Erosion

with one hand, you held the granulated heart

            of our beach --

black like the grit of sand scraped from paper,

or pulverized coal just beginning to form diamond dust

 

I watched it slip through your ink stained fingers

in a shocking waterfall of wasted memories

 

each grain told a story, but they were lost to the breeze --

            laced fingers and lovesick eyes,  

            abalone shells glowing iridescent

            on Moonstone Beach,  the first time

            we tasted nirvana on our tongues

nothing more now than a pile of earth at our bare feet

 

because you forgot how to pronounce my name,

and I could no longer hear your voice when I cried

 

my own hands were not enough to gather the remains

            of our broken stars --

I watched the last trace of us linger above the tide line

before returning to the earth, where stolen moments

find lasting embrace in slowly eroding shores

Reviews

[Anand Sehgal]

A pensive piece. A phase of self- refinement going on it seems :D

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

It is a constant evolution...ebbing and flowing... Thank you.

[kublakhan27]

I know how personal all of your poetry is, but this one really has me picturing you going deep within yourself to pull out such devastating imagery...the metaphors are flawless, I only wish I could say the same about the couple you tell us about here...my heart and even my tears go out to this speaker, whoever she may be...

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I appreciate your heart...thank you, my friend...

[Libby McKeown]

This reminds me of a memory I am sure I never had. Your word choice and imagery are confident and palpable without being dramatic. I do think it could use some "thinning" here and there, for more impact.

It's like a black and white photograph. My favorites :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I appreciate your review!

[Trace]

This is simply beautiful. Love the imagery here, and the sense of loss is palpable. Trace

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you, Trace, your words mean a lot!

[MsJewel]

...where stolen moments find lasting embrace in slowly eroding shores...My favorite line in a poem that I will read again and again. The imagery is incredible - the poem - perfection. :) Julie

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

thank you so very much, Julie!

[Brannon]

I got to give it to you again. You made my mouth drop on that one, rock on keep em coming. You are amazing writer.
Thank you,
Brannon

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, Brannon!

[Sasha]

wow !
I loved this part "my own hands were not enough to gather the remains
of our broken stars -- "

Amazing !

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, Sasha...you humble me!

[Patrick]

isn't iridescent such a fantastic word..i would like to use it more myself.
Your dramatic sketches of emotion are so well crafted here...lovely piece

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you, P.J. I do love iradescent...and opalescent...and oppulent...okay, I just love language :)

[Tom]

I read this as a once beautiful love between two people, that has somehow dwindled and faded and despite the heartbreak involved, there is little that can be done by either partner to retrieve an irretrievable, hopeless situation ! To phrase it in a nut shell, 'the fire has gone out' !

Poignant yet soulfully composed !

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You read as I had intended...thank you! :)

[Tate Morgan]

The broken heart and lost dreams are so evident in this piece and so it goes with us dreams made then shattered by our frail spirits

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, Tate :)