Amazing, just yesterday I was standing outside with a friend, he was talking and I was watching an ant trail on the concrete admiring their hard work and dedication, their ability to function as a single unit moving in both directions, performing their duties and I thought about their world. When my friend saw me looking down, he looked as well and then with one big foot, planted it in the middle of this factory of nature. It pretty much broke my heart as I watched them "scattering" frantically and wondered what they must be thinking. I smiled as I saw them eventually fall back in line and carry on as if nothing had happened. But it had, I know they were only ants, but I felt sorry for their fallen comrades. (I am weird like that) Why did I go off on a tangent like this, hell I don't know, your poem just told the same exact story in a much more beautiful way and I loved it.
Incredibly powerful metaphor here, Sarah. We can learn so much from watching nature rebuild. "tiny bodies will erase the past and rebuild a replica of their wrecked world" If only we could manage to do that after adversity changes the course of our lives. Wonderful write. Lydi**
What a vivid metaphor of never accepting defeat. The drive to move on and rebuild can elude us at times as we pull the covers over our heads. Ants have no such luxury:
but if I watch them long enough
the scattering will turn to unification
tiny bodies will erase the past and rebuild
a replica of their wrecked world
We are resilient...we just need to believe it to make it so. This is a fine poem, direct and quite effective.
Beautiful imagery!
Just something mundane like kicking over an anthill becomes an image of a titan laying waste to a civilization. And then it's rounded off nicely with that sensation of desire. It creates a curious analogue, though... God and man, man and insect - is it the desire for patience and resiliency or the power of industry which seems to be exemplified in a brief existence? I really enjoyed this one!
Someone on here once gave me the stellar advice---wait.
Okay, now onto the poem. I loved, loved, loved this one. I am a fan of your work, but this one blew me away. A very simple but well and beautifully-developed metaphor delivered a can't be missed message. Yes, there is always a rebuild. Really a superb poem. I don't normally grade, but you are getting a 100. Brava.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much, Pryde...I'm so happy that you enjoyed this one, I wasn't sure about it at first :.. read moreThank you so much, Pryde...I'm so happy that you enjoyed this one, I wasn't sure about it at first :)
"She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire." - Charles Bukowski
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