Erosion

with one hand, you held the granulated heart

            of our beach --

black like the grit of sand scraped from paper,

or pulverized coal just beginning to form diamond dust

 

I watched it slip through your ink stained fingers

in a shocking waterfall of wasted memories

 

each grain told a story, but they were lost to the breeze --

            laced fingers and lovesick eyes,  

            abalone shells glowing iridescent

            on Moonstone Beach,  the first time

            we tasted nirvana on our tongues

nothing more now than a pile of earth at our bare feet

 

because you forgot how to pronounce my name,

and I could no longer hear your voice when I cried

 

my own hands were not enough to gather the remains

            of our broken stars --

I watched the last trace of us linger above the tide line

before returning to the earth, where stolen moments

find lasting embrace in slowly eroding shores

Reviews

[Dana Alsamsam]

"I watched it slip through your ink stained fingers
in a shocking waterfall of wasted memories"

beautiful. beautiful. as we trade our sharing of poetry back and forth i can't help but mention again that we have so many similarities laced with distinct differences. i could see myself writing on this very same subject and metaphor. you've done it so well, though!

i love the separated italic section of the memories flowing through your mind. those unique images are what make it special. sand slipping though fingers...memories being washed away from the shores... incredible.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I agree, Dana...I think that is why I gravitate toward your writing! Thank you :)

[Elvis Gilley]

I am never amazed when I feel sorrow there is always a poem, or thought that lets me know I am not alone. I love this piece and it is my feelings today. Your imagery is amazing and although it is deep and revealing the length is perfect. I am so glad that you have chosen to share it with us my friend.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

"nothing more now than a pile of earth at our bare feet

because you forgot how to pronounce my name,

and I could no longer hear your voice when I cried"~ This is absolutely heartbreaking... expressed eloquently in your signature style... I love this, Sarah...Sheer perfection...

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, Robbie!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

It's my pleasure, Sarah. :)

[NA]

Oh this is so very beautiful...simply stunning as always...enjoyed :) x

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, my friend!

[Tomahawk Joe]

Well what can I say besides here's another great poem. Good work

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, my friend!

[Rafia ~ Yellow Girl]

laced fingers and lovesick eyes,
abalone shells glowing iridescent
on Moonstone Beach, the first time
we tasted nirvana on our tongues

Touched my heart whereas when i went through...
because you forgot how to pronounce my name,
and I could no longer hear your voice when I cried

I felt like crying. The vibes of sadism's felt in few of your writing which make me wonder lots of things... Though I found it such a sensitive piece...

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, your words mean a lot to me!

[Einstein Noodle]

great job! title to finish. all lines exquisitely impaling my heart one inch at a time until its pierced on an empty moonlit beach. no human presence; only waves lapping the shore. your poem has moved me. tears do remain in that long ago healed place. your writing has put me in touch again...what a wonderful poem.
E.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, my friend! You are such a supportive reviewer, and I truly appreciate your words :)

[Dr. Wood ?]

well you certainly have a way with this wonderful language...It is reading work such as this that makes me realise how lucky we are to have such a rich variety of words at our disposal...Difference though between you and me is that YOU always seem to place them so perfectly..I hope that makes sense..I have just woken up and sleep is still shuffling around inside my head looking for a place to hide

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, my friend.

[shallimarRose]

"with one hand, you held the granulated heart
of our beach --"
"the first time
we tasted nirvana on our tongues"

Stellar poem.. gorgeous lines.. xo

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, Shallimar!

[icelandicblue]

This took my breath away. Your description of the demise of this relationship is exquisitely painful and your images are so vivid and unique. I love these lines:

I watched it slip through your ink stained fingers
in a shocking waterfall of wasted memories

When I grow up I want to write like you LOL. ; )

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You humble me! I'm so glad you liked this one...it means so much to me, especially coming from someone I admire. Thank you!