You're third stanza is extraordinarily moving. Those lines convey the burden of constant though, the continual dissection of reality into fragments. The speaker yearns to simply exist, be at peace with her being, and other entities.
I also like how you give example of precisely how your speaker dissects the world. All of those lines have vivid images, chock full of poetic merit. Although, they show how the speaker separates everything she knows without completely communing with the whole.
The final two lines of your last stanza read almost as a prayer, a wholehearted plea. It's so good to read you again.
Wow ... mind boggling . Its very well done but still way too beautiful for me to understand . Fourth paragraph totally out of this world . I could somehow imagine a willow could look like an inkblots but I may have to electrocute it with a 1000 bolts of electricity for my mind to grasp a better imagery.
Brilliant. These beautiful things in nature always seem to go unnoticed most of the time simply because they are always there. Only one that is as thoughtful as you are has this kind of want and need.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much, Shane...I've missed you around here lately! :( So glad to see you back and on m.. read moreThank you so much, Shane...I've missed you around here lately! :( So glad to see you back and on my page!
i wonder sometimes if i am simply my own worst impediment...afterall i know myself so well, i know what i can and cannot do...but maybe we don't know...perhaps capacity hides behind (underneath) assumption? the things we don't have to look for are so easily discarded, after all, it's not like we'll lose them, right? after a time of perpetual unrest, maybe it's best to forget everything we knew....for a day ;)
as usual, your words are full of solemn captivation...
CM.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you, CM...it's good to see you around here, and your words mean a lot.
Perhaps we're all supposed to see things differently? Maybe that's what makes the view of beauty the same as one's view of life: adds or subtracts shadows, corners, expanse, brightness, depths and fragility, etcetera. If we all saw purple or all saw variations, there's be no understanding of texture or emotion, maybe. Your range of analysis is quite incredible, you set out your opinions or/and thoughts and ask the reader not to agree but to think, to see more without excess, to see less with more feeling .. to stretch self into ' .. the curvature of night is ~ an opaque curtain embellished with backlit diamonds.' Brief or scant looks don't mean less they can be all-encompassing, studying intently can use too mind, not enough heart. Thus, different but no less worthy in either case. Surely?
You make me think, feel, wonder and, return. Thank you.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you for the kind and in depth review...I'm glad this one sparked so much in you!
Creates a compelling relationship in wanting to compare your perspective with anothers ("borrow your eyes"). Great perception and a power to articulate it--especially this line for me--"a snapshot -- that becomes a memory, as quickly as it was real:"
Oh Sarah. You can rip out my eyeballs and keep them. I have the opposite affliction. I tend to see everything in black and white.
It is because of this gift that you write about here that your writing is so full of imagery and texture.
"For just one day I want to borrow your eyes --
to see the world from the other side -- with perspective --
blind to everything except what reads as a Whole:"
I found this whole poem very profound. I was surprised to consider things I take for granted may not feel as significant to others or that they may be enthralled by how I interpret things in my unique light.
I love my writing, music and photography and am fortunate that they speak to me and I can express them to others. Perhaps one reason I spend so much time taking pictures is that I don't what to miss an experience. if I don't document it in some way, then I feel I will miss some particle of its full meaning.
You made me think on this with your speaking of wanting to see through different colors that what you now do - to borrow someone else's eyes.
"She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire." - Charles Bukowski
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