The Wishmaker

Upon allowing him entrance to the blooming grove

of her complicated -- over saturated -- psyche,

an ivy-laced gate was pushed aside -- one that

could never be barred by the hands of another man.

 

            gravity itself drew them together --

            two objects with enough magnetic mass

            to tip the earth from her orbit

           

Knowing was immediate, as the last lonely wing-beat

of a hummingbird, and she trifled with the timing

before understanding the exodus of her past lives --

because they were all wiped away by his hands.

 

            she was in it now -- completely --

            pupils dilated to the possibilities

            of what hands upon flesh can do

 

Eventually there was nothing left to define --

everything had been done, the stars all had names

and every inch of the sky had already been traversed

by the wandering feet of their love-making eyes.

 

            she wrote him poetry by the light of candles,

            as he taught to her lost languages, and

            traced his name in the curve of her throat          

 

She was a tulip still forming the golden cup of maturity

when a Pacific breeze blew him into her off-kilter axis,

answering prayers she uttered only by the light of the moon,

proving that midnight wishes are not always ill-spent. 

Reviews

[Dana Alsamsam]

that third stanza and the image of the hummingbirds wings flitting along with his hands wiping away the scars of her past life is so incredible. that part really resonated with me! third to last stanza is so bittersweet- the love making had taken them on adventures, yet now all of the mystery has fallen from the stars in the sky (this reminds me of a piece i wrote a while back called semblance) this piece is absolutely lovely.

[Einstein Noodle]

one of the most moving and passionat poems i have read here ..love that second verse ..so full of intensity ..your "woman" gives me insights and your "man" makes me wish i knew what he does ;) what a wonderful read for me!
E.

[Traci]

A very sensual and brilliant write.

she wrote him poetry by the light of candles,
as he taught to her lost languages, and
traced his name in the curve of her throat

Lovely imagery with heartfelt emotions throughout. Truly another gem … adding to favorites.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you, Traci...see, i can do happy on occasion ;)

[Traci]

Yes you can, and I like happy :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

all i can do is "sigh"

another gem...

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You humble me, Jacob. I'm so glad you enjoyed this one :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i knew this comment is pretty useless in a constructive criticism kind of way...but why mess with something that is already said perfectly.

[ba_mcfarlane]

"" she wrote him poetry by the light of candles,
as he taught to her lost languages, and
traced his name in the curve of her throat ""

This is high art....gorgeous,talent laden, passionate...I love it!!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Many thanks, my friend! your words mean a lot to me.

[J. J. Nightingale]

This is full with reaching .. and finding
And holding close all the wonders of love's wishing heart

I remember touching stars .. and I remember the floating descent
We found each other there
Amongst the heavens ..

Maybe there is no more to discover .. and maybe there is ..

Wonder-full !! Jazz

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, my friend!!!!

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome .. :)

[TL Boehm]

This is love on an epic level. It is brilliant and lofty and highly original writing yet there are moments that anyone would understand - if that makes sense. You take the commonalities of something and you spin it to a fine luster.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I always try to do that...to make the intangible tangible, you know? Thank you so much, TL; I so much appreciate all the time and effort you take in reading my work.

[Fernando Dardón]

This love poems is full of metaphores. I wonder what those lost languages are. I llikeed the way you describe the mark his love leaves on her. Hope someday i,ll be such aas good with metaphores as you aaree :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, Javier...your words humble me!

[Fernando Dardón]

(sorry for spelling, i'ts hard to write when when the page doesn't have support for mobiles :D)

[Angi]

Sarah, what a simply breathtaking piece! We all want this kind of love, this kind of learning about what love can do. '...wandering feet of their love-making eyes.' What a magical line this is! Lovely. Angi~

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you so much, Angi!

[David Scott]

Sarah, you write from the heart of the feminine experience in young love.
Oh, how I would love to write a response to this in the masculine voice. Only, your voice begs for a silent acceptance of something that was and forever will be just is it was. Nothing more and nothing less. Even as the days change and the lovers part ways, the experience is all "her" own and somehow perfectly so.

Now the actual choice of metaphors and how the lines blending into phrases grabs me by the heart as well.

I like the three lines set within the main theme as commentary on the experience as well.

You show the fertility of the "garden" of youth "over saturated" with nutrients and water along with a sense of escape from a self imposed prison of obedience or learned habits in the "ivy-laced gate" no other man will bar.
You show futility in trying to time the beating of a hummingbirds wings.
You bring the story to a climax in the fifth stanza with two more stanza's left to be the afterglow of the lovemaking. I found this fifth stanza profound. When the act is satisfied it can be a disappointment or it can be like, "every inch of the sky had already bee traversed by the wandering feet of their love-making eyes." I loved this line.

The ending did not let me fall either. Your gentle release of the reader was a gift. One of the best features of the poem was how I felt as I read the last line. I felt the thought "tucked in" and kissed gently into place.

Very strong poetry Sarah. I hope this one is in one of your books!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I would love to see a masculine version of this one, especially by you David!

[David Scott]

just finished it... humbly, not near the quality of your write, but a heartfelt response non the less. "The Dreamer"