UNFULFILLED PROMISES

 UNFULFILLED PROMISES

Psalm 121: 1-3

 

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. 2) My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. 3) He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.

 

          After my high school years, I was not able to enroll in college for a year because my only chance to continue my studies was here in Cebu City, but I hated Cebu that much at that time, because of what happened to my brother. I really looked up to him. Before he left for college in Cebu, he was so faithful in church; he served as an assistant to the Pastor in our church. But the world choked him, he became a drug addict and returned home very sick. So I promised to myself that I will never ever go to this place anymore. At that time, my Pastor Grandpa just recovered from his near-death illness experience. All of his children were there for him because they thought that he’s going to die  as what the doctor said, in fact they were told to bring him home and wait for his last day to come. But surprisingly he recovered when my uncle forced him to defecate with his fingers. The problem of my grandfather was, he wasn’t able to defecate for more than a month already, but when my uncle forced him to defecate and helped him with his fingers, the goat-like dung fell off, and after that his defecation became regular. So, they went back to the hospital for check up, and then the doctor said, that truly, it was a miracle!

       My grandfather narrated to the family that during his near-death experience, he had a dream, the LORD told him that he has to settle his family. Everyone cried and decided to forgive each other. After that they decided to go back to their own houses, but they made sure that someone will take care of my grandparents, and because I was the only one who was available at that time, they picked me. At first I was so afraid, because I was thinking that my grandfather didn’t like me because of my naughty-act experience with him. One day, while he was strolling around in the garden, when I saw him and found him so cute with his cap on his head, wearing his knee-length short pants and polo shirts, with a cane in his hand, I laughed and said to him, “Wow Lo, you look so ” japorms”! “ He got so angry with me and said, “You disrespectful child, I don’t want to see your face again here!”  I did not expect that he would respond that way, because I knew in my heart that what I meant was, he looked so cool, but he was offended, so I also promised to myself that I will not go back to that place anymore. So, when they opted to pick me, I was expecting an objection from my grandpa, but he did not. I did not say “NO” too, because at that time, I really hated staying at home, because almost every day my parents were fighting. I was looking for peace. I was tired of listening all the fights. So I took care of my grandparents for 8 months, until one of my aunts decided to take them, and take care of them. My days, weeks, and months with my grandparents were so amazing and full of fun! I sang with actions in front of them almost every day after they took their meal, pretending that I was holding a microphone and having a concert with Don Moen’s songs. I remember their happy faces, sometimes my grandma will say  with a smile on her face “Hoist, enough! The vein in your neck might break.” Every time we’re on the long table for meal, it was a story time for us.  My grandparents were seated apart from each other, I was in the middle sitting like a referee. Since my grandma has difficulty in hearing, I have to reiterate everything to her whatever my grandpa would say. The best story they shared was their love story. My grandpa was still strict, he didn’t like me to go out, but sometimes I sneaked out while they were sleeping and go to my aunt’s house to watch TV, but my grandpa outsmarted me, as I went home, he was already waiting for me. He hid himself behind the door, and then surprised me with “Aha!” It was one of the funniest experiences for me. He didn’t really get mad at me; I remember his face, laughing boisterously when he saw my reaction, I was really scared. My cousins knew about it, just like my grandpa, they also laughed. I really had so much fun with them, that’s why when my aunt decided to take them, I was really sad, because not only that I’ll be missing them, it also meant that I have to go back home. Oh I can’t imagine hearing all the fights again. My life with my grandparents was so peaceful. But I didn’t know that God had already prepared something new for me. The day before I went back to our house, the sister of my father from Cebu arrived; she encouraged me to come here in Cebu to finish my studies. She promised me that if I’ll come, she’ll support me. I did not expect myself that I agreed with her right away, maybe because at that time, to be living again in our house was unimaginable than leaving for Cebu, the place that I hated so much!  So, I said yes to her.

      What’s more interesting was, the week before I left Bukidnon, we heard a news that there was a huge fire in Sambag 1, specifically in Kabulihan site where the ancestral house of my father situated. I was thinking that maybe it wasn’t the will of God for me to go, but few days later my aunt said that everything was okay; the house was spared from fire. So I went. I took the exam in CNU, and because of my poor background in elementary and high school, I did not really make it. I belonged to the waiting list applicants, meaning I have to wait for others to back out and withdraw. So I waited. Praise God! Many did not enroll, so the wait ended, and I was able to enroll. The first semester was very okay, I received my allowance from my aunt regularly, but after the death of my father, she stopped supporting me. But I praise God for using my uncle, the brother of my father. It was him who talked to the cashier to let me enroll for the second semester. It was really a tough year for me, but God was with me.

            Before I arrived in Cebu, the foundation of my faith was established already in Bukidnon. I praise God for my mother who stood firm in her faith regardless of her shaky relationship with my father. She’s a prayerful woman. I could surely attest to that, in fact it’s one of the reasons why my father got irritated with her. She regularly wakes up early to spend time with the Word of God. At first, it was only my mother, who went to church, but because of the Pastor and the Bible Woman’s persistence in visiting us, two of my siblings finally followed her. It took some time for me to join them, because of my insecurities. I praise God for the Bible Woman who did not give up on me. It all started with food. She invited me to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner with her. Then, she introduced me to her big family, brought me to her family picnics, something that I admired very much. Her relationship with her family was so awesome. I envied her. But she told me that it wasn’t like that before, not until they dedicated all their lives to God. So I decided to be active in church, joined the AWANA, young people’s program, and the choir; until I was asked to teach in the Sunday school class. Then my Pastor observed me while I was teaching, and then he told me that I should be a teacher. In my mind, I was laughing, for how can I become a teacher, I hated writing and studying; most of all, I don’t like the uniform of the teachers, and maybe because of my eldest sister too, she always tell  me that If I’ll go to college, there’s no other course that will fit for my face, only a teacher. Truly, life for me seems so ridiculous! Every promise I made to myself did not come into a realization. What I hated, that I become! But I praise God for all His divine interventions, for I realized that what I hated is God's perfect design. So I embraced the call. I followed my Pastor. I decided to take education in Cebu Normal University. It wasn’t easy. I have to literally start from the very beginning. All the lessons in elementary and high school that I did not learn, I have to learn it by myself, without any supervision from a teacher.

            You see, the moment I surrendered my life to God, it was Him who orchestrated all things. Though I have to learn things on my own, but God was there for me to guide me. I remember the time when I asked my father to help me with my English 1 assignment, I gave him the book to answer it for me, but he returned it to me after reading it. He said, I have to answer it on my own, for I will never learn if I will depend on him. He only let me understand the instructions, nothing less, nothing more.  After that incident, I did not go to him again to ask for help. The last words I received from him before he died was, “Don’t you ever put your trust to anyone, not even to my siblings. I know them. You have to learn to stand on your own.” A month later, he died. Then he was right, my aunt stopped supporting me. But I praise God for the faith that He planted in my heart. Though my father taught me to learn to stand on my own, but I know in my heart that I don't have to do it alone. It's God who upholds me. It's Him who Fathers me yesterday, today, and forever. It's Him who provided for my needs in different ways. Indeed, my help comes from the LORD, which made heaven and earth!