Internal Reaction

My experience being bullied and how the school tells students to contain themselves and tell a teacher rather than stand up for themselves

"You're so fat. Oh my god gross, do you own a mirror? You're ugly ginger. Kill yourself. Why is your skin so white? Satanist. Evil. Hideous. Worthless. Why were you born? Freak. Die."

Thank you for your kind words today

What would I do without them circulating through my brain?

I'll simply smile and walk away

Trying to hide my internal pain

What's it they say about sticks and stones?

I think I'd rather have you break my bones

Because bones can heal

Words leave imprints in my mind

One of these days you may find

You don't know how bad you make me feel

But I can't cry because it makes me feel weak

I'm supposed to ignore, so I don't dare speak

I'll hold it in, the pain inside

I smile and I'm okay on the outside

But my internal reaction

That's a different story

Is it worth your satisfaction?

That I'm dying slowly

Tick tick boom

There's no room to be optimistic

My arm hurts now that I've given in

I am so pathetic

But it all builds up and there's no other way

Internal reaction

Your words fuel

My little friend that's with me

You are so cruel

I already know I'm ugly

So could you stop now

I already hate myself

Your work is done go somewhere else

I might just kill myself tonight

If I have to face another fight

With just me, myself, and I

I already want to die

Why don't you ever shut up?

I've heard it all before there's nothing else that you can call me

I'll just give up

But every time I try someone always stops me

And I can't cry

I can't die

So I guess I'll lie

I promise I'm okay

Could you just go away?

I promise I'll eat today

I'll laugh and I'll get better

On the outside I will smile forever

But my internal reaction

That's a different story

Is it worth your satisfaction?

That I'm dying slowly

Tick tick boom

There's no room to be optimistic 

My arm hurts now that I've given in

I am so pathetic 

But it all builds up and there's no other way

Internal reaction

Reviews

[Kurayami]

I've never been bullied "properly" but I can certainly feel it when someone is judging me and not making friends with me because they think I'm not good enough for them. Please don't die. Live on. There are other things out there worth living for. You've got me as a friend.

~Kurayami

[GingerPocky]

Thank you for your review :)