Bulletproofed Heart

BULLETPROOFED HEART

Psalm 118: 13-14

13) Thou hast thrust sore at me that I might fall: but the LORD helped me. 14) The LORD is my strength and song, and is become my salvation.

To hear a condemning statement from an enemy is a normal thing; if it came from a family member, a friend, or a neighbor is still tolerable for me; but if the source is from someone whose main calling is to bring comfort and hope to the lost world, it's blatantly devastating. 

I cannot remember an instance that I made fun with anybody's name or appearance in my elementary years, not in high school, nor in college. I was so sensitive every time I hear someone making other people laugh at the expense of other people's deficiency, and I think I still am today. Maybe because I know how it is to be bullied with my name, and the way I look. 

I used to think of myself as the ugly duckling not just inside my immediate family but all over the clan, especially at my mother's side. I just felt like everyone of them is beautiful regardless of their gender. So, to avoid the painful comparison, I did not hang out with them. Please don't get my family and cousins wrong, it wasn't their fault, but my self-built insecurities. In fact, my cousins really did their best to reach me out, but it was my choice to stay away from them for the said reason. But praise be to God!  By the grace of God all these immaturity and insecurities had slowly gone right after I come to know Christ as my Lord and personal Savior. To discover your true identity according to God's lens and to know your worth in the life of Jesus is truly liberating. 

Anyways, no matter how hard I tried to avoid not to be compared with anyone, I still experienced it, but at least God already took that self-built insecurities in me and replaced it with a bulletproofed heart. When people misjudged my facial expression and the tone of my voice, I always feel His tender top of my head and shoulder telling me, "Don't worry, I know you better, never mind them." God just taught me to shake off all the negative comments people stoned on me. 

I remember how our school director rashly came to the classroom right after she heard me crying on the phone. I was stuttering while sharing my frustrations about the condemning statement I heard from a man of God. For me that was the most terrible words I heard, not because of the words itself, but I just can't accept where it sourced. But again, God is faithful; He reminded me through the school director about the imperfection of human being, no one is exempted, everyone is subject to fall. She reiterated the importance of focusing our eyes on Jesus, the author and the finisher of our faith, written in the book of Hebrews 12:2. Then, she taught me how to face the situation. She put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Glory, take everything you heard as an opportunity to evaluate yourself, if it's true, then change, but if you know it's not, then, shake it off! And please let me warn you, all these things that you heard, Satan will always bring it back to your remembrance. you have to cancel it right away in the name of Jesus." Wow! I just learned how to face a spiritual battle that day, and I am forever grateful to God for my school director for teaching me a great lesson, though I learned it the hard way. By God's grace, I was able to forgive and move on with God. 

Reviews

[Mr. D]

People will do whatever suits them. If you want to be a witness for Jesus, you will need more than a bulletproofed heart. For you see...not all of Satan's minions use bullets and they do not always aim for the heart...

You should never put faith in people. A lesson life will teach you again and again.

[Himaya Ka]

Indeed, you are who you said you are. Thank you for your honesty!
Hebrews 11:6
King James Version
6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

[Mr. D]

I assume you refer to my intro. I am toxic in many ways. All people are. It does not in any way alter the truth I said to you.

[Himaya Ka]

God loves you.

[Mr. D]

Love...hmm. That is a difficult word for me.

[Himaya Ka]

Yes, it is, most specially if we have not met yet the source of it. But personally, it is chasing me daily.
1 John 4:7-8.

[Himaya Ka]

7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

[Mr. D]

It is not necessary to tell me this. I believe the same as you do. But thanks nonetheless.

[Himaya Ka]

Thank you for passing by... God bless!

[Kerra]

Satan is a horrible beast, God is all loving.
and we choose our battles daily.
I am with God all the way.

[Himaya Ka]

Very well said, ystorm. To experience the love of God is the most amazing thing every believer could truly enjoy. Thank you for your thoughts.