To Exist Outside

To Exist Outside

A Poem by Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

A walk would do me good, they said -

a brisk jaunt at water’s edge,

to stain my pale skin pink, and fill

my lungs with hopeful air.

 

Along the dock I found my stride,

avoiding the iridescent entrails of fish,

and discarded J-hooks, glinting,

like long abandoned jewelry.

 

I caught the rhythm of laughing men

casting lines into a muddy harbor,

and I imagined breathing easier beneath

that murky reflection of Eos’ indigo eyes.

 

Leave this cluttered chamber, they said -

you are fading into the papered walls,

wilting like a snipped Hyacinth, and strangely

it seemed, I traded one mausoleum for another,

 

as rough hands pulled curved metal

from wet throats, and together,

(the fish and I) our sides heaved, as we

tried desperately to exist in the wrong world.

© 2013 Girl Friday (Sarah W.)


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Reviews

As the son of a fisherman, this one really spoke to me. In fact, some of the very scenes you've presented here were experienced by me when I was younger. The last stanza was incredibly moving....I can't explain why but it nearly choked me up. I guess I'm just ultra-sensitive to such things these days. A beautiful, resonant piece my friend.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

11 Years Ago

Aaaww...well, i'm glad it hit you emotionally. I live near a fishing harbor, and I can't tell you h.. read more
kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

I just read it again and my guess would be the latter just based on this piece, though I can detect .. read more
'wilting like a snipped Hyacinth, and strangely
it seemed, I traded one mausoleum for another,'

some brilliant lines in this. i loved the whole scene, the walk by the water, the details you chose, the fish hook jewelry image stood out, as did the image of the sense of drowning on dry land, particularly poignant in the last stanza. my favourite i have read of yours so far, i just loved it. fantastic.




Posted 11 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

11 Years Ago

Thank you so much...I'm glad you felt this one!
This piece weighs heavy on my heart. I feel depression coming from the words, a desperate attempt to join another world (a nether world), only to feel panic there too...

Sarah, several years ago a colleague committed suicide by walking into the ocean... your poem brought her to mind... a powerful and very vivid poem.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

11 Years Ago

Thank you...though I am terribly sorry about your colleague. I have known people who have taken the.. read more
Great write! I’ve done a little bit of fishing and it can seem a cruel sport. When you catch something so very small that the whole experience is too much a shock and their lives force quickly drains away…
And sadly the world we occupy, for many of us can feel just as overwhelming.


Posted 11 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

11 Years Ago

Thank you so much, Mark!
The ending makes me think of the song Hook In Mouth by Megadeth.
We live in a world where we are only told what the Government and media wants us to know. That is the wrong world for all of us. More extraordinary poetry by you.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

11 Years Ago

Thank you, my friend. I like that you got what you did from this piece...not exactly what was inten.. read more
as rough hands pulled curved metal
from wet throats, and together,
(the fish and I) our sides heaved, as we
tried desperately to exist in the wrong world.

HOLY COW. I have felt for so long that I was in the wrong world - I just can't articulate what the right world would be....

Posted 11 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

11 Years Ago

Thank you so much, TL!
It's hard to exist within a place that's too treacherous for our well being. You've displayed this particular point well within this fine write. Great work Sarah. A fine write & read. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

11 Years Ago

Thank you, my dear!
Some places are about life
Others are about suffering
And about death
We can not survive the angry world
We must travel on
Be fed and nurtured ..and Loved..

This is an excellent poem .. Jazz

Posted 11 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

11 Years Ago

Thank you so much!
J. J.  Nightingale

11 Years Ago

You are welcome .. You deserve so much more than I am able jot down here .. You r a special writer .. read more
The 'Harbor' is traditionally, supposed to hold refuge from the tantrums of the blue-eyed Goddess, holding her back so that she can't spill upon the land any further. Your poem takes a walk on the edge of that madness, with graphic subtlety compounding the gravity of a 'fish out of water' story that pulls at the readers mental understanding of isolation and introversion like a 'J-Hook' in the mouth. Very well done. It made me think of a cat I had when I was a child. It was a wild barn kitten when I found him, but after months in the house, he had changed completely into a house cat and if we tried to put him outside, he would leap up on the outside of the screen door and cling there frantically. lol. Another great read, I do love your stuff.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

11 Years Ago

Haha Love your story! The frantically clinging cat...I see a poem there :)
Astro

11 Years Ago

It could be called 'The Cat With Many Names' for each one of us in the family had a different name t.. read more
I like the connection with the fish in the concluding stanza. You carry the metaphor throughout the piece quite well. 'I traded one mausoleum for another' -- great line!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

11 Years Ago

Thank you so much, K.

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Added on October 12, 2013
Last Updated on October 12, 2013

Author

Girl Friday (Sarah W.)
Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

The Beach, CA



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"She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire." - Charles Bukowski A NOTE TO MY FRIENDS: Thank you, everyone, who has supported me so kindly on this site. I am humbled by your kind revie.. more..

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