The Paradox of Remaining

diving beneath, under and after,

below the surface, but above the bottom --

I am trapped in the middle     a paradox of pondering:

all that I want is silence tonight

 

            so he closes the door,

            switches off the humming light,

            seals me inside like a lily in a glass jar,

                        but nothing changes

 

in the ink of midnight, I wonder if the monotony

of nowhere conversations is more worthwhile

than this unbalanced equilibrium, as I wait

for the future to toll like a church bell a noontide

 

            and I can hear him pacing,

            flat feet on hardwood     I imagine

            his head hangs low, like a broken bough,

                        but the doorknob doesn’t turn

 

if I keep following this process, each step will

become another, until I am marching in ascending circles

on my own Penrose Staircase     impossible to build,

but easy to invent, when perception is distorted

 

            he floods the room with white light,

            a shadow shape in startling silhouette,

            so I smile, manipulating reality one more time,

            because it is easier than facing the truth:

                        that the illusion is quickly crumbling

Reviews

[Horizon K.]

This makes me think of all the walls in the heart, and doors through, we may open and close as we like, and we may invite another to travel a path we have drawn through, yet it may lead to nowhere... And the denial... It is hard to let go, of illusions so sweet, or comfortable, or from yesterday... reality of feelings being an ever changing mood. You drew this so well here, these doors between two who are in the dark of thier relationship, suffocating, lost. And that sudden light that comes with another try, unabandoned hope, despite... And I love, those last three lines... A stellar piece, Sarah...

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you, my friend. This one was tough to write in a lot of ways, but it was necessary I think. I appreciate your words.

[Horizon K.]

those tough ones.... sometimes most important... take care Sarah. I always love reading you and thanks again for your advice.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the feeling sometimes is just not there anymore...it shatters, breaks apart...no amount of talking or trying will bring it back..

it is time to lock the door and just let it slink away...

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

So true, Jacob...thank you, once again!

[Frieda P]

Oh Friday, you've pen'd that stagnant relationship with acute precision, nothing earth shattering wrong, just nothing that keeps us wanting more either, stuck in our reality of this NOT that 'forever after' dream we envisioned, not willing to take that step to release us from those bonds either.... *heavy* sigh....

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you, Frieda...it was a difficult write for me, so I'm glad it touched you.

[Astro]

Relationships where we are willing to sacrifice in order to gain, envelop and dress us in a skin that defines us no longer as an individual, but by the connection we share with another or others. It is like a cult that you can never escape from and sometimes harbor guilt at the thought of leaving because you willingly entered upon it in the first place and you don't want to believe that what got you there has truly become something different. So you wear it, that skin and it doesn't fit so well anymore, to tight and constricting at times or overbearing and ever present at others. The strength to walk away doesn't necessarily mean that once the door is closed the skin is shed, no...but each step further away, each hour free from contact and each moment of silence that affords release, that skin begins to fall away, to dry up and even if you will never be rid of it completely, it no longer wears you, instead you wear it like a badge of honor rather than an identity. There is nothing wrong with building a Penrose Staircase that goes up and around but never gaining ground, as long as you also give yourself a door to walk through whenever you wish to leave. Only a strong person, would know herself so well as you describe in artful thoughts such as these Sarah. Touching and thought provoking.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, my dear :)

[Astro]

Welcome as always and always a treat.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you...it really does mean a lot to me.

[Ed Hart]

there are all kinds of cells...some have probation and parole, or maybe counceling...heart cells, we have to escape, no one lets us out...we must pay the price of our own broken heart, but after that the air gets fresher and fresher

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you Ed.

[Rikkevi Rue]

I particularly enjoy the variety of counterpoints that interplay throughout. Isn't it great when one can readily tap into his own subjective reality to contribute to the motion on as many levels as you stimulate on! Wonderfully thought provoking and inviting. Really superb work

[David Scott]

Oh my...
You slay me with soft whispered words...
I am touched to read this poetry in the early hours of a long night.
Your mind is one of the most lovely places I have visited in my travels.
My respect and gratitude.

[Mark Heathcote]

This is a fabulous poem that just improves with each reading, which all good poetry should.
The maze or the snared trap you build on so many different levels encases the whole poem start to finish; from - I am trapped in the middle.
And the Penrose Staircase, like an inescapable labyrinth. Great work I really enjoyed it.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wow as always your poetry magnificent... how you word everything delightfully unique...

You really dug in and created many layers on the concept of ignorance is bliss, or at least supposed to be. Also I am looking at how everyday we deal with what is right and wrong in every decision we make.