A superb depiction here of inner turmoil, possible frusturation and depression. I felt you were on a journey in this one. Trying to find yourself whilst along the way picking up baggage. The emtying of the sand is a metaphor I believe.....that heavy feeling that you need to get rid of to move on and try, try again.
Regards
Troy
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
You nailed the "inner turmoil" feeling in this one...I'm glad you enjoyed it, Troy. Means a lot to .. read moreYou nailed the "inner turmoil" feeling in this one...I'm glad you enjoyed it, Troy. Means a lot to me!
I do love this... The images you plant with buoys lost at sea, pebbles in my head, pouring a desert from shoes... Incredible. And this so speaks to me... The acknowledgement of being lost, hopeless... And the attempt to talk yourself, write yourself out of these feelings... I am right now, in this very same place... Thank you Sarah.
Horizon
I took this to be about self doubt and depression and how it can sometimes make us feel that the road we are walking us either the wrong one, or pointless...
Its something people like you and I have to struggle with regularly, and it isn't easy..
You capture it here very well I indeed.
But then you take a moment. You empty your shoe of all that sand (your self doubt) and you push on.
Because you have to...
BP
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much, my friend. It comes and it goes, but there is always time to empty your shoes an.. read moreThank you so much, my friend. It comes and it goes, but there is always time to empty your shoes and keep moving forward.
The way you use those short one word lines in this piece is masterful. Each of those little lines carries so much weight and sets up the next idea in the poem in such an exquisite way. The last two stanzas are my favorite part in this one. The metaphor of the moon is great, and so is the idea of steadily waiting..."Steady hands make for a sturdy heart"...great line!
Also, I like how you personify doubt in this poem. You give it a physical force capable of moving the speaker of this piece (Great simile to describe what that is like in the first stanza).
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you, Christian...I truly appreciate your words. You really read into this one and took your t.. read moreThank you, Christian...I truly appreciate your words. You really read into this one and took your time; I appreciate it!
Patience is indeed a virtue, one in which I lack (haha).
I loved how the words ebb and flow with each stanza as we gain some insight into your thoughts and daily life. Well-penned, my friend. :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
I lack it as well, most of the time...thank you so much, Lola!
This beautifully composed poem reminds me of a quote from Shakespeare’s play Measure for Measure; Act 1. Scene 4:
“Our doubts are traitors , and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” And so we bravely attempt against all odds as we must. "How high the Moon?"
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Aaahh...perhaps I did remember something subconciously from all those classes I took on Shakespeare .. read moreAaahh...perhaps I did remember something subconciously from all those classes I took on Shakespeare in college...haha Thank you, my friend.
"She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire." - Charles Bukowski
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