The Wishmaker

Upon allowing him entrance to the blooming grove

of her complicated -- over saturated -- psyche,

an ivy-laced gate was pushed aside -- one that

could never be barred by the hands of another man.

 

            gravity itself drew them together --

            two objects with enough magnetic mass

            to tip the earth from her orbit

           

Knowing was immediate, as the last lonely wing-beat

of a hummingbird, and she trifled with the timing

before understanding the exodus of her past lives --

because they were all wiped away by his hands.

 

            she was in it now -- completely --

            pupils dilated to the possibilities

            of what hands upon flesh can do

 

Eventually there was nothing left to define --

everything had been done, the stars all had names

and every inch of the sky had already been traversed

by the wandering feet of their love-making eyes.

 

            she wrote him poetry by the light of candles,

            as he taught to her lost languages, and

            traced his name in the curve of her throat          

 

She was a tulip still forming the golden cup of maturity

when a Pacific breeze blew him into her off-kilter axis,

answering prayers she uttered only by the light of the moon,

proving that midnight wishes are not always ill-spent. 

Reviews

[Dana Alsamsam]

that third stanza and the image of the hummingbirds wings flitting along with his hands wiping away the scars of her past life is so incredible. that part really resonated with me! third to last stanza is so bittersweet- the love making had taken them on adventures, yet now all of the mystery has fallen from the stars in the sky (this reminds me of a piece i wrote a while back called semblance) this piece is absolutely lovely.

[Dean]

My own humming birds--as I watch them daily just outside me window, persist in teaching me-- though I am far from a neophyte lover. In this poem, the man and his predecessors have their turn, but she is the dominant one now. She gained experience--now she KNOWS. The poem leads us, and her, at the beginning, from tentative feelings, to celebration!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Dean, you are so thoughtful. Thank you!

[SteveB]

Beautifuly structured with the poem inside a poem offering exquisite counterpoint.

I see that a few lines have already been pointed out so let me mention the 5th stanza. I loved the image of "the wondering feet of their lovemaking eyes"

You have pianted a magnificent portrait of a young girl entering womanhood. With taste, grace, and style. A truly outstanding piece.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I'm glad you liked this one, Steve!

[Trace]

It is a wonderful gift you possess in your writing. truly enjoyed how you were able to see the story told, and present it in such a beautiful poem. very nice. trace

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, Trace!

[icelandicblue]

You have such talent. I am mesmerized my your words. You make me want to be a better poet. This is just so beautifully crafted. I am enamored by the entire piece but especially these words:

she wrote him poetry by the light of candles,
as he taught to her lost languages, and
traced his name in the curve of her throat


She was a tulip still forming the golden cup of maturity
when a Pacific breeze blew him into her off-kilter axis,
answering prayers she uttered only by the light of the moon,
proving that midnight wishes are not always ill-spent.

A stunning piece of poetry Sarah.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, my friend!

[ShelleyA]

A lovely write. Elegant verse. I like the romance of the piece. Vivid imagery, flow and tone. Beautiful metaphor; very good descriptive/comparison. Lovely depth of feeling. Delightfully sensual. I especially like these lines:
"gravity itself drew them together --
two objects with enough magnetic mass
to tip the earth from her orbit"
Very good closing verse. Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, Shelley!

[ShelleyA]

You're welcome Sarah. Have a great day!

[Pryde Foltz]

So many lovely images here.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so very much, my friend!

[Ken Simm.]

I paticularly like the words in a minor key. The italics give this an undercurrent that moves it and the reader onto further layers, larger stages. The whole work is written, as I've come to expect from you, by an erudite writer who has the skill to imprint her thoughts however broad or complex, on the readers mind, indelibly.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much...I worked on this one for a long time. First it did not have the italics and I hated it, but once I added those stanzas then I really began to feel it. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[sanya]

awestruck by this. this is a super fine piece of writing

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You are very sweet...thank you so much!

[Richard]

I added some hearts in there ... but for some reason it didn't show them ... some emoticon hearts ha

[Richard]

this is adorable
I feel like this particular website is run by strong women ha it's very, it's a great thing ... all the best poets are women :)
but if I may say, it gives a very in depth look from .. it's very personal this is, very tuliped and moonbeamed ... I don't quite know where I'm going with this, but in short it's just the sweetest and you're prolific to say the least Sarah you just keep on churning out gems I truly mean it you're a sweetheart of the poetry world and in writing in general

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, Richard! I am humbled you enjoyed it so much! Your words are so sweet and kind...and the hearts would have bene a nice touch, but I know they were meant to be there so that's enough :)