THE STING OF DEATH

When uncertainty attacks your sanity, just look up!

THE STING OF DEATH

 

Habakkuk 3:17-19

17 Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls:18 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.19 The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments.

           

It wasn’t my plan to dream the impossible dream or to follow the unreachable star, not until the LORD planted a seed in my heart; a seed that has been growing undeniably, though I did not care to nurture it, but it’s like a tree planted by the waters,  which spread out its  roots by the river. But sadly, while it blossomed, a crawling creature left a broken fragment on the green petals right after it fondly sucked the nectar’s sweetness.

Yes, to write a Filipino textbook is not my dream, it’s too big, too ambitious, and too high to reach. But I see how the LORD paved the way. A push from the mother eagle is determined to let me leave the nest.  The willingness of the people to help in the English translation is like a flowing water that keeps me going.  The making is fun, and I was enjoying listening to my pupils reading and memorizing the poems and songs. I also enjoyed checking the worksheets; I was happy returning the positive result of the activities. But the joy and the excitement had slowly gone when I felt there’s something wrong with my health. I felt sick. I felt pain in my head, throat, neck, and stomach; it happened when the noise of the class became unbearable.  There were times that I felt like the whiteboard ran. 

Yes, I had sensed the sting of death, which led me to think, that if my life is in its way to finality, I don’t want to die in the classroom with my pupils; if I will die, I want to die in the field sharing the gospel to those who do not hear the gospel yet.  So I thought of resigning. I asked permission from my mother, and my siblings; it was okay with them.  But when I went back to the Word of God, I was reminded how everything started, my decision contradicted with what I thought at the moment.

Truly, I don’t know what lies ahead. But there’s one thing I know for sure, God knows how to finish what He had started. If He will let me see the fruit of this labor, glory to HIM, but if not, HE remains good and victorious in my heart. HE is forever glorious!         

 

(April 2019)