Beautiful Decay

Sorry if you find this a little bit long but i could not contain what i have been feeling inside and i just had to pour it all out...

You were just a fragile angel masked in imperfection

Whispered by the heavens to not last in this life

Now I live with the misery of pain of your absence

As I rip myself from the inside in hunt for a reason

On what’s the meaning of this if you won’t get to read it

 

Forgive me that I could not attend your burial

I could not stand the sight of the dark clouded crowd

I just wish you told me you were about to leave

At least I would be freed from this wretched mortality

To be in the next world we imagined as always together

 

Everybody is unsighted to the load that weighs me down

They keep on saying that I am holding to what’s gone

What if the past is the only present you have to live?

What if tomorrow holds nothing for it seeks freedom too?

To me the wine in this golden cup no longer tastes sweet

 

I wish I’d convince you it is not too late to stay alive

For I have become nothing but a sailor without a map

Please please promise me if I die tonight and join you

That in the after life you’ll for eternity stay alive

But if you ever decide to leave again, let me live with you

 

No bullet have I encountered can hush the scar in my brain

Each night I am enslaved by nightmares of our memories

I wake up drowning and fighting for air in the pool of my tears

When I stay awake reality cuts every edge of life trapped in me

Please come salvage me from this nightmare I am drowning into

 

I hope tonight I will find strength to sleep into a comatose

Maybe overdose of Vicodin and Prozac to keep me asleep forever

For I am out to search for a near death experience

Just for a night to be near you and near the ones behind

For I seek a chance to know that you are in safe hands

 

I loved it when people nicknamed us The Misery Misfits

Tell me the next world is real like in the movie Lovely Bones

Do you hold memories of how we wanted to be in a psychic ward?

But now I am alone in a medium ward, it totally sucks

For they put me to sleep whenever I scream I miss you

 

People will never understand how lovely you were

For you did put out your light before you shone bright

I hope you get to read this and cry just as I am

Not because it is your final poem embossed with pain

But because you wish I was there with you

 

Today I met the popular kids who used to bully us

Wearing false grievance masked with regrets

They even told me to go hang out with them tonight

I guess finally your death has robbed butterflies their color

Finally the owls find the reason to sleeping at night

 

To the rest of the world out there literate to read

I wish these words were a half empty of what I feel inside

You seize the life of your loved ones in your flimsy palms

Taking away your life steals away more than just one life

For now I bid fare-thee-well to my sanity and my best friend

 

I guess you’ve finally given me a Walk To Remember

I smile through tears knowing I encountered an angel

“Don’t call me an angel,” you always said.

“All these angels are only here for a moment.”

Here in my last words I kiss your shadows goodbye

 

As the rest say Rest In Peace you’ll be missed,

For me Return If Possible I miss you

R.I.P & I love You

©g!o.inked

 

Author's Note

...inspired by real life events and two songs; Never Too Late by Three Days Grace and Dear God by Avenged Sevenfold. This is to all who have lost loved ones through depression and society pressure. Please learn to accept people as they are...we aren't gold to fold to whatever you want, we ain't perfect and just 'cause you are strong not all of us are strong...

Reviews

[James William Dyer]

Grief is always the best subject matter. I'm so sorry for your loss. length in either direction doesn't indicate that the poem is good or bad. There's a lot here. And I'm sure it's a structure you'll tinker and tampewr with over time. Any changes to be made here are best left up to you, I think.

[G!o]

Thank you so much Dyer....

[R.O.M.E.T.S.I.]

:,( tear

[G!o]

Sorry...i hope you "enjoyed" it though...

[R.O.M.E.T.S.I.]

I did. Just sad.

[Zeph]

very well written and insperational :D
100/100

[G!o]

Thank you Zeph...

[Leslie Philibert]

This is a poem that not only convinces with truth and real feelings, but as a piece of literature is really excellent. The use of the words gives me the impression (a true story?) that you write about a young person with mental problems who ended his/her own life. This is a magnificent poem, really good, poems like this are a pleasure to review, quality writing.

[G!o]

Thank you Leslie, i am really honored that you really liked it. Writing this poem was really a journey for me...i wanted to write it as a story or letter but i decided to put it in the field i am best at..poetry...anyway, thanks again for the generous support

[Hester Vane]

So poingant and superb! I cant say much more! Brilliant again Gio

[G!o]

Thank you Hester...

[Balkaran Sidhu]

Oh this is so beautiful...though a bit sad but its true...tell you what i somehow managed to control my tears after reading this...great write

[G!o]

Thanks Balkaran...it was really tricky for me to write this too, penning it down called for me to feel the exact pain and it was really a tough moment but i'm glad you loved it...

[Balkaran Sidhu]

I read in ur profile that you have some scars to show...and my word..you're doing great..! Keep going

[G!o]

Thank you so much...

[Pratik]

This is a very well worked on piece.. I see a lot of effort has been put into this.. Might be too elaborate considering the theme that it portrays, but again they might be the necessities for building an effective picture... I liked the fact that this wasn't a piece totally dedicated to lamenting the loss.. but at the same time it talks about the details of the equation that the protagonist shared with his loved one and at the same time it talks about a hope of reunion.. a very moving poem with a broad emotional range.. Liked it :)

[G!o]

Yes i had to really put my heart in this and feel the moment and become the poem for me to pen this down. Thank you for such a generous comment Aaran...

[The Flame of the Knight]

Wow. G!o, this is an amazing poem. It seems to reach out to the very soul and the pain of losing a loved one. Its a great piece. Keep up he good work.
P.S. i love those two songs.

[G!o]

Thank you Flame...i always listened to the songs and when i related them to some stuff that happened, i always felt broken inside and burning with these words...totally my top ten songs.

[The Flame of the Knight]

Sometimes, those songs are the best. The ones that actually speak to what has hapened. I hope things get better for you.