Imitation of Empathy

when I revealed to him

that my love was a primal estuary --

            a pulsing artery

            emerging from the nucleus

            of creation’s womb

he retrieved a silver flask from his pocket

and began taking all that he could carry

 

when I revealed to him

that my love was a foundation stone --

            the core of my inner temple

            where muses worshiped

            in samite mantles and bare feet

he produced a rust-red chisel and began to carve

a goddess statue -- in my image --

but he cut too deeply and my heart wept

a pool of sacrificial starlight

 

when I revealed to him

that my love was an orchard in summer bloom --

            I ached for him to breathe

            beneath the bowers, listening

            to the whispers of my fragile leaves

instead he chose to scale my branches,

reaching for the ripest fruit without regard

for the bruised petals beneath his blind feet

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

Damn... you seem to have exposed a part of my soft underbelly. In reflection, perhaps the flask was only a sort of false courage; for the cowardice - what man would not tremble in the presence of the goddess? The scraping of harsh, rusty iron upon virgin marble is less forgiveable but none the less a pathetic attempt to construct a more enduring form of acrostic for what the eyes of man can never, ever fully see. But, it is the bountiful and cruel insensitivity that presupposes life must always have a goal and only the "ripest fruit" is worthy of such endeavor... a confirmation of that base nature as all possess. I am wont to gather up those bruised petals and embrace them as tenderly as is possible for they are the essence of life's glory; so beautiful, so fragile, so fleeting. For me, you've done well with this one, Sarah.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, my friend. I am always so happy when I touch upon something that gets to you emotionally. Your words mean a lot.

[Mark]

I like the fresh imagery here. The look at male vs female love is archetypal and shown with a sense of trying to understand a why that is perhaps not understandable. Very well done imo

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I'm glad you read into this one so deeply...thank you, Mark!

[Horizon K.]

There is a delicacy revealed here, a want to be appreciated, as a true poet might read a poem, each tender detail understood for what it is and what it is meant to be... instead this devouring man tramples the garden in his excitement to possess such a lovely thing, carve it into his own, consume it entirely. How sad... that in blindness, something so beautiful that could have been had, is instead destroyed... Beautiful write, Sarah...

[Clara]

Wonderful write, Sarah. I loved each and every stanza and felt that I could relate to it too. This is how I interpreted it:

The first stanza describes your love - gentle, womanly and precious. Your love was your capacity to expose a sweet vulnerability that you revealed to him, but in his greed, he treated it like a commodity and tried to take it all. The second describes your heart, your soul and his attempts to change your person - which caused great heartache. The last stanza describes a physical offering, where you yearned for him to take the time to delight in you but instead, he just reached for the 'ripest fruit'.

To me, this poem describes a lot about what can happen in relationships from a woman's perspective. Brilliant as always.

[Lydia Shutter]

The emotions in this poem are powerful. Too often people do not realize the damage they bruise our hearts and souls. The metaphors in this poem are stunning. I liked the three italicized lines in each stanza which could actually be poems in and of themselves. Elegantly written, Sarah. Lydi**

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I'm glad you enjoyed this one, Lydia!

[Amy]

Unfortunately the blind feet could not see those beautiful petals that had been bruised. This is a great write. :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much for stopping by, and I'm glad you liked this one!

[Amy]

You are very welcome. :)

[B-poet]

Who'd ever thought love would taste as sweet as a fruit hanging from a tree called loving empathy. Great work again Girl Friday. A uniquely written & riveting poem. :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much!

[Frieda P]

"Beneath his blind feet", that one line is a poem in itself, sublime imagery and the sadness and pain is palpable on your page Friday....always grand emotions that spill from your pen with metaphorical genius!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I'm glad you really read into this one, Frieda...thank you.

[Emily B]

oh, Sarah . . . there are no words for how these words made my heart ache

[Jack...]

So very sad, some only see the bloom and fail to notice the strength of the stem, the patterns of the leaves or the roots which find the earth so deep. You have expressed this so well in your poem. Very nice.

[Karl Woof Junior]

superb combination between love and existentialism