would greet them. Such a romantic scene.....and such a poignant write. "This is forever until it wasn't"....such a slam dunk of a line! Excellent poetry. Lydi**

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, Lydi!

[Rita L. Sev]

with madness the color of hand-dipped starlight... A wonderful line in this piece.

The past is always somewhat of a delusion, distorted in our memory. Was he ever really that great? And now, does it matter? Writing conjures the past, and that is certainly enough when the writing is as vivid as this poem, Sarah...

[TL Boehm]

and moonlight entire beaches glowing
with madness the color of hand-dipped starlight

the sense of loss in this is tangible but I found myself lingering on those lines and just wanting to stay there.

[Leigh]

I love the moving dialog of broken love on the move and how your dreamy guy turns out to be not what you thought or just not enough. The title and last two lines sounded a bit like Johnny Cash for me, but then I relate a lot to music.