Songs Bring Memories Forth

Just a few notes

Of the song you showed me

Bring the memories flowing.

Drowning me in sorrow

Suffocating me,

The memories of you,

The memories of happiness,

Break me over and over again.

My glass heart has broken,

Shattered to dust,

Never to be whole again.

This is the effect you have on me,

This is what you have done to me,

This is what happens every time I listen

The song you once showed me,

Proving your feelings,

Now drowns me in darkness.

Reviews

[Imara]

Wow! I love this a great deal! I know exactly how you feel, like so much. I connect with this poem wonderfully and I'm sure that others will to because so many young men and women have had this done to them. Ok enough praise onto an actual review of this.
I think this would flow better with longer lines, I know what you're going for in the way in which you want us to read it but remember a new line does not equal a pause a punctuation mark does. And you mark are perfect, the only thing these lines do here are make me pause a little bit longer which makes it sound more choppy than I think you want when read aloud. The part where you start each line with "This is..." Would be the one thing I would suggest keeping in the same format.
There are no spelling errors, there is almost no grammar in poetry :)
I think there are a few lines that could be fixed, for over all meaning. Like you last three lines. I think your word choice could be different like the "The.." Could be changed to "This" To continue the flow of repetition. I also think you'd like to expand in some of your lines the joy that this song brings you from those memories and that's why it hurts so much. Yknow? It'll also draw in those who have yet to experience something like this, with something broad we can all relate to and will just bring out the emotions even more.
I love this so much, it's so raw and powerful and true. I sense great talent in you, this is great. :)

[Kenzi Griffin]

Thank yew!!!

[HeavenSunArcadez]

I Loved this, filled with live emotion, i could definitely feel this as i was reading.... I enjoyed this alot ...only wish it was longer cause i wanted to read more... but great work indeed. much respect

HeavenSun

[InsanityWriter]

So powerful and full of emotion! Excellently written piece... :)

[N!LoC]

:-)